What if...

[freestuff]

Another hypothetical situation.

https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?269522-What-would-I-do-thread

What if you discovered that your brother-in-law (or your son-in-law) was hiring escorts, would you rat him out to your sister (or your daughter)?

 

[HOF]

Before or after, he gets his ass kicked!

 

[Brill]

Yes.

 

[sizziler]

Funny question because this exact question has been plaguing me for a few months now. He works 12 hour days and says he is not making any money. Sometimes even working on the weekend. What I have been trying to figure out is, how will I know. Thought of getting a PI on the case but have you seen the number of them in the phone book? Would really hate to bounce him up at the front door at an incall though. Could you imagine that moment?

Oh, I would tell him that he needs to tell her or I will. In case you are wondering, I am single. I do not believe in cheating.

 

[Iconic One]

Sizz - So, you don`t know that your brother in law is cheating. And you are clearly ok if your brother in law tells your family that you see SPs. You know, he might find what you`re doing, regardless of whether or not you`re single, to be unacceptable. So sure, hire a private investigator, gather some bogus evidence and rat him out to your sister, your parents, his parents, his employer.

Get serious, do you think that`s your role here. Has your sister asked you to do this, I doubt it. Unless you have a reason to believe he is spending his money on SPs, you`re only coming to this conclusion because you do it yourself. Why don`t you try this - talk to him like a man. See if he needs some help. Offer your assistance without all the judgement. Then, mind your own business. The last thing anyone needs in a marriage is for a relative to get deeply involved in their personal matters. If there was obviously physical or psychological abuse, sure you have to do it. But from what you have described, this is not the case.

Back up off of there. Let them be. Offer a hand and maybe it will be accepted. Otherwise, leave them alone.

 

[freestuff]

Sizz - So, you don`t know that your brother in law is cheating. And you are clearly ok if your brother in law tells your family that you see SPs. You know, he might find what you`re doing, regardless of whether or not you`re single, to be unacceptable. So sure, hire a private investigator, gather some bogus evidence and rat him out to your sister, your parents, his parents, his employer.

Get serious, do you think that`s your role here. Has your sister asked you to do this, I doubt it. Unless you have a reason to believe he is spending his money on SPs, you`re only coming to this conclusion because you do it yourself. Why don`t you try this - talk to him like a man. See if he needs some help. Offer your assistance without all the judgement. Then, mind your own business. The last thing anyone needs in a marriage is for a relative to get deeply involved in their personal matters. If there was obviously physical or psychological abuse, sure you have to do it. But from what you have described, this is not the case.

Back up off of there. Let them be. Offer a hand and maybe it will be accepted. Otherwise, leave them alone.

What if Sizziler hired a PI and found out he was pooning but when confronted, he denied it? Still butt-out? If so, what if the scenario was this -- assuming you're married, if you sister knew that your wife was having an affair, would you want your sister to butt out of that situation too or tell you about it?

 

[S.C. Joe]

Family comes first in my book

 

[The Oracle]

I'm not big on ratting out on anybody.

Never appreciated when it was done to me.

Now that might be different if I was a church going saint that never hurt anybody in his life but unfortunately that's not the case.

 

[tboy]

Well, since I am a firm believer in monogamy I would confront him first (if I had solid proof) and say: you have three choices:

Stop
Leave
Or she finds out anonymously.

 

[jiiimmm]

Are there kids involved? are you prepared to break up a family and put people in the poor house? How do you know the other half isn't already aware of it or cares at all. Be carefull of the consequences of your actions.

 

[freestuff]

Are there kids involved? are you prepared to break up a family and put people in the poor house? How do you know the other half isn't already aware of it or cares at all. Be carefull of the consequences of your actions.

If your sister (daughter) knows about the SPs then saying something really isn't going to hurt, is it? OK. Let's say your brother-in-law (son-in-law) was having an affair instead of seeing SPs, would you still think that you shouldn't say anything because it would break up the marriage?

 

[Iconic One]

What if Sizziler hired a PI and found out he was pooning but when confronted, he denied it? Still butt-out? If so, what if the scenario was this -- assuming you're married, if you sister knew that your wife was having an affair, would you want your sister to butt out of that situation too or tell you about it?

Well, I think you know my answer by reading my response. Butt out - that would go for my sister too (if I had one).

 

[tboy]

Are there kids involved? are you prepared to break up a family and put people in the poor house? How do you know the other half isn't already aware of it or cares at all. Be carefull of the consequences of your actions.

Well, in my many years on this planet I have only met ONE woman who knew, and accepted, a husband having sex with other women....so, the odds are PFG that the wife doesn't know. Couple that with the amount of women who would actually ENDORSE a husband sleeping with ESCORTS, well, you know where I'm going with that......

 

[jiiimmm]

seeing SPs or MPs or ...is a byproduct of other issues in the marriage. Breaking up a family can result in kids living in poverty and your sister or daughter living in some ghetto if your not able or willing to step in and support. I'm not supporting or condoning the individuals actions. I'm just saying be carefull you don't send people to the poor house. A loving supportive father and husband who takes care of his family but sees the odd SP isn't such a bad thing compared to breaking up a family and sending a single mom with kids to a gang run hood because they cannot afford to be elsewhere. It's not an easy thing, all I'm saying is condider the consequences.

 

[jiiimmm]

Well, in my many years on this planet I have only met ONE woman who knew, and accepted, a husband having sex with other women....so, the odds are PFG that the wife doesn't know. Couple that with the amount of women who would actually ENDORSE a husband sleeping with ESCORTS, well, you know where I'm going with that......

You are correct, its not so much acceptance or endorsement as a don't ask don't tell policy. I think plenty of marriages operate this way.

 

[freestuff]

seeing SPs or MPs or ...is a byproduct of other issues in the marriage. Breaking up a family can result in kids living in poverty and your sister or daughter living in some ghetto if your not able or willing to step in and support. I'm not supporting or condoning the individuals actions. I'm just saying be carefull you don't send people to the poor house. A loving supportive father and husband who takes care of his family but sees the odd SP isn't such a bad thing compared to breaking up a family and sending a single mom with kids to a gang run hood because they cannot afford to be elsewhere. It's not an easy thing, all I'm saying is condider the consequences.

But if they did divorced, wouldn't the husband/father have to make support and/or child payments? Wife would probably get the house. So where does the going to the poor house come from? It would more likely be the husband/father who goes to the poor house (support and/or child payments + seeing escorts).

 

[tboy]

But if they did divorced, wouldn't the husband/father have to make support and/or child payments? Wife would probably get the house. So where does the going to the poor house come from? It would more likely be the husband/father who goes to the poor house (support and/or child payments + seeing escorts).

soooo....the moral of your story? Don't see escorts if you're married.......

 

[freestuff]

soooo....the moral of your story? Don't see escorts if you're married.......

Not quite. Don't poon unless you're wife is ok with it or make sure you marry someone who has no siblings and whose parents are dead. Or don't get caught. I was just curious as to whether johns would stand up for one another (even against their own family).

 

[fuji]

Well, since I am a firm believer in monogamy I would confront him first (if I had solid proof) and say: you have three choices:

Stop
Leave
Or she finds out anonymously.

He has a fourth option.

 

[jiiimmm]

But if they did divorced, wouldn't the husband/father have to make support and/or child payments? Wife would probably get the house. So where does the going to the poor house come from? It would more likely be the husband/father who goes to the poor house (support and/or child payments + seeing escorts).

the wife dosn't automatically get the house. A lot of younger couples owe plenty on their current house, selling it due to divorce does not necessarily mean money in their pocket. Child support may cover some expenses but there are plenty of deadbeats out there. I think there is potential for every one to end up in the poor house.