Rules of Life

[Keyser Soze]

Keyser Soze has developed some rules of life that he would like to share ... and in turn hear if you have any interesting rules.

Here are some of the rules, featuring the famous "rule 17" which I unfortunately have to use on a daily basis.

Please feel free to add to the list

1. Keep your head up.

2. Don't take any shit from anyone.

3. Keep your head up.
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17A. Never argue with an idiot. He will drag you down his level and then beat you with experience.
17B. Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
17C. Never argue with a lawyer. You will soon find that it is like mud wrestling with a pig ... the pig likes it. [you may replace "lawyer" with your own favorite profession]

 

[ThePunkPanther]

odds N sods

#1A - If anything can go wrong, fix it! [to hell with murphy]
#16 - when in doubt; THINK!
#9 - if you can't win, change the rules.
#15 - bureaucracy is a challenge to be conquered.

 

[TheNiteHwk]

F88k all the rules.... I win!

 

[holden]

#19 Never sleep with your girlfriend's hot younger sister - they talk

 

[nautilus]

#15 Spelling is a challenge

 

[happygrump]

21. Those who wait in long lineups at a fast food outlet, then get to the front counter and say, out loud, "Now, what do I want?" will be taken out back and peed upon.

22. Those who enter the express lane with an abundance of items over and above the maximum number (usually 8 or 12, depending on the store) will be forced to take remedial arithmetic with a classful of 8 year olds.

23. People who insist on hunting in their purses / pockets / other article of attire or accessory where coins may be hidden to give the cashier the exact change will hencetoforth be made to listen blindfolded to "Tie a Yellow Ribbon" by Tony Orlando and Dawn for exactly one week per minute they hold up the line.

24. Writers who use extremely long sentences (such as in 23 above) without heed to punctuation will be heretofore made to have a conversation with a blow-up doll.

 

[happygrump]

25. Those who use the word "your" instead of "you're" (as in, "Your a real painintheass," which should be, "You're a real painintheass") will be forced to re-define the usage of an apostrophe and submit it to the Oxford English Dictionary until approved.

 

[happygrump]

42. People who attempt a hostile takeover of IBM by means of an automated bank machine, especially on payday, will be made to clean out the elephant cage at the Toronto Zoo for one week.

 

[holden]

#101 Never pee into a 40 miles per hr wind - the splash back is a bitch

 

[ThePunkPanther]

grins.

#15 Spelling is a challenge

refer to rule #1A ;-)

 

[eyeofthedragon]

20 rules are meant to be broken

 

[holden]

#42 While on a date, never text message the last person that called you begging them to call you back so you have an excuse to end the date b/c you are bored beyond belief - cuz the last person who called you could be the person you are having the date with - D'oh!!!