Wedding gifts?

[Mongrel4u]

I'm talking about the cost of your plate at the reception.. not the whole kit and koboodle. Perhaps if you count all the festivities that take place over the week and all the other garbage to would add up to 200+. But when guests talk about the cost to cover they are referring to the cost of the plate... and sorry but no reasonable plate is costing 200+...it wouldn't even cost that much at places the likes of the Boulevard Club.

Guests are only supposed to cover their plate at the reception plus a little extra... they are not expected to pay for the DJ, Tux, Limo....the entire wedding? I dont think so. Thats bullshit (and very tacky) the bride and groom invite the guests because they want them to celebrate with them.. not capitalize off of them; but if thats the view they have for throwing this big extravagant wedding then they are screwed in the head.

 

[Mongrel4u]

Mongrel... if you had attended any of my wedding, I'm sure you would have been an expense instead of a benificial guest (freeloader kinda comes to mind).

Well Bass.. I guess thats the difference between us. I dont measure my family and friends by a dollar value nor do I consider them an expense if I am not making money off of them.

Anybody I invite to my wedding is there because I want them to celebrate with me... not so that I can capitalize off of them and I sure as hell wouldnt expect them to pay for my tux and $4000 photographer (jeezus.. it should be a celebration not a business venture). If I get a present from them... great.. if its less than the cost (or even nothing), thats fine too (I'm sure there is a good reason whatever it is); I cared enough about them to have them share a special day with me and all I care is that they are there.. not their money.

and If I am relying on the monetary presents to be able to afford the wedding then I wouldnt throw something so big. Whatever I pay for the wedding is money that I feel comfortable not recapturing given the occasion.

 

[jazzpig]

I gave my friends a cock ring and an anal plug. I laughed my ass off as they were opening it in front of their parents and family.

Then I gave an envelope of cash.

I'll wager a hefty amount they weren't Italian.
Youl'd be sleeping with the fishes my friend!

Oh, BTW, I vote for cash. You can't go wrong.

 

[a 1 player]

Well Bass.. I guess thats the difference between us. I dont measure my family and friends by a dollar value nor do I consider them an expense if I am not making money off of them.

Anybody I invite to my wedding is there because I want them to celebrate with me... not so that I can capitalize off of them and I sure as hell wouldnt expect them to pay for my tux and $4000 photographer (jeezus.. it should be a celebration not a business venture). If I get a present from them... great.. if its less than the cost (or even nothing), thats fine too (I'm sure there is a good reason whatever it is); I cared enough about them to have them share a special day with me and all I care is that they are there.. not their money.

and If I am relying on the monetary presents to be able to afford the wedding then I wouldnt throw something so big. Whatever I pay for the wedding is money that I feel comfortable not recapturing given the occasion.

I agree totally. Well said.

 

[elmufdvr]

money.. i am getting married this year and we want cash... stuff you embroidered bull crap... cash is the way to go... 100 - 200 per person is good...consider you will be having a great evening.. a hour with one of Toronto's fine sp is about that cost..so think of that when you count out the money for that envelope. best wishes all.....

 

[james t kirk]

I agree cash.

An interesting cultural note.

My ex was off the boat from Scotland. (Yes, she was CHEAP, but on the flip side, we never argued about money and the other side of the coin is a far more common far worse problem.)

Anyway, her brother was getting married in the UK. I left the gift giving up to her. I told her, you do whatever you feel is appropriate. (She had recently given me EXTREME shit for giving a close family friend $400.00 for her wedding - keeping in mind this was like 1998 or so.)

So we go to the UK, do you know what she gave her brother for a wedding gift?

Wait for it.....

Wind chimes.

No word of a lie.

I told her that we had to slip him at least a couple hundred but she went nuts. (She hated her brother anyway.)

I was EMBARASSED beyond words.

Anyway, they opened their gifts the day after the wedding at the couple's house.

Well fuck me silly if they didn't get fuck all from everyone.

One couple gave them a matching set of coffee mugs. Another couple gave them dish towels.

They were "oh, how lovely, thank you very much"

To this day, I don't know if they were bullshitting in their pleasant reaction or not. But one thing was CLEAR - that wedding wasn't about making cash.

Contrast that to my Croatian friend here who got married in the early 90's. His wedding was sickening to watch. They had a money shower for her, an expensive stag for him, and the wedding was HUGE. I heard a rumour that they booked a hall about 45 minutes out of town so as to minimize the amount of booze that would be consumed. The logic was that the old DP's would sooner die than rent a room close by because they were only 45 minutes from home, therefore, they couldn't drink so much because they had to drive home.

He actually had a spread sheet of who gave what amount.

Fucking hell.

 

[The Bandit]

He actually had a spread sheet of who gave what amount.

That's nasty...or was it so they could remember to give the same in return?

 

[jazzpig]

That's nasty...or was it so they could remember to give the same in return?

That's what it is.

 

[james t kirk]

That's nasty...or was it so they could remember to give the same in return?

Both accounting purposes and who gave what.

They scored large on that wedding.

 

[pizzaboo]

Cash is always good and considered very appropriate these days . If you can afford it give enough to cover the costs of your attending the wedding if not give what you can afford . For my family weddings , if it matches where they will live , my brother and I give a heavy duty barbecue with extra tank etc . When this gift is duplicated , which is rare , ours is always the one they keep and use.

Boo