Why do many people think prostitution belittles women?

[rhuarc29]

Honestly, since I've been old enough to know it exists, I've always wondered why prostitution is illegal. I know the typical fears many people have about legalizing prostitution and I know the potential benefits of it aswell. But it always comes down to two arguments by the advocates for keeping it illegal that I can't quite understand.

The first, is that sex for money is inherently wrong.
Why? If you put aside all the social and/or religious stigmas...what makes it so "wrong"?

The second, is that it somehow demeans women. Now, I can understand how someone might think this is possible, but I find that the opposite is just as likely. Afterall, these ladies are offering sex for money in an agreed upon exchange. If you want to call a mutual, willful agreement exploitation, you might want to read up on what that word actually means. Besides which, what is more demeaning? That men expect women to perform sexual acts in exchange for money or that women expect men to fork over there money for an hour of two of fulfillment of something they are otherwise missing in their lives? I'd say neither. So long as both parties are willing and understand what they are entering into, how is one side being exploited?

I know I'm asking the wrong crowd, but can anyone shed light on the opposing point of view so that I may broaden my perspective?

 

[N1ghth4wk]

I agree with you completely, rhuarc. I sell my body everyday too. Not sexually, but intellectually. I devote my body to doing work for clients who pay me. What is the difference, really?

I think the reason that some say that prostitution exploits women is because there are many places in the world that take women and children as sex slaves. They give the entire industry a bad name and a stigma. I believe that in Canada, if we were to legalize prostitution, we could regulate it, clean up the sex slave shops, and get on with building a reputable industry.

 

[rhuarc29]

I think the reason that some say that prostitution exploits women is because there are many places in the world that take women and children as sex slaves. They give the entire industry a bad name and a stigma. I believe that in Canada, if we were to legalize prostitution, we could regulate it, clean up the sex slave shops, and get on with building a reputable industry.

I keep sex trafficking and sexism as seperate issues, where I feel that many combine the two. Sex trafficking is a legitimate concern (one that I understand), although I don't think many people really understand the facts behind it and just go along with the mainstream thought that legalizing prostitution will, without a doubt, increase sex trafficking, while simultaneously ignoring the fact the safety of the women they are defending may (note: I say may because I'm not ignorant enough to claim that I know it will, without a doubt) significantly improve under a regulated industry in an advanced country like Canada.

It's sexism and the exploitation of women by men in the arena of prostitution that I don't understand. I respect these ladies, what they do, and the lives they lead, just as I respect the men who treat these ladies (and themselves).

 

[N1ghth4wk]

I keep sex trafficking and sexism as seperate issues, where I feel that many combine the two. Sex trafficking is a legitimate concern (one that I understand), although I don't think many people really understand the facts behind it and just go along with the mainstream thought that legalizing prostitution will, without a doubt, increase sex trafficking, while simultaneously ignoring the fact the safety of the women they are defending may (note: I say may because I'm not ignorant enough to claim that I know it will, without a doubt) significantly improve under a regulated industry in an advanced country like Canada.

It's sexism and the exploitation of women by men in the arena of prostitution that I don't understand. I respect these ladies, what they do, and the lives they lead, just as I respect the men who treat these ladies (and themselves).

I can see how you would see sexism and trafficking as separate issues... no question that they are. However, I do not believe that it is sexism that creates this stigma around prostitution. At least, not in our advanced society here in Canada (I'm certain it plays a huge role in other parts of the world). I believe our society puts this same stigma on male escorts. I think the stigma comes from the US puritan roots. Since we are saturated in American culture, we buy into the same puritan values. And you are correct, those puritans then use sex trafficking as rationale for attacking legalization of prostitution, not realizing (or maybe realizing but not caring) that by fighting legalization, they are in fact, like you say, likely making these women more susceptible to exploitation and harm.

 

[bobistheowl]

If history has taught us anything, it's that, if a business is legitimate, but requires protection, cops will expect to eat there for free.

 

[GG2]

Legalizing it would probably cause a whole host of new nightmares. Best to keep it underground. The girls probably make more money this way too since they don't pay taxes.

 

[blackrock13]

If history has taught us anything, it's that, if a business is legitimate, but requires protection, cops will expect to eat there for free.

So what do they get to eat at banks?

 

[rld]

With the moral and religious questions logically put aside there are other reasons that prostitution is looked down upon.

There have been elements of the industry in which women have been exploited by violent pimps or in other cases by organized crime who may, from time to time, control the entrance of the prostitute into the country and their actions once here.

Whether it be true or not there are popular associations between prostitution and drug abuse.

There is also the broader question of how our society views sex. Now, while this is changing, there is an image of romanticization around sex and relationships, which is particularly popular in media directed at young women. Thus sex becomes entangled with ideas about romantic love, and self-esteem and some people object to making sex a commodity when it has such overtones.

I think Canadian society has moved a long way towards a more tolerant view of different sexual practices, but there is still plenty more road to be travelled before I woman who is a prostitute would be looked upon the same way as a teacher or a bank teller, by the general public.

 

[rhuarc29]

There is also the broader question of how our society views sex. Now, while this is changing, there is an image of romanticization around sex and relationships, which is particularly popular in media directed at young women. Thus sex becomes entangled with ideas about romantic love, and self-esteem and some people object to making sex a commodity when it has such overtones.

Well, that's an informative answer to my first question. There certainly is a romanticism surrounding sex directed at us in our youth (although, as you say this is changing or evolving). While some may view sex as a commodity as contrary to their perfect world, I still fail to see how it is inherently wrong. I still believe this to be one of the primary reasons why people are against legalization: their personal feelings on the exchange of sex for money. As far as I'm concerned, such an argument doesnt actually have a place when talking about legal matters such as this.

 

[TeasePlease]

Prostitution objectifies women.

 

[N1ghth4wk]

With the moral and religious questions logically put aside there are other reasons that prostitution is looked down upon.

There have been elements of the industry in which women have been exploited by violent pimps or in other cases by organized crime who may, from time to time, control the entrance of the prostitute into the country and their actions once here.

Whether it be true or not there are popular associations between prostitution and drug abuse.

There is also the broader question of how our society views sex. Now, while this is changing, there is an image of romanticization around sex and relationships, which is particularly popular in media directed at young women. Thus sex becomes entangled with ideas about romantic love, and self-esteem and some people object to making sex a commodity when it has such overtones.

I think Canadian society has moved a long way towards a more tolerant view of different sexual practices, but there is still plenty more road to be travelled before I woman who is a prostitute would be looked upon the same way as a teacher or a bank teller, by the general public.

Well said, rld..... although I don't know that romanticism of sex is the true culprit that creates this stigma around prostitution. I believe that there are still many people, especially in the US, that have puritan values and believe that sex is strictly for the purpose of procreation. Indulging in sex for any other reason makes you a sinner. And since we in Canada are so heavily exposed to US culture, we tend to adopt the same morals.

 

[DocOdd]

I think there's interaction between the attitudes that many people still have that sex in general is dirty and something where women are being used by men (especially casual sex), and the actual abuses that exist in the industry. The attitude that sex is a dirty game of men using women makes people alert to the abuses and quick to blame them on something inherent to what seems to them to be a basically sketchy activity, and the abuses help reinforce their belief that it's a sketchy activity. That sort of feedback between mutually reinforcing emotionally charged beliefs is responsible for a lot of the more fervent mistaken beliefs people hold.

 

[OnlySex]

Legalizing it would probably cause a whole host of new nightmares. Best to keep it underground. The girls probably make more money this way too since they don't pay taxes.

Wrong !!!! Most of the nightmares and exploitation occur because it is illegal !

What nightmares are going to come out of legalizing it ?????? The government can collect taxes. Not long ago there were no government lotteries and most number rackets were run by organized crime. Consider the amount they collect from lotteries and the fact that numbers racket were largely wiped out.

Legalized prostitution allows for licensing and thus makes it easier to prevent human trafficking. If we have Terb members against legalized prostitution - consider the up hill battle in the public.

 

[N1ghth4wk]

I think there's interaction between the attitudes that many people still have that sex in general is dirty and something where women are being used by men (especially casual sex), and the actual abuses that exist in the industry. The attitude that sex is a dirty game of men using women makes people alert to the abuses and quick to blame them on something inherent to what seems to them to be a basically sketchy activity, and the abuses help reinforce their belief that it's a sketchy activity. That sort of feedback between mutually reinforcing emotionally charged beliefs is responsible for a lot of the more fervent mistaken beliefs people hold.

Interesting point about feedback, Doc.... those who would deny legalization (i.e. keep the activity "sketchy"), rationalize their position on the basis of exploitation. Yet exploitation is precisely (I believe), one of the things that legalization would minimize, or even, in a socially advanced society such as ours, possibly effectively eliminate. It's a vicious cycle

 

[Don Draper]

The essence of the love making act is an intimate, sacred moment between two people that (ideally) roots out of love, respect and affection. There is no way to put a price on this and thus it should be celebrated and practiced in such status only.

...or so say the idealists and conservative moralists...

..hence the castigation of anyone who engages in it for reasons other than pure intimacy. The gavel of judgement falls harder upon women since it is they who demand faithfulness and dedication from relationships more than men.

The act of sex can also be recreational, fun and passionate without it being defined by love only. Many couples practice this daily without the aim of marriage, children or future ramifications. It has been so for centuries. Another option that history has witnessed is the exchange of carnal pleasure for protection, status and offspring, often without love involved as well. So why not exchange $ for this option so long as both parties are in agreement?

Most of the TERB members reflect a more open and progressive attitude towards sex. I doubt our outlook would play well amongst the bible thumpers and conservatives who have their own hypocrisy issues.

 

[BuyingSexDocumentary]

These are the kinds of conversations and points that we are looking for in our documentary. If you are interested in getting involved and giving your opinion on the issue of decriminalization please consider contacting us and finding out more about our documentary. Will be happy to fill you in on us and our approach - contact us at buyingsex@gmail.com

 

[N1ghth4wk]

These are the kinds of conversations and points that we are looking for in our documentary. If you are interested in getting involved and giving your opinion on the issue of decriminalization please consider contacting us and finding out more about our documentary. Will be happy to fill you in on us and our approach - contact us at buyingsex@gmail.com

I assume anonymity would be protected?

 

[BuyingSexDocumentary]

Yes, anonymity would be protected. However, we do have a few clients who have come forward and decided not to be hidden and we welcome that as well.

 

[TVA]

It does. women should not charge money for sex. They should just do it for free, no questions asked.

 

[SS Sharla]

I find it funny that it is difficult for people to see how this business may be demeaning to women - when we are on a public forum where people can openly rate a girls face and pussy tightness out of 10. Now that's empowerment! That would be considered harrasment in any other work place.

Don't get me wrong. Girls are going to do it either way and make the best of it and there are a lot of perks to this business, I am just saying - let's not pretend it doesn't carry some demeaning issues.

Less stigma would be a great thing, esp for making laws that protect working girls from bad situations.

But does this business objectify and demean women at times - of course! But they are big girls and get to choose in most cases. However, I will note that of the roughly 35 girls I have met in this business there haven't even been 10 who haven't had a physical, emotional, or sexually violent history that helps them be cold to the types of objectification we go through somedays. And that is a scary thing that speaks volumes. Most of the empowerment we feel comes from being able to turn off our emotions to the point that we can make good money by doing things other women would feel hurt by.

But it can't be all bad or we wouldn't do it. There are many wonderful people and experiences this business has to offer. Just don't overlook the unfortunate bits, or the resources to change those things won't be there.