Sure is hard....

[lusciouslin33]

...to stay strong when you're lonely and single.

I sometimes question my integrity in regards to dabbling in the industry.
I bemoan my single status and how it sucks to not have love in my life yet I relish in the knowledge that I am not accountable to anyone but myself.

There used to be a thread about dating an SP and all the ramifications of that however there wasn't much discussion about us hobby ho's.
Those of us that offer only minimal services, specialists so to speak, that only share or offer limited activities.
I'm lonely and even though I derive some emotional gratification from visitors', I'm feeling an urge to have more.
So, with that being said, where would an educated, hard working, intellectual knob gobbler find candidates?
I'm currently participating in some dating sites, I make an effort to go out, I'm in the gym four days a week, hell, I even write slack assed blurbs on slack sites (this one is exempt from the slack comment).
Someone point out the open minded guys!!!
I miss sincere intimacy.


post script..this is written during an especially vulnerable moment.

 

[stinkynuts]

Believe me, you are not alone. I am 32 years of age, and have not had a girlfriend. Mostly because I am a bit picky, but also because I haven't really met the right person.

Believe me, sooner or later you'll meet the right person. May I ask what is keeping you from meeting and dating women?

 

[bangcamaro]

This is just my opinion... agree with it or not...

Why does everyone feel they need to be with somebody else... a relationship is just a desire... not a need...
Your true relationships in your life are with family and friends... those begin from the beginning of your life to the end... and they are the truest...
An intimate relationship with somebody of the opposite sex is overrated.
Just look at the divorce rate, or average lifespan of dating relationships or those relationships based purely on looks or sex between people who really have nothing in common.

You're just feeling lonely... once you start dating someone, or get in a relationship, you'll realize why you were single in the first place. Too much drama, jealousy, dependance, restrictions, accountability, unnecessary responsibilities, etc.

 

[lusciouslin33]

Um

Believe me, you are not alone. I am 32 years of age, and have not had a girlfriend. Mostly because I am a bit picky, but also because I haven't really met the right person.

Believe me, sooner or later you'll meet the right person. May I ask what is keeping you from meeting and dating women?

Maybe because I"m a woman??!!
Not like anything's wrong with it, but I"m not gay.

 

[lusciouslin33]

No where in my ad did I mention need either.
It's a want.
I'm too emotionally healthy to need anyone.
Regardless, the other thing mentioned was family and friends..that would be ideal if I actually had family.
Friends, well, when one dabbles in this field, one cannot find too many other females that one can be totally and truly open with .
Since I've only been in this city a short time, it isn't all that easy to find like minded people.
Hence this thread.
So, I appreciate the sidewalk therapy but all I am asking is where there are good places to find similar people, ones with integrity and couth yet still adhering to an old school mentality.

 

[LordLoki]

This is just my opinion... agree with it or not...

Why does everyone feel they need to be with somebody else... a relationship is just a desire... not a need...
Your true relationships in your life are with family and friends... those begin from the beginning of your life to the end... and they are the truest...
An intimate relationship with somebody of the opposite sex is overrated.
Just look at the divorce rate, or average lifespan of dating relationships or those relationships based purely on looks or sex between people who really have nothing in common.

You're just feeling lonely... once you start dating someone, or get in a relationship, you'll realize why you were single in the first place. Too much drama, jealousy, dependance, restrictions, accountability, unnecessary responsibilities, etc.

What an incredibly sad post.

 

[bangcamaro]

What an incredibly sad post.

It's sad that the best and realest relationships in one's life are from close friends and family?

 

[LordLoki]

It's sad that the best and realest relationships in one's life are from close friends and family?

It is sad you have never had a chance to experiece more. And sad you there for cannot feel anything more.

It is also sad when a colour blind person says red is over rated ad yellow is just as good. Jst simply, sad.

 

[hamermill]

There is an estimated 70 sextillion stars visible with a telescope - sure there must be another planet like earth out there.

There are 6,602,224,175 people on this earth - this is someone just waiting to find you.

Have faith

 

[eenthusiast]

I think I know why.

I'm in my early 30's, make decent coin, am nice (I have very good close friends) and I'm moderately attractive.

In my business I've seen a lot of people get sucess easily by being more available or have a better sales message, put more eloquently than others.

The same holds true for love and intimacy. Some people just invite it more, they go out to bars/clubs/socially more and they get more numbers, get rejected more but no one cares about your success rate, only the number of successes.

A woman at my work who's very attractive flirts with me. I don't flirt back because she's not my type. Even though she's a hottie and a nice person, I won't woo her the way she'd expect to be.

In short, it's not a guarantee that you'll ever meet the right person, in order to meet that person you have to put yourself out there more and go on a lot of dates to get to know people, and then not go out with them again or commit to them at all if they're wrong.

The question is if you want to do that.

 

[luv4lust]

i met the right person once the only problem is he was married
some day i'll meet a single one who isn't a prude in bed

 

[fuji]

I think the problem often is people look for their partner to be absolutely everything, great in bed, soul mate, confidante, best friend, business partner, great looking, successful in business, great parent, etc. Well those are all good things but it's rare to find them all in one person, and happiness only really needs your SO to be a couple of those things. If more people realized that there'd likely be more marriages and fewer divorces.

I guess it's part of being human to always want more, but a lot of people let happiness pack its bags and move out just because they think they need to find it all in one person.

 

[luv4lust]

I think the problem often is people look for their partner to be absolutely everything, great in bed, soul mate, confidante, best friend, business partner, great looking, successful in business, great parent, etc. Well those are all good things but it's rare to find them all in one person, and happiness only really needs your SO to be a couple of those things. If more people realized that there'd likely be more marriages and fewer divorces.

I guess it's part of being human to always want more, but a lot of people let happiness pack its bags and move out just because they think they need to find it all in one person.

i agree with you i only have a few musts the rest can be worked on

 

[a 1 player]

In my opinion the key is to get out there and date...alot.

Getting a date is not a really difficult thing to do, hell, there are TOTALLY fugly people all over the place in relationships. The trick is to have a bit of game, to look for a person you are compatible with, and generally one who you just like being with. The rest will fall into place, or it won't. If it doesn't, oh well.

The hardest part of dating is striking up a conversation with a complete stranger. This is where your game comes in. Game is a really easy thing to have. Look at your most popular friend, (not the best looking one), but the one who just seems to have the gift. I'll bet you notice a few things when they are approaching the opposite sex:

They smile
Confidence
They ask a lot of questions
They have something to say
They are a bit funny
They smile
They use manners
They are genuine
They dress appropriately for the situation
They have good hygene
They are not rude, forceful or demanding
They know when shit ain't working and it's time to retreat (and don't really give a shit that it didn't work out).

People see thousands of other people a day, that is a lot of opportunity. Just keep meeting people and the right person will eventually be found. And for the people who think that intimate relationships are overrated... You are all nuts!!! When two people fall deeply in love, when it hurts to be apart from your partner, when they consume your every thought. There is no feeling like it.

Beautiful Mess - Diamond Rio

Going out of my mind these days,
Like I'm walkin' round in a haze.
I can't think straight, I can't concentrate.
And I need a shave.

I go to work and I look tired.
The boss man says: "Son, you're gonna get fired."
This ain't your style, and from behind my coffee cup,
I just smile.

What a beautiful mess!
What a beautiful mess I'm in.
Spendin' all my time with you,
There's nothin' else I'd rather do.
What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in.
'Cos I can't get enough,
Can't stop the hunger for your love.
What a beautiful, what a beautiful mess I'm in.
Ahhh.

This morning put salt in my coffee.
I put my shoes on the wrong feet.
I'm losin' my mind, I swear; It might be the death of me,
But I don't care.

What a beautiful mess!
What a beautiful mess I'm in.
Spendin' all my time with you,
There's nothin' else I'd rather do.
What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in.
'Cos I can't get enough,
Can't stop the hunger for your love.
What a beautiful, what a beautiful mess I'm in.
Ahhh.

Is it your eyes? Is it your smile?
All I know is that you're drivin' me wild.

What a beautiful mess!
What a beautiful mess I'm in.
Spendin' all my time with you,
There's nothin' else I'd rather do.
What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in.
'Cos I can't get enough,
Can't stop the hunger for your love.
(What a beautiful.)
What a beautiful.......

What a beautiful mess!
What a beautiful mess I'm in.
Spendin' all my time with you,
There's nothin' else I'd rather do.
What a sweet addiction that I'm caught up in.
'Cos I can't get enough,
Can't stop the hunger for your love.
What a beautiful, what a beautiful mess I'm in.

 

[to-guy69]

The "game" changes when you are over 30....especially for a woman.

Most if not all of your friends are now married (if not very close to)....some even have children already.

Even some of the previous popular hangouts have to change and there are fewer quality single people (without baggage) to date.

You are more set in your ways, are less likely to settle for less than you deserve after all this time and fitting into someone else's puzzle just isn't as high of a priority as it use to be.

Sex in the City may paint a nice picture of what it's like to be older and single on TV but reality is another story.

Question
How would you spend your time if you didn't have to work for a living?

Ensure you are already spending some time doing some of what those passions and interests are because chances are you will meet some potential prospects within those similar interests and passions you share (as a starting point).

 

[a 1 player]

The "game" changes when you are over 30....especially for a woman.

Most if not all of your friends are now married (if not very close to)....some even have children already.

Even some of the previous popular hangouts have to change and there are fewer quality single people (without baggage) to date.

You are more set in your ways, are less likely to settle for less than you deserve after all this time and fitting into someone else's puzzle just isn't as high of a priority as it use to be.

Sex in the City may paint a nice picture of what it's like to be older and single on TV but reality is another story.

I understand what you are saying, but I respectfully disagree. I am 38 now, and I am having more 'luck' than at any time in my life. I am not a wealthy man, have a nice pot belly, am of average looks, just your run of the mill average guy. The rules of the game still apply, no matter what age you are.

And baggage, hell, if there is anyone who hits 30 that does not have some sort of baggage there is something wrong with them. I guess 'baggage' needs to be defined. For myself, children are not baggage. I have 2 myself, and it is almost a dating criteria for me. See, we come as a packege, no negotiations. If a lady friend of mine has to cancel because of children problems, it comes with the territory. Now if we are defining baggage as a person who has not gotten over a pervious relationship, I would agree with you. Unfortunately, my ex-wife will be in my life forever as she is the mother of my kids, but the ties (except for child support) are severed, so I would not consider her baggage as well.

I agree that the popular hangouts have changed. Us single people just have to get more creative. Places I have gotten dates include:

Plenty of Fish
Grocery Store
Gym
POP (parents without partners)
Kids soccer game
Emergency dept. in a hospital (excellent opportunity for conversation)
Friends parties
Food court in a mall (it was really busy, I asked if a seat was taken at a table)

I also agree that we are more set in our ways, but a date (or a few), does not mean marriage. I (personally speaking), like to go on a few dates, (pending we like each other), to see if there is a possibility for emotional connection. If there is, things just seem to fall into place. If not, again, oh well, so be it, the search continues. Remember, they have to fall into your puzzle the same way you have to fall into theirs.

In my opinion anyway, dating is fun, and moderately easy to do in ones 30's. Falling in love is much, much more difficult, but so worth it when it happens.

 

[Frosty]

Emergency dept. in a hospital (excellent opportunity for conversation)

This one I agree. I was hospitalized most recently and I find the nurses are screaming for dates (well, not that sort of way). They have long and odd hours and let's just say you can get pretty stressed out looking after patients (and there are alot of difficult patients). They'll work a long 12 hour shift, they'll immediately go home and dress up and hit the clubs and still report to work the next day.

 

[jazzpig]

It is sad you have never had a chance to experiece more. And sad you there for cannot feel anything more.

It is also sad when a colour blind person says red is over rated ad yellow is just as good. Jst simply, sad.

Well said.

 

[scouser1]

I am in the same boat as some here, early 30's and single, between career and life just in general things get hectic real fast. The idea is to get out there and meet as many people as possible, the ones that have been mentioned already I have had moderate success in, the gym, Plenty of Fish etc, but what about joining a group for a hobby you enjoy and I dont mean that kind of hobby you sickos!!! what about volunteering? 6 billion people on this planet, all ya really need is one.

As for the you dont need intimacy just your friends and family, not really that surprising for someone to post that here, a few guys have really been hurt by women or otherwise and just have cynical views of sex and relationships.

on a side note, soccer moms and nurses I definitely like where this thread is going hehehe