Southern Sheriff Pulls Over Obama Campaign Bus For Broken Taillight

WoodPeckr

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Southern Sheriff Pulls Over Obama Campaign Bus For Broken Taillight

October 17, 2008 | Issue 44•42

Sheriff Dewey Clutter makes Sen. Obama recite the Gettysburg Address backwards.

FOXWORTH, MS—Despite obeying the posted speed limit and having all inspection, registration, and insurance documentation up to date, Sen. Barack Obama's campaign bus was stopped for nearly four hours by Marion County deputy sheriff Dewey Clutter while en route to a Jackson, MS speech, sources reported Tuesday.

According to those on board the bus—including various journalists, members of the Secret Service, and Obama campaign staffers—several minutes passed before Clutter exited his cruiser. Witness statements all mention hearing the sheriff's jackbooted footsteps along the gravel roadside as he slowly approached the vehicle's passenger side. These reports also assert that, prior to reaching the front of the campaign bus, the sheriff paused momentarily to smash the right rear taillight of the bus before dragging his still-drawn baton along the entire length of the vehicle.

"Where's the fire, son?" Clutter, 42, was overheard saying to the Illinois senator and 2008 Democratic presidential nominee. "Driving like that in these parts, what with a busted taillight and all, fella like you liable to get hisself into a whole mess a trouble."

Obama protested briefly before Clutter interrupted the graduate of Columbia University and Harvard Law School, brusquely informing the senator that he could "detain [Obama's] uppity ass for 48 hours without charging [him] with shit."

"Huh. Illinois," Clutter said while scrutinizing Obama's driver's license from behind a pair of mirrored aviator sunglasses. "You a long way from home, ain't ya?"

"Now Barry, someone 'bout your height, 'bout your skin color knocked over a Piggly Wiggly up in New Hebron just a coupla hours ago," Clutter continued. "But you wouldn't know nothin' 'bout that, now would you?"

Clutter then turned to Obama's wife, Michelle, looked her up and down, and wiped his mouth with a handkerchief.

After questioning the New York Times best-selling author and presidential frontrunner for several minutes about his business in Mississippi and politely asking the Caucasian women on the bus if they were all right, Clutter claimed that he smelled marijuana smoke and initiated a search.

According to Clutter's police report, the sheriff then ordered everyone to exit the bus and to place their hands on the side of the vehicle. Clutter then reentered the campaign bus, emerging a few moments later with a stack of documents.

"Well, well, would you looky here. If it ain't Barry's comprehensive plan for withdrawing U.S. troops from Iraq," said Clutter, setting the proposal on fire with a lit cigarette while blowing smoke in Obama's face. "Smart, well-dressed boy like you, I'd a-thought you'd take better care of your things."

"Now ain't that a shame," Clutter added.

Following the search, witnesses said that Clutter allowed everyone back onto the vehicle with the exception of the senator. Twenty minutes later, a visibly agitated Obama climbed aboard the bus. He reportedly refused to discuss what had happened, and instructed the driver to continue on to Jackson.

According to Obama insiders, this is not the first time on the campaign trail that the former president of the Harvard Law Review has had to deal with this type of treatment. While attending a rally in Savannah, GA, Obama was closely followed around the town hall by several armed guards to ensure that he didn't steal anything, and the senator reportedly had trouble canvassing voters in Baton Rouge, LA after everyone he approached crossed to the opposite side of the street.

"Sen. Obama has been incredibly patient and courageous during this election," campaign chief of staff Jim Messina said while looking nervously over his shoulder. "Despite some setbacks, we feel that we've made incredible progress."

"It's a new day in America," Messina added.
 

y2kmark

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Onion is usually more believable ...

As if Obama is going to waste any time campaigning in Misipi:rolleyes:
 
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LancsLad

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That was just Jackie Gleason out for a good time. He's just funnin ya.




.
 

LancsLad

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DonQuixote said:
You probably never spent any time in that part of our
Great country. You're talking about bible belt bullies.
I spent some time in Georgia and North Carolina. My
Ohio plates brought me nothing but grief.

They truly are a bunch of red necked asshats who
behave more like gestapos than the nazis. Farking
morons.


It's the Onion.:)




.
 

WoodPeckr

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LancsLad said:
It's the Onion.
Sooooooo

It still stands head and shoulders above FAUX!....:cool:
 
O

OnTheWayOut

Oh shit, here we go ....... could they have made this story any more stereotyped???? Are you all sure the sheriff didn't actually rape his wife and then spit on her too? Fuck, this is getting insane .........
 

Aardvark154

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slurp said:
Oh shit, here we go ....... could they have made this story any more stereotyped???? Are you all sure the sheriff didn't actually rape his wife and then spit on her too? Fuck, this is getting insane .........
As soon as you see the word "Jackbooted" you know where the story's going. Not to mention that ninty-nine percent of those who use the term couldn't describe or draw a jackboot to save their lives.
 

papasmerf

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DonQuixote said:
The South has been doing Jackboot since the Civil War.

You want culture shock, go live South of the Mason-Dixon
line and the write a memoire. You'll be a hero in Canada.

And you Northerners think you have problems with the French.
I do love those southern heroes
 

Aardvark154

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DonQuixote said:
A true hero is one who dies for his country.

Stop using the word loosly.

That's how the military uses the word.
Plenty of veterans of the CSA and CSN died as heros.
 

WoodPeckr

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DonQuixote said:
I spent some time in Georgia and North Carolina. My
Ohio plates brought me nothing but grief.

They truly are a bunch of red necked asshats who
behave more like gestapos than the nazis. Farking
morons.
Some areas of the redneck south are still fighting the Civil War....:rolleyes:
NY plate don't fare much better there and fare even worse in Texas!
 

skypilot

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WoodPeckr said:
Some areas of the redneck south are still fighting the Civil War....:rolleyes:
NY plate don't fare much better there and fare even worse in Texas!
Hell, if you have a NY plate in the redneck south you'd wish you were only black.
 

Aardvark154

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DonQuixote said:
Their sacrifice will forever be honored.

They deserve no less.

Fallen breatherin no matter what flag
deserves my respect and gratitude.

You have to be there when it happens
to understand my passions.
I appreciate it Don.
Sometimes we disagree. But I appreciate your viewpoint and your actions.
 

WoodPeckr

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Aardvark154 said:
Plenty of veterans of the CSA and CSN died as heros.
Some counties excel at creating a lot of dead heros, eh?....:(
 
O

OnTheWayOut

DonQuixote said:
We can agree to disagree.
Why does everyone agree to disagree? I want someone to step up and disagree to agree .......... I find that a lot more agreeable
 

slowandeasy

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DonQuixote said:
You probably never spent any time in that part of our
Great country. You're talking about bible belt bullies.
I spent some time in Georgia and North Carolina. My
Ohio plates brought me nothing but grief.

They truly are a bunch of red necked asshats who
behave more like gestapos than the nazis. Farking
morons.
WTF...... I worked for a company that had it's plant in a little town about 1 hour north of Atlanta. We had a retreat for the whole plant, and all the sales and admin people. We spent 5 days with 300 "rednecks". It was a great time, and one of my best memories. It reinforced my belief that we have more similiarities across color and culture lines, than within.

I have travelled alot in the south, and yes I have had some problems. I have also had problems here in Canada. Most of my experiences have been very good to excellent. BTW... when I travel, I do the tourist things, but I also seek out local hangouts.

Sorry Don, your post is bullshit!!!!
 

slowandeasy

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Aardvark154 said:
As soon as you see the word "Jackbooted" you know where the story's going. Not to mention that ninty-nine percent of those who use the term couldn't describe or draw a jackboot to save their lives.
LOL.. I wondered what Jackbooted meant. I assume it has something to do with the NAZI's.
 

slowandeasy

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WoodPeckr said:
Some areas of the redneck south are still fighting the Civil War....:rolleyes:
NY plate don't fare much better there and fare even worse in Texas!
That's because New Yorkers are mostly assholes. and I am only 1/2 joking...
 

red

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slowandeasy said:
WTF...... I worked for a company that had it's plant in a little town about 1 hour north of Atlanta. We had a retreat for the whole plant, and all the sales and admin people. We spent 5 days with 300 "rednecks". It was a great time, and one of my best memories. It reinforced my belief that we have more similiarities across color and culture lines, than within.

I have travelled alot in the south, and yes I have had some problems. I have also had problems here in Canada. Most of my experiences have been very good to excellent. BTW... when I travel, I do the tourist things, but I also seek out local hangouts.

Sorry Don, your post is bullshit!!!!
he had a rough time and you didn't. a sample of two doesn't make either of you right.
 

dcbogey

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Did you actually read the "article"? And you think this actually happened? As Lancs said - its the onion.
Why bother responding to the crap the OP spews out?
 
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