My lady asked, "What, in your opinion, are the TEN BEST THINGS I do with my BREASTS?"
"Do you mean normally, or special occasions?"
"Either. Both."
"OK. Here goes with the first one.
"I'm lying on my back. You lean over me, so your breasts rest on my chest. You run your breasts lightly all over my body, including my arms and legs -- at first just barely touching, then letting more of the weight of the breast rest on me."
"Yes, that's good. I love to feel my breast conforming itself to the different shapes of you, as I move over the various areas of your body.
"What's the next one?"
"We're out for a stroll together. Clothed, of course. Your hand is tucked into my elbow. You put your other hand on my forearm. Nothing that an onlooker would take exception to. But as we walk along, I feel you drawing my arm in towards your body. I feel you deliberately pressing my arm against the side of your breast. We walk along like that, causing my arm to move with every step, in the most exquisite manner, against the swell of your breast. That has to be the sexiest thing any woman can do."
"What do you mean, any woman? We're talking about what I do!"
"That came out wrong. What I meant to say was, when it comes to the clothed outdoor state, that is the very sexiest thing you do."
"I love to feel your arm pressing against my breast, when we're walking. I love sending you the message that my tits are for us to share, at any time of the day or night.
"Go on."
"I would have to say that one item in the top ten would be when you kneel up on the bed, and you do your breast display show. You arch your back, making your breasts jut out, running your hands over your breasts, cupping them in your hands, and offering them to me."
"I love to put on a show for you. Spreading my shoulders and arms high and wide, and stretching my breasts out. I love having breasts, and having smooth cool skin, and curvaceous hips and waist, and a shapely golden body. I love the joy of simply being a healthy sexy woman. I love to throw my head back, and thrust my chest out for you. I love to spread my body wide open to you. I love to make a total gift of my bare breasts and my nude body to you."
"We've often remarked and marvelled at the apparent electrical connection between your bare tits and my erect penis."
"I guess I have this fantasy of showing off my nude body. It's a big turn-on. I want to show the world how ready I am for sex -- with you. I'd never dream of doing it in public. Promise me, love, you'll never send me out to work as a stripper."
"Hey. No promises."
"Although I guess I'm safe now, at my age.
"Next?"
"I'm lying on my back, you're kneeling between my legs, facing me. You lean forwards so your breasts are touching my chest. You slowly wipe your breasts down my chest and stomach. You run your breast down the side of my penis, brushing lightly over my groin area, then my balls. You continue on down until your breast falls between my legs. Then back up, and you do the same with your other breast down my other groin and ball. Then - your masterpiece - both tits together, one either side of my penis, letting each breast in turn fall down between my legs."
"I love doing that. And I know how important it is, that my first breast falls down between your legs, before my other breast clears your left ball."
"When we're counting the sexiest thing you do with your breasts, the tits on balls thing has to be the numero uno.
"How am I doing?"
"What do you mean - how am I doing? You've only mentioned four things."
"I need a different perspective. Why don't you, as the owner of the assets, tell me your opinion on the best things a girl can do with her breasts."
"All right.
"I love it when we're naked in bed, and we're talking about how much we love sex and making love and sharing our bodies. That's when I have the strongest feeling that my breasts are jointly-owned. They're our breasts -- I'm just minding them for us, until the next time we need them."
"I think you know I feel that way about our balls and penis. I'm just keeping them in top working order, until we need them. I love it when we slide our penis into our vagina."
"You'd better believe I do too, love. But we were talking about breasts."
"So we're lying in bed, and you want our breasts to feel nurtured?"
"They love it so much when they know they're being talked about. They love to be touched and fondled and stroked and squeezed and nuzzled and kissed and licked and sucked. They want you to bury your face between them, and they want me to hug you to me.
"Another thing I love to do. I hold my breast in my hands, and I wipe the nipple over the knob-end of our penis. I like to carefully slide my nipple along the little opening in the end. I'm talking precision placement of the nipple, by guiding my breast in my hands Then I draw my nipple along the length of the shaft, then lingering over your balls, and down the ridge between your balls. Then slowly back up to the knob-end, maintaining the same gentle pressure of my nipple against the hard penis. I love to feel the soft breast in my hands, and the breast itself loves to feel itself next to the hardness of your penis."
"Here's another thing you do with your breasts that has to be in the top ten. When I'm lying face down, and you use your breast like a paintbrush, brushing the nipples over my back and bottom."
"Oh yes. I hold the nipple of my breast like a pencil, and trace out letters on your back, and you have to guess the word. It's strange, but it feels much more natural for me to do this with my right breast - trying to do nipple-writing with my left breast is like holding a pen with the wrong hand."
"Another strange thing is that, when we play that game, the easiest word for me to interpret is the word TIT."
"Fancy!"
"These have all been things you do often. Let's move on to some of the things you reserve for special occasions."
"You must mean the strip-tease and lap-dance episodes."
"I'm thinking about the very first time you did that. The first time the difference was brought home to me, between the show a professional stripper puts on in a club - not that there's anything wrong with that - and the personal loving strip show you give me."
"Yes, that first time -- do you remember the music I danced to?"
"How could I not? It was the Andante from Mozart's 21st piano concerto."
"You know, maybe the strip show doesn't really count as a tits thing, specifically. As I recall, I showed you my whole body - eventually."
"So we're not counting that one?"
"We can dream."
"This one is a repeated special. I'm sitting at the table, attending to this and that, and you come up behind me. You start massaging my neck and shoulders -- I wonder if you think I like that? I wonder if this will be one of your special occasions. You ease my head back against your breasts. That's when I realise you're topless, and you're cushioning my head against your bare tits. Using your breasts as a cushion or pillow for my head - that has to be in the top ten."
"This is another one in the one-off-special category. It was a few years ago. In the Blacksmith's restaurant. Plenty of diners and wait staff in attendance. You were wearing a business suit, but I knew you'd got nothing on under the jacket. You're across the table from me, facing the wall. We're chatting normally. Casually, you glance round the room, then turn back. You look right at me, and slowly unbutton the jacket. This wasn't a quick flash, like you'd expect an amateur to do. What you did was what might be expected from a top professional breast display expert, who's devoted much practice to the activity. You gradually increased the viewing area, until both breasts were fully revealed, complete in their magnificent glory. At last, I was able to draw breath. Not a word spoken. Then, you arched your back - just slightly -- but your message of sexual promise was unmistakable. I think I passed out at that point. When I woke up, you'd closed the jacket, and were conversing normally. I myself - deservedly famous as I am for my iron self-control - also carried on as normal. It was a marvellous spontaneous one-off gesture of affection. I was amazed you had the balls to do something like that in a public places."
"I can see how something like that would be scorched into your memory. However, I myself - deservedly famous as I am for my complete absence of balls - would never do that. It must have been one of your other women.
"So, how am I doing now?"
"I've lost count."
"Do you mean normally, or special occasions?"
"Either. Both."
"OK. Here goes with the first one.
"I'm lying on my back. You lean over me, so your breasts rest on my chest. You run your breasts lightly all over my body, including my arms and legs -- at first just barely touching, then letting more of the weight of the breast rest on me."
"Yes, that's good. I love to feel my breast conforming itself to the different shapes of you, as I move over the various areas of your body.
"What's the next one?"
"We're out for a stroll together. Clothed, of course. Your hand is tucked into my elbow. You put your other hand on my forearm. Nothing that an onlooker would take exception to. But as we walk along, I feel you drawing my arm in towards your body. I feel you deliberately pressing my arm against the side of your breast. We walk along like that, causing my arm to move with every step, in the most exquisite manner, against the swell of your breast. That has to be the sexiest thing any woman can do."
"What do you mean, any woman? We're talking about what I do!"
"That came out wrong. What I meant to say was, when it comes to the clothed outdoor state, that is the very sexiest thing you do."
"I love to feel your arm pressing against my breast, when we're walking. I love sending you the message that my tits are for us to share, at any time of the day or night.
"Go on."
"I would have to say that one item in the top ten would be when you kneel up on the bed, and you do your breast display show. You arch your back, making your breasts jut out, running your hands over your breasts, cupping them in your hands, and offering them to me."
"I love to put on a show for you. Spreading my shoulders and arms high and wide, and stretching my breasts out. I love having breasts, and having smooth cool skin, and curvaceous hips and waist, and a shapely golden body. I love the joy of simply being a healthy sexy woman. I love to throw my head back, and thrust my chest out for you. I love to spread my body wide open to you. I love to make a total gift of my bare breasts and my nude body to you."
"We've often remarked and marvelled at the apparent electrical connection between your bare tits and my erect penis."
"I guess I have this fantasy of showing off my nude body. It's a big turn-on. I want to show the world how ready I am for sex -- with you. I'd never dream of doing it in public. Promise me, love, you'll never send me out to work as a stripper."
"Hey. No promises."
"Although I guess I'm safe now, at my age.
"Next?"
"I'm lying on my back, you're kneeling between my legs, facing me. You lean forwards so your breasts are touching my chest. You slowly wipe your breasts down my chest and stomach. You run your breast down the side of my penis, brushing lightly over my groin area, then my balls. You continue on down until your breast falls between my legs. Then back up, and you do the same with your other breast down my other groin and ball. Then - your masterpiece - both tits together, one either side of my penis, letting each breast in turn fall down between my legs."
"I love doing that. And I know how important it is, that my first breast falls down between your legs, before my other breast clears your left ball."
"When we're counting the sexiest thing you do with your breasts, the tits on balls thing has to be the numero uno.
"How am I doing?"
"What do you mean - how am I doing? You've only mentioned four things."
"I need a different perspective. Why don't you, as the owner of the assets, tell me your opinion on the best things a girl can do with her breasts."
"All right.
"I love it when we're naked in bed, and we're talking about how much we love sex and making love and sharing our bodies. That's when I have the strongest feeling that my breasts are jointly-owned. They're our breasts -- I'm just minding them for us, until the next time we need them."
"I think you know I feel that way about our balls and penis. I'm just keeping them in top working order, until we need them. I love it when we slide our penis into our vagina."
"You'd better believe I do too, love. But we were talking about breasts."
"So we're lying in bed, and you want our breasts to feel nurtured?"
"They love it so much when they know they're being talked about. They love to be touched and fondled and stroked and squeezed and nuzzled and kissed and licked and sucked. They want you to bury your face between them, and they want me to hug you to me.
"Another thing I love to do. I hold my breast in my hands, and I wipe the nipple over the knob-end of our penis. I like to carefully slide my nipple along the little opening in the end. I'm talking precision placement of the nipple, by guiding my breast in my hands Then I draw my nipple along the length of the shaft, then lingering over your balls, and down the ridge between your balls. Then slowly back up to the knob-end, maintaining the same gentle pressure of my nipple against the hard penis. I love to feel the soft breast in my hands, and the breast itself loves to feel itself next to the hardness of your penis."
"Here's another thing you do with your breasts that has to be in the top ten. When I'm lying face down, and you use your breast like a paintbrush, brushing the nipples over my back and bottom."
"Oh yes. I hold the nipple of my breast like a pencil, and trace out letters on your back, and you have to guess the word. It's strange, but it feels much more natural for me to do this with my right breast - trying to do nipple-writing with my left breast is like holding a pen with the wrong hand."
"Another strange thing is that, when we play that game, the easiest word for me to interpret is the word TIT."
"Fancy!"
"These have all been things you do often. Let's move on to some of the things you reserve for special occasions."
"You must mean the strip-tease and lap-dance episodes."
"I'm thinking about the very first time you did that. The first time the difference was brought home to me, between the show a professional stripper puts on in a club - not that there's anything wrong with that - and the personal loving strip show you give me."
"Yes, that first time -- do you remember the music I danced to?"
"How could I not? It was the Andante from Mozart's 21st piano concerto."
"You know, maybe the strip show doesn't really count as a tits thing, specifically. As I recall, I showed you my whole body - eventually."
"So we're not counting that one?"
"We can dream."
"This one is a repeated special. I'm sitting at the table, attending to this and that, and you come up behind me. You start massaging my neck and shoulders -- I wonder if you think I like that? I wonder if this will be one of your special occasions. You ease my head back against your breasts. That's when I realise you're topless, and you're cushioning my head against your bare tits. Using your breasts as a cushion or pillow for my head - that has to be in the top ten."
"This is another one in the one-off-special category. It was a few years ago. In the Blacksmith's restaurant. Plenty of diners and wait staff in attendance. You were wearing a business suit, but I knew you'd got nothing on under the jacket. You're across the table from me, facing the wall. We're chatting normally. Casually, you glance round the room, then turn back. You look right at me, and slowly unbutton the jacket. This wasn't a quick flash, like you'd expect an amateur to do. What you did was what might be expected from a top professional breast display expert, who's devoted much practice to the activity. You gradually increased the viewing area, until both breasts were fully revealed, complete in their magnificent glory. At last, I was able to draw breath. Not a word spoken. Then, you arched your back - just slightly -- but your message of sexual promise was unmistakable. I think I passed out at that point. When I woke up, you'd closed the jacket, and were conversing normally. I myself - deservedly famous as I am for my iron self-control - also carried on as normal. It was a marvellous spontaneous one-off gesture of affection. I was amazed you had the balls to do something like that in a public places."
"I can see how something like that would be scorched into your memory. However, I myself - deservedly famous as I am for my complete absence of balls - would never do that. It must have been one of your other women.
"So, how am I doing now?"
"I've lost count."