My favorite Looney Tunes Character has to be Foghorn Leghorn.
Here are some of his more famous quotes....I can actually remember seeing most of them.
That boy is about as sharp as a bowlin' ball."
"Son, I said Son..."
"Now don't set the world on fire."
"Nice boy, but he doesn't pay attention to a word you say."
"I say!, I say!, The boy is bozerk!!"
"Clunk enough people and we'll have a nation of lumpheads."
"Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice."
"That woman's as cold as a nudist on an iceberg."
"She reminds me of Paul Revere's ride - a little light in the belfry."
"Gal reminds me of the highway between Ft. Worth and Dallas - no curves."
"As bare as a cooch dancer's midriff."
"Hey boy, you cover about as much as a flapper's skirt in a high wind."
"She's tryin' to make a pantywaist out of that poor kid."
"That kid's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver."
"If kid don't stop talkin' so much he'll get his tongue sunburned."
"Well, barbeque my hamhocks!"
"That dog's as subtle as a hand grenade in a barrrel of oat meal."
"That boy's as strong as an ox, and just about as smart."
"Look sister, is any of this filtering through that little blue bonnet of yours?"
"You're doing a lot of choppin', but no chips are flyin'."
"I've got this boy as figgity as a bubble dancer with a slow leak."
"You look like two miles of bad road."
"That boy's just like a tattoo...gets under your skin."
"This is gonna cause more confusion than a mouse in a burlesque show!"
"I-I-I know what you're gonna say son. When two halves is gone there's nuthin' left - and you're right. It's a little ol' worm who wasn't there. Two nuthins is nuthin'. That's mathematics son. You can argue with me but you can't argue with figures. Two half nuthins is a whole nuthin'."
"Lookit here son, I say son, did ya see that hawk after those hens? He scared 'em! That Rhode Island Red turned white. Then blue. Rhode Island. Red, white, and blue. That's a joke, son. A flag waver."
"You're built too low. The fast ones go over your head. Ya got a hole in your glove. I keep pitchin' 'em and you keep missin' 'em. Ya gotta keep your eye on the ball. Eye. Ball. I almost had a gag, son. Joke, that is."
"Okay, I'll shut up. Some fellas have to keep their tongues flappin' but not me. I was brought up right. My pa used to tell me to shut up and I'd shut up. I wouldn't say nothin'. One time darn near starved to death. WOULDN'T TELL HIM I WAS HUNGRY!!"
"Fortunately, I keep my feathers numbered for just such an emergency!"
"Boy's like a dead horse -- got no get-up-and-go..."
"Pay attention, boy! I'm cuttin' but you're not bleedin'!"
"Mutts - ah say - mutts is nuts!"
"I don't think this kid's got all his marbles. Shakes his head when he means yes and nods when he means no."
"That boy's so dumb, he thinks a Mexican border pays rent!"
"I don't need your love to keep me warm, Widow Hen. I have my BANDAGES to keep me warm!"
"You've gotta be a magician to keep a kid's attention 'more than two minutes nowadays!"
"A sensitive mind won't stand being picked on."
"The dawg's busier than a centipede at a toe-counting contest."
"Hey Dawg! I've come to bury the hatchet! Ha, ha. Not in your pointed head, Boy. I've come to give a present!"
"The snow's so deep, the farmers have to jack up the cows so they can milk 'em!"
"Here, boy, I bought you this bowling ball. I also bought you this clock to tell you when it's time to bowl."
"That dawg is strictly G.I. -- Gibbering Idiot!"
"My foot's getting hotter than a sweat-band in a fireman's helmet."
"OH that woman Gotta mouth like an outboard moter, All the time putputputputputput!"
"That boy's as timid as a canary at a cat-show."
"I need, I say, I need a pointer, and that dog's got just the head for it. Pointed, that is."
"Go away, boy! Or I'll spank you where the feathers are thinnest."
"Boy's got a mouth like a cannon. Always shooting it off."
"Some like to bowl on the green. I'm gonna bowl on the white."
"What'ya doin' with a pump, boy? Pumpin' for oil? You're crazy, boy. There's no oil within 500 miles of here. Geology of the ground's all wrong. Even if there WAS oil you'd need a drill not a tire pump."
"Speakin' of figures. I put 2 and 2 together and come up with a 4-legged, smart alec mutt!"
"Smart boy, got a mind like a steel trap -- full of mice."
"I said, now I said, pay attention boy!"
"Well, a hog gravy and chitlins!"
"Y'know, I almost hated to spring one on that bonehead. Hey, I made a funny. Spring bone!"
"Punchy as a drill press."
"His muscles are as soggy as a used tea bag."
"Nutty as a fruitcake."
"Stand up son, you're falling all over yourself."
"It don't snow in the summertime. There's no 'r' in July."
"Are you lookin' for a husband? Well, you're goin' about it all wrong, girlie. You don't bat him on the bean with a rolling pin." (To audience) "That comes later."
"Now to slip one under ol' squarebritches, hee hee hee."
"My corn hurts. It must be gonna snow."
"Now what's that dog makin' all the hoop dee do about?"
"Now what's the big idea bashin' me in the bazooka thataway, boy?"
"Now that's no way for a kid to be wastin' his time, readin' that longhead gobbledygook."
"There's something, I say, there's something kinda yeeee about a kid that's never played baseball."
(Looking through a telescope) "I don't see no flying saucer. All I see is air with a hole around it."
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