Sally Struthers will star in a new sitcom, “Gall in the Family”.
In a reprise of her role as Gloria Bunker, she finds herself residing in New York with her husband Michael Stivic (played by Rob Reiner), twenty-something son Joey Stivic (played by Jake Gyllenhaal) and his live-in girlfriend River (played by Megan Fox).
Twenty years have passed since the Stivics moved out to the west coast and Gloria finds herself and her family back in New York working in a manufacturing plant as a labourer and union steward. Mike is a full time house-husband and part time tutor, Joey is attending college and his girlfriend is a pro-green political activist sponging off of the Stivics.
Gloria’s outlook on life has changed dramatically - marriage problems, substance abuse and low paying jobs have left her cranky, self-centered and with little patience towards political correctness.
A snippet from the leaked pilot episode…
Gloria arrives home by opening the door and slamming it shut. Mike rushes from the kitchen.
Mike: Hi honey, how was your day?
Gloria: I got two words for you (blows a raspberry)
Gloria moves over to her chair and sits down
Gloria: Don’t just stand there gawking at me, go get me a beer!
Mike rushes off
Mike: Right away Gloria…
Joey’s girlfriend Rivers comes down the stairs and parks herself on the couch. River is wearing tight jeans and low-cut top.
Mike: Here’s your beer Gloria
River: Grab one for me too pops?
Gloria: Hold it! Hold it! Who do you think pays for the beer around here?
River: We all do
Gloria: We all do? And how do you figure all of youse pay for it since I’m the only one working?
River: Well, Mike cleans the house all day, and Joey, well Joey is your son and I make sure that your son’s personal needs are taken care of
Gloria: Personal needs? What the hell kind of-
Mike: Here’s your beer River. Is that President Obama on TV?
Gloria: Obama (Gloria rolls here eyes), Boy, if my daddy were alive today to see a black man as President
Mike: Shush Gloria, he’s about to make his holiday speech.
Gloria: Holiday speech! Whatever happened to Christmas as in the “Christmas speech”?
River: There’s no room for religion in the holiday season
Gloria: Says you, you atheist you. Christmas is an important word, it’s about the time that Christ had a mass of gifts for poor people, hence Christ-mas
River: Who’s Christ?
Mike: Uh River, why don’t you come help me with something in the kitchen?
Just then Joey comes in through the front door
River: Hey baby!
Joey: What a day River
Joey and River embrace in a long passionate kiss
Gloria: You think you never seen each other in a couple of years…
Joey: Oh ma, weren’t you ever in love?
Gloria: Yes and your father and I kept our love private and behind closed doors
River: No wonder Joey was an only kid
Gloria: You never mind you beer sponging drunk you. Michael! Where’s dinner!?
r may be for her big fake implants
