Why don't women reply to e-mails?

[Big Daddy]

I had known a woman (as a student) and she gave me her e-mail before she graduated. She replied to my first couple of e-mails and then when I said I am interested in her, she stopped replying to my e-mails. What the hell happened? What should I be doing? I had asked for her phone number and she did not reply to my e-mail either.

Should I give it up? or try a few more times and then give it up?

Why are non-SP women so complicated?

 

[drlove]

Challenge her on it...

I believe the best approach is to be completely upfront about the situation... not confrontational, but for lack of a better word, blunt. Let her know that you're still interested (if that's the case) and ask her politely why she has not responded to you. Also tell her that if she is unable to reciprocate your feelings, she should tell you. That way, you won't be wasting your time on something that will never transpire.

 

[Big Daddy]

It is not that simple

I saw her in summer (July) and we talked a lot and smiled a lot. At that point, I never thought that I might be interested in her. She had graduated in early August. In September, I decided to leave this hobby and then I thought of her. I did not have any information on her, but her name. I dug through my old e-mails about one year back and then I found her e-mail address (data mining). So the only contact I have with her is e-mail. In my first couple of e-mails, she had indicated that her company is in financial trouble and she may not have a job in October (if the financial troubles continue). I was very direct with her when I had indicated my interest to her.

I think my attraction may be psychological. Not being able to talk to her makes me feel even more attracted to her.

 

[drlove]

Re: It is not that simple

I saw her in summer (July) and we talked a lot and smiled a lot. At that point, I never thought that I might be interested in her. She had graduated in early August. In September, I decided to leave this hobby and then I thought of her. I did not have any information on her, but her name. I dug through my old e-mails about one year back and then I found her e-mail address (data mining). So the only contact I have with her is e-mail. In my first couple of e-mails, she had indicated that her company is in financial trouble and she may not have a job in October (if the financial troubles continue). I was very direct with her when I had indicated my interest to her.

I think my attraction may be psychological. Not being able to talk to her makes me feel even more attracted to her.

My first question is, how well do you really know her?? She may have a boyfriend, or she may be too preoccupied with work related concerns to devote a lot of time/attention to you.

Again, while these are only hypothetical scenerios, they are possibilities. I think it's good to be direct; however, try to avoid getting caught up with psychological issues. It's like the classic game of cat and mouse. If a woman knows she can have you whenever she wants, she won't stay interested for long... but the minute she thinks you might be interested in someone else, she'll jump your bones right then and there. I realize I'm painting with broad strokes here, and not every male/female "game" fits that pattern, but IMHO - for the most part, it's true.

The same goes for men. Let me ask you something. Would you still be so attracted to her if she was e-mailing/calling you day in and day out?? My guess is, no. Men like the thrill of the chase every bit as much as women do. The key is to play it cool, while at the same time being honest and true to yourself. If it doesn't work out, at least you gave it your best shot.

 

[Big Daddy]

Thanks Dr. Love

You have painted the right picture. I don't know her very well. She was my student about a year back, and only thing I know is that she is not married.

It looks like a cat and mouse game to me as well. I am glad that I have a second opinion now.

Do I need to reconsider my retirement and come back to the hobby?

 

[drlove]

Re: Thanks Dr. Love

You have painted the right picture. I don't know her very well. She was my student about a year back, and only thing I know is that she is not married.

It looks like a cat and mouse game to me as well. I am glad that I have a second opinion now.

Do I need to reconsider my retirement and come back to the hobby?

Let's call it plan "B".

 

[Big Daddy]

Now that I have seen the doctor

Now that I have Doctor's advice, I am seriously considering a come back . I am glad that I have options

 

[drlove]

Re: My Fee...

Will that be cash or credit??

 

[Big Daddy]

Your Fee

I thought my insurance covered the fee

 

[xix]

I had known a woman (as a student) and she gave me her e-mail before she graduated. She replied to my first couple of e-mails and then when I said I am interested in her, she stopped replying to my e-mails. What the hell happened? What should I be doing? I had asked for her phone number and she did not reply to my e-mail either.

Should I give it up? or try a few more times and then give it up?


Why are non-SP women so complicated?

Yes give it up. I frequent a web site for seducers or players and they will tell you to walk away as fast as you can.
And to answer some q.
- the email of interest may have spooked her or it was to soon.
- seek hapiness else where.

they don't know how to play the game because no onw has told them the rules.

 

[xix]

Re: It is not that simple

I saw her in summer (July) and we talked a lot and smiled a lot. At that point, I never thought that I might be interested in .

it was spur of the moment talk. nothing significant at the time

her. She had graduated in early August. In September, I decided to leave this hobby and then I thought of her. I did not have any information on her, but her name. I dug through my old e-mails about one year back and then I found her e-mail address (data mining). So the only contact I have with her is e-mail. In my first couple of e-mails, she had indicated that her company is in financial trouble and she may not have a job in October (if the financial troubles continue). I was very direct with her when I had indicated my interest to her.

I think my attraction may be psychological. Not being able to talk to her makes me feel even more attracted to her.

maybe she was looking for another job and was trying to see if you knew of place that was hiring.
I think you answered you own q.

 

[Big Daddy]

Thanks XiX

XiX,

Thanks, I had my share of stupid games. At least she could have sent a fuc* y** e-mail to me, which she did not. So, I have decided to move on.

 

[drlove]

Re: Thanks XiX

XiX,

Thanks, I had my share of stupid games. At least she could have sent a fuc* y** e-mail to me, which she did not. So, I have decided to move on.

Good decision on your part, BD... Happy hobbying!

 

[TJ in the 'Peg]

Good Call

Hey BD, I just caught up with this thread. Been there, done that. Got caught up in the girl's game, and it went of for WAY too long. Until I finally left.

Was the best thing I did. You made the right choice.

TJ

 

[Big Daddy]

Good to Know I was not the only one

TJ,

It was nice to know that I was not the only one to play this stupid game. Thanks for your support.

 

[Sixer]

I did run into a similar situation. A couple of years ago, I was assigned to give training to this new female colleague at work. She was smart and witty. After working together for a few months, we had lunch and dinner numerous of time. I never thought anything was out of the norm since I just graduated at that time and I was not too interested in her. Until one night she invited me over for a coffee, we chatted for a long time and discussed a lot of personal topics. I stayed over at her house that night and slept on her sofa alone. Anyway, we hardly spoke to each other after that night. I thought I had made a bad move for showing my interest toward her and maybe it was too soon? I send her some more emails trying to revise the situation. I got no responses just like you. As I got accepted to another company, she just left me a voice message on my last day there. Even she only sat a few cubicles away from me. She did send me some greeting emails on my birthday & Xmas. A year later, I caught up with a former colleague who is also a close friend of her at a convention. She questioned me why I never took more direct action toward her friend. Huh? I gave some deep thought and concluded that the direct action meant that I should have taken some action with her friend while I stayed over at her house that night. Her response was I am in the right ballpark.

BD

This girl that you have mentioned, she might or might not be interested in you. Try to found out more from her friends. It would be great if all of us were like Mel Gibson in the movie called what women wants.

 

[Big Daddy]

You can not believe everything a woman says..

Sixer,

I have learnt that you cannot believe everything a woman says. If you make a quick move then you are fast, if you don't then you are too slow. Woman want to hold as many guys as possible. By saying that the guy is too fast or too slow is their way of saying "It is a man's fault" and I am a nice person. This is the cat and mouse game...

My situation is little different. I did not know this woman that well. I don't know her friends. I knew her as a student and that's about it. I think to make things happen a woman needs to participate or communicate. Whenever there is lack of communication, the best thing a guy can do is give up. If you don't the either you are settling for less, or you may end up wasting a lot of time and not get anywhere. I think communication is a key for success in a relationship.

 

[drlove]

Sixer...

I did run into a similar situation. A couple of years ago, I was assigned to give training to this new female colleague at work. She was smart and witty. After working together for a few months, we had lunch and dinner numerous of time. I never thought anything was out of the norm since I just graduated at that time and I was not too interested in her. Until one night she invited me over for a coffee, we chatted for a long time and discussed a lot of personal topics. I stayed over at her house that night and slept on her sofa alone. Anyway, we hardly spoke to each other after that night. I thought I had made a bad move for showing my interest toward her and maybe it was too soon? I send her some more emails trying to revise the situation. I got no responses just like you. As I got accepted to another company, she just left me a voice message on my last day there. Even she only sat a few cubicles away from me. She did send me some greeting emails on my birthday & Xmas. A year later, I caught up with a former colleague who is also a close friend of her at a convention. She questioned me why I never took more direct action toward her friend. Huh? I gave some deep thought and concluded that the direct action meant that I should have taken some action with her friend while I stayed over at her house that night. Her response was I am in the right ballpark.

BD

This girl that you have mentioned, she might or might not be interested in you. Try to found out more from her friends. It would be great if all of us were like Mel Gibson in the movie called what women wants.

Dude,

What were you thinking?? A woman doesn't invite a man to stay over so that he may give her his assessment of the couch's comfort level in the morning. No wonder she didn't speak to you after that!

Just out of curiosity, she must have given you some signs.... I.e did she make any attempt to get close to you physically...kissing etc.. Esp. asking personal questions. It's usually a dead giveaway. It happened the same way with my ex, except that I went for it!

 

[Big Daddy]

Re: Sixer...

Dude,

What were you thinking?? A woman doesn't invite a man to stay over so that he may give her his assessment of the couch's comfort level in the morning. No wonder she didn't speak to you after that!

Just out of curiosity, she must have given you some signs.... I.e did she make any attempt to get close to you physically...kissing etc.. Esp. asking personal questions. It's usually a dead giveaway. It happened the same way with my ex, except that I went for it!

Dr Love,

While I agree with you, it ain't that easy. If he would have made the move, she would have asked him to go home and sleep on his own sofa. If she would have given hints then I think he would not have slept in her sofa. Sometimes guys act nice thinking that they might have a chance in the future. I think this is when they open themselves to games, IHO.

 

[Big Daddy]

What a pain in the A**

She did respond to my two e-mails before I showed an explict intertest. After that a hiatus. Also, I suspect that she has forwarded that e-mail to the secrataries at my work place as I hear these secrateries whispering and giggling. Not that I care, but what a pain in the a** she has become.

Anyways, Misty let me focus on you. Do you have a web site or do you work at an agency?