:-) Time for a good chuckle, this might work! Got something you'd like to post?
- Thread starter lynn_ha
- Start date
Time for a good chuckle & this should help make your day even better!
Trump was touring the countryside in his chauffeur-driven limo, suddenly, a donkey jumps out onto the road, and they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Trump said to the chauffeur: '’You get out and check, you were driving’’, the chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. 'You were driving, go and tell the farmer', said Trump. Hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face. 'My god, what happened to you?' asks Trump
The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of whiskey, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter took me upstairs and made love to me.' 'What on earth did you say to them?' asks Trump. I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them, I'm Trump's chauffeur and I've just killed the jackass.
The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of whiskey, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter took me upstairs and made love to me.' 'What on earth did you say to them?' asks Trump. I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them, I'm Trump's chauffeur and I've just killed the jackass.
Ceiling cat once read that most accidents happen within a kilometre from home, so he moved.
When Ceiling cats sister had her first child, he was so anxious about whether it was going to be a boy or a girl, then he would know if he was going to be an aunt or an uncle.
Ceiling cat tried building a shed one time, he realized he needed some nails so he went to the hardware store. The guy there asked him how long he he nèeded them, he said he would need them quite a while as he was building a shed.
When Ceiling cats sister had her first child, he was so anxious about whether it was going to be a boy or a girl, then he would know if he was going to be an aunt or an uncle.
Ceiling cat tried building a shed one time, he realized he needed some nails so he went to the hardware store. The guy there asked him how long he he nèeded them, he said he would need them quite a while as he was building a shed.
Who is Jack Schitt?
A little humor to help in our troubled times.
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of
Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious coupleproduced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were
inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happensbrothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH.
REMEMBER: IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU MIGHT POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO FULLA SCHITT
A little humor to help in our troubled times.
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of
Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious coupleproduced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were
inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happensbrothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH.
REMEMBER: IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU MIGHT POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO FULLA SCHITT
Two guys are walking through the park. They see a dog sitting there licking himself. One guy says "wish I could do that" the other guy says "I'd pet him first if I were you"
