What I Have Learned As I Matured

[daty]

WHAT I HAVE LEARNED AS I MATURED

I've learned that you cannot make
someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just assholes.
I've learned that it takes years
to build up trust, and it only takes
suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by
on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a big weenie
or huge boobs.
I've learned that you shouldn't
compare yourself to others - they are
more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep puking
long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible
for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of
how hot and steamy a relationship is
at first, the passion fades, and there
had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that the people you care most
about in life are taken from you too soon
and all the less important ones just never
go away.
Pass this along to 5 friends...trust me,
they'll appreciate it. Who knows,
maybe something good will happen.

If not...tough shit

 

[dogman]

WOW! All that learned in such a short time.......as you are still young enough to remember it all.......lol

 

[2sexxxy]

I have learned not knowing the difference beetween were, where, and wear is pathetic for a university student.

I have learned that swimming with musical socks on is not as much fun as it sounds.

I have learned that when smoking pot write stuff down so you dont go crazy trying to remember your brilliant ideas.

 

[Chivas Regal]

And I have learned that we all start out in diapers, pissing and shitting ourselves, relying on others to clean us up.

Enjoy your life, live hard, play hard and love hard!

Because that is how we end our life!

It's called the circle of life and damn its cruel, I just hope I'm not sane at the end...

C.R.

 

[Cool Dude]

I've learned

that funny posts like these deserve another look by the members here.

PS- Don't you get bonus points if the old person you push into traffic is using a walker or wheelchair? Just asking.

 

[rdhaired_vixen]

my lesson

I've learnt life's to short to be boring and miserable...

 

[daty]

Re: I've learned

that funny posts like these deserve another look by the members here.

PS- Don't you get bonus points if the old person you push into traffic is using a walker or wheelchair? Just asking.

Points will be awarded by the panel of arbitrators upon proper submission of triplicate applications.......AW HELL TAKE ANOTHER POINTS JUST FOR ASKING........

have a great DAtY

 

[The Challenger]

I can do this!

In no particular order. . .

1. I've realized that the more I learn the less I understand.

2. If you piss into the wind you don't need to shower.

3. Anyone wearing a Fedora hat is going to drive real slow in the left lane.

4. If you don't use a roach clip, the calouses on your fingers will build up.

5. They don't drink Molson Canadian in Quebec but it is always fun to order one anyways!

6. If the lobby is crowded, better to take the elevator to the basement so you are not the last one in.

7. In business it is better to ascend to the summit as shit always flows down hill.

8. A dog wagging his tail likes you while a cat wagging her tail does not.

9. Any line I stand in will suddenly become the slowest line moving.

10. The Maple Leafs will never win a Stanley Cup.

 

[Perry Mason]

What I have learned:

To work, like you don't need the money;

To love, like you have never been hurt;

To dance, like no one is looking!

Perry

 

[train]

Very insightful Perry .

 

[onthebottom]

I've learned

That life is too short for cheap alcohol.

That it costs nothing to smile.

To buy the best and keep it longer, it's less expensive in the long run.

There is always someone better looking, taller, richer or smarter than you, quit worring about it.

More people think they can sing than actually can.

The size of a woman's ass when she is 20 has a very low correlation with how good a friend she will be when she is 50.

You spend all the money you make.

Half the strokes are on the green.

Kids are cool.

There are very few bad blow jobs.

OTB

 

[daty]

a lot of fun replies and some veruy sage replies

 

[johnyboy]

When your feelin down remember the boy walking down the street crying because he had know shoes until he seen the man with no feet walking briskly by who had just stop because he passed the man with no legs who was trying to console the man with no..dicK..??? Be happy everyone has a sad story

 

[H4P]

My contributions in no particular order;

1. The more sex I have, the more I want.

2. On average, everyone has one testicle.

3. Offices are like a tree filled with monkees. From the top looking down, all you see are smiling faces, but from the bottom looking up, all you see are assholes.

4. Never forget that only 3% of our DNA separates us from chimpanzees.

5. Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Canadians who blow horns to break up traffic jams.

6. It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

7. When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.

8. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

9. You can find humor in anything if you're sick enough.

10. Common sense is not very common.

h4p

 

[Cool Dude]

1- Generally speaking, men love The Three Stooges, women hate them. Yuk..Yuk
2- Never bet on the NFL.
3- Men never need to ask for directions.
And finally,
4-Men should never, NEVER, give up control of the tv remote. It is an inalienable right.

ps- I like the New York Football Giants getting the points.