I agree - very few parents would be proud. Many would disown if they knew because they are old-school. I think there's a number of parents who accept it though because no matter what, it's still their kid and since you can't control her, you hope for the best and encourage her to be safe. There are pornstars who say their parents are proud but I think in those cases, the parent eventually accepted the career choice and the "pride" has more to do with success. I'm sure Jenna Jameson's parents at some point have come to realize their daughter has done exceptionally well in the industry.
Most parents want their child to have success, be safe, and do better than the parents. Can't think of too many parents who when asked advised a person to become a SW. No matter what they think of the stigma, it's always going to be considered unsafe for a number of reasons.
I think you can publish anonymously (some writers have pen names) but it's kind of hard to promote the book when you can't show your face because you wish to remain anonymous. May as well publish it with your real name and face as people will eventually figure it out when you promote it.