I am facing a family crisis, up to this point I always thought I knew what I was doing, working was easy. I could cover up the story, my child was too young too understand, but over the past couple of years it's been difficult to lie. My daughter is now a teen and I can't hide the late eve step out's anymore, and not having a real job. The other day she asked "what my night job was" psychastically speaking, several hundred $$ in my pocket was a true giveaway. I wonder! I think she knows, but just doesn't say anything. Am I hiding the secret or is she? Should I come clean and tell her, her mother is a ho? The lifestyle is obvious. I am not intending to quit it.
What do you tell the children?
- Thread starter Fabulous
- Start date
The children dont need to hear it .........being a teen doesnt need adult issues to worryFabulous said:
about .......This is why the governtment goes after Fathers to pay so your small income job
will be supplemented to take care of the children !........No child even 18 unless your justifying
it to them to make you feel good ...tell your friends if you must ........ not your
kids ! .........monkey see monkey do ..........Most of us gals in a
million years wouldnt want anyones kids following this footstep ironically enough from all the
surprises we endured .Its only obvious to you ...you dont need to leave the house dressed the
part .....What they do know will hurt them ! they will respect you the same and more working at
tim hortons .. why cause your there mom ! Its amazing how kids dont need anything materialistic
like Adults do to be happy ....they are so pure genuine and innocent when it comes to
love and acceptance ...... Incase you didnt know a hoes career is as fast a flyby
night to a month a year the pros a couple more years .Anything fast will end fast . Say your on
call for a different job is the one lie that will help rather then hurt .Or change carreers if you cant protect them !
why is it always the father's fault??? i know a lot of single mothers who are doing okay without an spouse and they have a jobAlexis696969 said:
but back to the main question: if she finds a lot of cash in your purse is it because she is going through it? if she is you need to talk to her about it and start depositing your money at an ATM on your way back from "work"
as for what to tell her..........that is a tough one a friend of mine used to tell her kid (and husband) that she was a PT hostess at a restaurant in Oakville and that sometimes she needed to fill for a couple girls waitresing and that is why she never had steady work hours.....
she got away with it for a year until she decided to call it quits
IMO, hiding something this key to who you are from your child will do far more harm than telling them. When you are secretive the child makes things up and imagines things far worse that 'her Mother is a ho'. i.e. my mother does not love me and is ducking out.
And I do understand that this may not be the easiest thing to tell your child. One thing to look at is your own deeper feelings about this lifestyle. I find that the negative things I imagine others might think of me are often my own hidden beliefs about myself.
In any case-good luck
And I do understand that this may not be the easiest thing to tell your child. One thing to look at is your own deeper feelings about this lifestyle. I find that the negative things I imagine others might think of me are often my own hidden beliefs about myself.
In any case-good luck
Fabulous said:
When you give a dance you have to pay the band. You need to decide what is more important. IE: your pride versuses truth. Sooner or later the question comes up. Handle it with honesty and let the chips fall where they may. After all this comes as no suprise to you.
Any parent that is in this business should be prepared to answer a childs question about what they do for a living. I do not agree with telling them that you do this. An adult is more capable with coming up with a believable lie.
What would a child tell thier friends if thier friends asked what does your mother do for a living?
In my opinion this is where you should be creative and come up with a believable lie ie... you host parties/catering business delivering foods to clients for a company, occasionally rush out and say that the wedding party is now half an hour ahead of schedule I have to go get the food asap and get it to the wedding hall etc... luckily lots of parties do take place in the late evenings.
Plus if you said you were like a manager and inspected the food before delivering it and made sure packaging and everything was A OK when the boss was not around would only make it more believable you made pretty good money, you could even say you get paid the gas etc... You could then if a shorter trip then just run out and say you have to over see an order that is scheduled for the next night and that you will not be long. If you get really busy say the boss is on holidays. If you want to go a step further make a folder on your desk top with a bogus company name only and put fake orders inside of it fake costs and fake delivery dates and locations to be delivered to. This could be a great reason to keep them off of your PC because then you can say that information on your PC is very important.
Just an idea but only you will know if this idea would work for you or not.
What would a child tell thier friends if thier friends asked what does your mother do for a living?
In my opinion this is where you should be creative and come up with a believable lie ie... you host parties/catering business delivering foods to clients for a company, occasionally rush out and say that the wedding party is now half an hour ahead of schedule I have to go get the food asap and get it to the wedding hall etc... luckily lots of parties do take place in the late evenings.
Plus if you said you were like a manager and inspected the food before delivering it and made sure packaging and everything was A OK when the boss was not around would only make it more believable you made pretty good money, you could even say you get paid the gas etc... You could then if a shorter trip then just run out and say you have to over see an order that is scheduled for the next night and that you will not be long. If you get really busy say the boss is on holidays. If you want to go a step further make a folder on your desk top with a bogus company name only and put fake orders inside of it fake costs and fake delivery dates and locations to be delivered to. This could be a great reason to keep them off of your PC because then you can say that information on your PC is very important.
Just an idea but only you will know if this idea would work for you or not.
I think your daughters main problem might be that she is becoming confused watching her obviously unintelligent mother survive and somehow cannot reconcile the comfortable lifestyle her mom is leading with the pattern she is living. So tell her the truth. You work on call as an escort. As for what goes on, you are paid for your time to be a hostess for people too busy to find dates or significant others. As for what you actually do on these dates, -- pick a few grownup things she would find boring. Do any of your dates ever engage in political discussions? Any of them ever ask you to dine or dance with them? Disclose that and leave the rest out. If she comes right out and asks if you sell sex just look her in the eye and tell her you find the question inappropriate and that you would never do anything illegal. More or less she will get the point that you do grownup stuff she would find boring.Fabulous said:
And by the way, I also want to ask why are you blaming her father? Government (or as you put it Governtment) does not pursue fathers. They pursue parents who do not live up to their responsibility. Myself, I am a single parent of a teenage daughter who has been abandoned by her mother. Seems my daughter came to a point in her life at age 10 where she realized that she need not continue taking verbal and physical abuse from her step dad just because he pays all of moms bills. Moms side of the argument is that she does not want to end up in a roach filled apartment -- which is inevitably where she sees herself if she has to support herself. So she opts for a spouse who abuses her kids, and abandonment of her daughter who opposes her spouse. For Mom's part she does not send money, nor does she even invite her daughter for visits. Moms can be, and usually are, the real deadbeats in most divorces. Using the law as a weapon rather than working out fair and equitable arrangements that allow their child real access to the emotional, physical, and mental support of both parents. Why? Because the law says they can. Often the law is unethical but it doesn't hold a candle to an angry vengeful mom. Legislators will wait another generation, and like other forms of discrimination, will probably offer a lame posthumous apology to all the men, whose lives they ruined. In the mean time the language of your complaint will prevail as people with limited ability and intelligence like youself need scapegoats.
People like you will continue to blame fathers for the problems they create for themselves. For my part I breed, I feed. Maybe your father didn't, so here you are crying about bad daddies as a supposed adult. So be one and tell your daughter what you do. Stop lying to her now and maybe she will extend you some trust when it counts.
BTW - what in the world does "psychastically speaking" mean?
yoniluvrca said:
Ducking out for an hour can be lots of jobs on call as in personal support workers that work 24 hours a day assisting the needy .
If you are suggesting a escort tells her child .........then i suggest you Johns tell l your
wife/girlfriend your children that you pay for sex - and they should know your
spending habits also on the hobby and why you bitch about money ...... since you suggest how
Honesty is the
best policy and the negative things you imagine are what
others might think of you are often your own hidden beliefs about yourself
.. or tell your child if your a pimp
Good luck to you
~~~~~I hope this advice seems as retarded as the advice that you just gave -~~~~~~~~
oh and should you tell the kids you do drugs your a theif or your a a con -
THIS IS THE BIGGEST FARCE IVE SEEN ON HERE YET !
Stacey thanks for being you
WhaWhaWha said:
Let's not forget that the children that usually achieve more in school and through out life are the children of parents that are good role models. A parent that has a diploma hanging on the wall that they are proud of gives a child a sence that achieving is a good thing to do and they usually accomplish more. I see no problem in a lie if it is what I call a white lie and it does not harm anyone. A white lie is one that is meant to protect others a black lie is one in which harms others. I also do not recommend constantly lying to your child you do want the trust and the friendship and your child to be honest with you as well. If you are honest with your child 99% of the time and you tell them you are working something else other than what you do there will be no reason for them not to believe you. If your children are proud of you they will only be more proud of themselves.
Anyhow, that is my feelings on the issue.
I also trust any parent that truly loves thier children will do what they feel in thier hearts is best for thier child. Whether that be to tell thier child or not. We are all human living a different life our homes and our circumstances are all different. We each face different problems day after day. We each have a different train of thought. Each child also has his/her own personality. The bottom line is be the best parent you can be in your own circumstance and be there for your child. But I also think that if a child finds out they may or may not tell you dependant on how the relationship is that it bothers them, but it may or may not change thier behaviour. But none the less keep the lines of communication open.
I do not believe there is any perfect parent. We are all human after all and we all make mistakes in life. Just remember one word "LOVE"
As they say, it conquers all.
Anyhow, that is my feelings on the issue.
I also trust any parent that truly loves thier children will do what they feel in thier hearts is best for thier child. Whether that be to tell thier child or not. We are all human living a different life our homes and our circumstances are all different. We each face different problems day after day. We each have a different train of thought. Each child also has his/her own personality. The bottom line is be the best parent you can be in your own circumstance and be there for your child. But I also think that if a child finds out they may or may not tell you dependant on how the relationship is that it bothers them, but it may or may not change thier behaviour. But none the less keep the lines of communication open.
I do not believe there is any perfect parent. We are all human after all and we all make mistakes in life. Just remember one word "LOVE"
As they say, it conquers all.
What I call the occupation is not the issue here - ho, prostitute, escort, courtesan, companion...sex for cash, whatever you name it, it's all the same. Please don't highjack the thread just so you can tell me how to spell.
Father and child support, also NOT an issue here. Lets just say we live well and our relationship is very open about everything, except for this. We've never lived the SQUARE life sort of speak. Friends and acquaintances could be a give away as well, and I have a funny feeling she may already have a pretty good idea as to what's going on. She is in high school and it seems these teens talk about everything.
Misty you are pretty much right on point, that's her attitude up to now, as long as she is well taken care of, can go to the movies, shopping with her friends, it's all good, lol, no questions asked, just 'thanks mom'. But now that she is shopping for herself and knows the amounts for bills and such, she is realizing, mom is making some good cash. When I go out all she wants to know is what time I'll be back. But I know she is curious and soon I will have to divulge some parts of the business to her. I don't want her feeling foolish. This is not something I want confirmed by other sources. But on the other hand, she may feel embarrassed that her mom is doing that. Plus if I unload that onto her, I would not want her to share that info with her friends. Meaning I'd be asking her to keep a secret. It's complicated. Perhaps I am just fooling myself and she knows what’s what.
I tried to be creative in the cover up department for the last couple of years and I feel that all I've been doing is showing her how to create a really good lie.
While I enjoy my work, for the freedom of time, independence and lifestyle it provides, I won't tell my daughter I am proud of it. But I am going to keep on working and provide her with a better education. I don't know how intelligence came into this. You guys are hanging out on an escort board, not an engineering board. So what are you saying; about yourself? lol Getting out of the business and sending us to the poorhouse is not an option, but what a lovely thought.
Anyway I just wanted to get some feedback regarding this topic and to find out how other courtesans ;-) handled the situation. Thanks
Father and child support, also NOT an issue here. Lets just say we live well and our relationship is very open about everything, except for this. We've never lived the SQUARE life sort of speak. Friends and acquaintances could be a give away as well, and I have a funny feeling she may already have a pretty good idea as to what's going on. She is in high school and it seems these teens talk about everything.
Misty you are pretty much right on point, that's her attitude up to now, as long as she is well taken care of, can go to the movies, shopping with her friends, it's all good, lol, no questions asked, just 'thanks mom'. But now that she is shopping for herself and knows the amounts for bills and such, she is realizing, mom is making some good cash. When I go out all she wants to know is what time I'll be back. But I know she is curious and soon I will have to divulge some parts of the business to her. I don't want her feeling foolish. This is not something I want confirmed by other sources. But on the other hand, she may feel embarrassed that her mom is doing that. Plus if I unload that onto her, I would not want her to share that info with her friends. Meaning I'd be asking her to keep a secret. It's complicated. Perhaps I am just fooling myself and she knows what’s what.
I tried to be creative in the cover up department for the last couple of years and I feel that all I've been doing is showing her how to create a really good lie.
While I enjoy my work, for the freedom of time, independence and lifestyle it provides, I won't tell my daughter I am proud of it. But I am going to keep on working and provide her with a better education. I don't know how intelligence came into this. You guys are hanging out on an escort board, not an engineering board. So what are you saying; about yourself? lol Getting out of the business and sending us to the poorhouse is not an option, but what a lovely thought.
Anyway I just wanted to get some feedback regarding this topic and to find out how other courtesans ;-) handled the situation. Thanks
If your going to be Brutally honest to what really goes on with your title
Then i suggest you educate her to know the real facts so they dont see the money
presents and glam stories that are not unfortunately what its all about ........Chidren need
advocates and dont have to be forced to witness moms choices of justification of making fast
.She will love what you give her but she will not want her mother putting herself at risk everyday
to buy a new pair of jeans by being in vulnerable situations daily with strangers .Everytime she
reads in the paper about sex traders abused or raped or murdered .She wont be assured her
mom is in the highest sexual assault risk job in the world .Is that fair for a kid ?My thoughts are
that at first she will want to believe your glam stories and she might even want to try it
behind your back since you paint such a rosy pic being that role model .Such an innocent gal will
find out the hard way you really did lie after all .She may never understand .you if it gets that far for her !..........i think kids
are lot more intelligent then adults ...........When all you had to do was give one little white lie
until you get more experince and education about your job If she was an adult and didnt have
any infulence of your modeling and said shes doing this job then im sure you would want her
safe as she would you .....some moms that push kids to be involved in the business should
loose there kids - its sick what people do for money
http://www.prostitutionresearch.com/factsheet.html
Then i suggest you educate her to know the real facts so they dont see the money
presents and glam stories that are not unfortunately what its all about ........Chidren need
advocates and dont have to be forced to witness moms choices of justification of making fast
.She will love what you give her but she will not want her mother putting herself at risk everyday
to buy a new pair of jeans by being in vulnerable situations daily with strangers .Everytime she
reads in the paper about sex traders abused or raped or murdered .She wont be assured her
mom is in the highest sexual assault risk job in the world .Is that fair for a kid ?My thoughts are
that at first she will want to believe your glam stories and she might even want to try it
behind your back since you paint such a rosy pic being that role model .Such an innocent gal will
find out the hard way you really did lie after all .She may never understand .you if it gets that far for her !..........i think kids
are lot more intelligent then adults ...........When all you had to do was give one little white lie
until you get more experince and education about your job If she was an adult and didnt have
any infulence of your modeling and said shes doing this job then im sure you would want her
safe as she would you .....some moms that push kids to be involved in the business should
loose there kids - its sick what people do for money
http://www.prostitutionresearch.com/factsheet.html
You and I both know Sheik some of these woman are in denial thinking its nothing but a rose garden without any pricks
