A label on a bottle of drain cleaner which reads: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product."
A label on a snow sled for children which warns: "Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions."
A label on a 12-inch rack for storing compact disks which reads: "Do not use as a ladder."
A five-inch brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end which warns: "Harmful if swallowed."
A smoke detector which warns: "Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire."
On a blanket from Taiwan:
Not to be used as protection from a tornado.
Warning on fireplace log:
Caution -- Risk of Fire.
A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists:
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
Warning on an electric router made for carpenters:
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
On a bottle of shampoo for dogs:
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
On a string of Chinese made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions - open packet, eat nuts.
On a hotel provided shower cap:
Fits one head.
On Nytol Nighttime Sleep-Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
Warning on a cartridge for a laser printer:
Do not eat toner.
Can of self-defense pepper spray warns:
May irritate eyes.
Warning on a Conair Pro Style 1600 hair dryer:
Do not use in shower. Never use while sleeping.
On Silly Putty package warning:
Not for use as earplugs.
On a baby stroller:
Remove child before folding.
On a household iron:
Never iron clothes while they are being worn.
On a fireplace lighter:
Do not use near fire, flame or sparks.
On a handheld massager:
Don't use while sleeping or unconscious.
On a cardboard car sun shield:
Do not drive with sun shield in place
On a sharpening stone:
Knives are sharp.
On bottled water label :
Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.
On a box of rat poison
Warning: Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
On a toilet bowl cleaning brush:
Do not use orally.
On an electric cattle prods:
For use on animals only
On a can of air freshener:
Keep out of reach of children and teenagers
On a rubber ball toy:
Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball.
On a package of dice:
Not for human consumption.
In the manual of a chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand.
On the barrel of a .22 caliber rifle:
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.
On an electric thermometer:
Do not use orally after using rectally.
On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack:
Remove plastic before eating.
On a TV remote controller:
Not dishwasher safe
On a fireplace log:
"Caution - Risk of Fire"
On a CD-Player:
"Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult."
On a box of birthday candles:
"DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity."
On novelty rock garden:
"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth."
On the "Cycle-Aware" helmet-mounted mirror:
"Remember: Objects in the mirror are actually behind you."
On a packet of juggling balls:
"This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA."
On a camera:
"This camera only works when there is film inside."
On a bottle of flavored milk drink:
"After opening, keep upright."
On a can of windscreen de-icing spray:
"Spray works in sub-zero temperatures."
On a Halloween Batman costume:
"This cape does not give the wearer the ability to fly."
