There must be a better way

[daboy]

I spent today and part of yesterday with a friend dying in the hospital.He is full of cancer and was in great pain.

After multiple shots of dilaudid he finally rested

Now he is bed, gasping for breath.possibly aware of anything around him, and very much alive.

He is off IV and food so it is a matter of time ..so this just becomes a waiting game.

We ( MD and family and friends) know it is just a matter of a day or 2 maybe 3 that he has to lay in bed and gasp for air. His eyes are open staring in space--no response to anyone.

The plan is to prevent pain and allow as much dignity as possible.

I see it as a legal need to allow someone to expire via nature, even if they have to do so over 3 terrible days or more.



There must be a better way

 

[tboy]

There is a better way.

Ask your friends family to discuss morphine with your friend's doctor. If worded correctly many doctors will use morphine as a means to "put an end to his pain".

Not to be crass about it, but if you've ever seen the movie "saving private ryan" where giovanni ribisi's character get's hit in the liver after they attacked the machine gun emplacement. Since he was the medic the other's didn't know what to do....after finding out he was hit bad, they asked him what to do...he said "a little more morphine...."

 

[sorely]

Sorry Daboy. I didn't realize that you had had such a bad a day !

Does your friend have a living will that expresses his last wishes?

Take care.

 

[daboy]

Yes

The will says no special efforts will be taken to prolong life. So the effect is ..just a wait for nature to say "this is enough."
My small mind says

IF we all know (family--md's) that the end is near, but can take a few days that wil add nothing to that persons life.That life as we know it is long over for that person and that the existance that is left is not what we would want for a loved one

That no one is travelling around the world to see that person for the last time

Can we not all agree to speed things up????

Sorry for such a down thread but I am sure we are all touched by this

I need to rant

Thanks

Daboy

 

[papasmerf]

May your friend find it a short trail for him. May you and his family find taking this journey with him makes his passing easier for both he and you. I appluad you for being there.

 

[sorely]

"Near" time is a relative phrase. He made his wishes known. No heroics. Let time take its course. It's the least we can do after having a good life. Others will have time to think about their own future and make any necessary adjustments to their wishes.

All will be well.

It always is over time.

 

[Perry Mason]

My sympathies...

Right now, you have one of the most difficult and painful jobs in life: to watch someone you care for, die...

Perry

 

[sorely]

Just remember: " Life is terminal." It's a terrible and predictable disease.

 

[goodtime]

tboy, that's only in the movies. Not legal to terminate life in Canada. Even when a person is dying few MD worried about addiction of morphine, wtf?

Unfortunately, experience from family member and relatives. Not much to do except watch their every breath as they wither away. Unable to communicate but you see it in the eyes, "let me go". Came close to helping to end a life but they pass away while we wrestling with the idea and hope mircle would change destiny.

When someone is grave and terminate, there is only 'comfort care' and palliative care. Ensure medical stuff are clear about DNR orders, so not to inflict more suffering with heroic measures.

daboy, good for you being there for your friend. It's hard be strong.

 

[Bella6969]

It is so hard to watch someone die.
I went though it with my Mother in Law (ex now)
She and i were very close , we were lucky enough that
we could afford all her care at home in the end (Pancreatic Cancer)
but to see the pain she was in destoryed me ....

My Condolences to you and the Family

 

[booboobear]

I spent today and part of yesterday with a friend dying in the hospital.He is full of cancer and was in great pain.


We ( MD and family and friends) know it is just a matter of a day or 2 maybe 3 that he has to lay in bed and gasp for air. His eyes are open staring in space--no response to anyone.




There must be a better way

It must be hard for you , I wish you strength . Maybe when the time is closer the Dr will help. I know if it was someone I know or my family I don't think I could stand more than 3 days of their suffering , actually I would suffer with them because I would think day and night of what they meant to me.

 

[A-ROD]

Sorry daboy, keep your chin up!
I wen't through the same thing. There were times when I thought to myself that we treat animals better, as we would put down a sick pet so that it would not suffer.
I hope for everyones sake that this is over soon

 

[thegame2000ca]

I know the feeling.

I spent today and part of yesterday with a friend dying in the hospital.He is full of cancer and was in great pain.

After multiple shots of dilaudid he finally rested

Now he is bed, gasping for breath.possibly aware of anything around him, and very much alive.

He is off IV and food so it is a matter of time ..so this just becomes a waiting game.

We ( MD and family and friends) know it is just a matter of a day or 2 maybe 3 that he has to lay in bed and gasp for air. His eyes are open staring in space--no response to anyone.

The plan is to prevent pain and allow as much dignity as possible.

I see it as a legal need to allow someone to expire via nature, even if they have to do so over 3 terrible days or more.



There must be a better way

It's been 12 years now when I lost my mother to a blood clod in her brain (Brain aneurism). She was i in deep coma and the doctors said that there was nothing the can do. They didn't know if she was going to come out of it or not. I would be in the hospital for days, when I had to make the toughest decision in my life. She had all these tubes attached to her including a respirator. The doctors told me that if she did come out of it their would be brain damage, and that she would not be the same. I couldn't see her suffer like that, so I had to made that hard decision to let her go. That was really hard for me to deal with, but I know she would want it that way. So I hope for the best for you, your friend, and his family.