(Note: Originally posted on Kiarra's board)
OK...Now that I've had a disinfecting shower, and as promised, I... umm... stopped in at the Tanglewood this afternoon,you know ...to see if it had improved since the last time I was there (about 5 years ago), and since all the other clubs in the region have shut down.
I honestly don't know where to begin....so...I'll just give an account of my 45 minutes there...(I have no idea why I stayed so excruciatingly long...call it dedication to getting the 'full experience' for you guys).
I walked down the stairs and entered what can only be described as a small room decorated a la seventies basement, with vintage Canadian Tire patio furniture for seating. Bad country music playing, sports on TV. About 9, fairly unsavoury/rundown looking charcters around the bar and seated sporadically throughout. I actually felt a little nervous, and with the exception of the bartender, not a female in sight. I perch myself at the bar, and ask for my favourite brew....bartender had never heard of it (Canadian Light). Settle for a Coor's Light and proceed to take in the atmosphere. (It REALLY stinks, by the way...old cigar smoke mixed with barf maybe??...and I smoke!). Anyway, the room is fairly small by bar standards, closer to a large basement with very low ceiling - couple of pool tables, and some assorted video games situated here and there amidst the patio furniture. Very small stage, maybe 5'X10' with single pole dead centre. Suddenly, behold, another girl appears...quite overweight, and not in a good way...but, being the sharp guy that I am realize she MUST be a 'dancer' in view of her thigh high boots (size - large). She immediately heads up these side stairs with a customer, and I begin to think "hey....interesting"....but... turns out these side stairs simply lead out back where everyone goes to smoke. Then, another very large girl appears from ANOTHER set of stairs, and asks me if I want a dance. "Ummm...NOOO...but, you know, thanks for asking." She then proceeds behind the bar and...get this...the music stops and there is dead silence in the place...the bartender and 'dancer' are rummaging around looking for a CD (apparently, this girl decided she was going to go on stage). An argument erupts between these two amid the otherwise DEAD SILENCE...and continued for some time (note comments re: nervousness earlier on). I feel like a complete idiot. Finally the dancer storms back up the stairs from whence she came. Music (finally) comes back on...note that bartender is also DJ. Anyway, after all this commotion, I have sighted 4 distinct dancers, all overweight, but one mildly attractive if you could get by the tattoos. After awhile, another dancer decides to take the stage, and at least she knows what songs she wants...apparently "Track 5 from this CD, Track 8 from that" etc. So the bartender, again in dead silence, clicks through the tracks to reach the agreed upon song. The overweight lady begins a rather desultry dance to, again, some really bad country (and I like country). While she is dancing, the first girl (remember? the one who had an argument with the bartender?) returns with I can only assume was the manager, and now the bartender, the dancer, AND the manager get into ANOTHER heated argument (keep in mind, many of you likely have basements bigger than this place). While this is going on, the song finishes for the poor girl attempting to dance on stage. The argument continues in an otherwise DEAD SILENT room. Finally, they decide to put some more music on for this poor girl....so...click click click....to track 8.
<To Be Continued>