Relationship problem

Raven_x

New member
May 20, 2003
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One of my friend, she has been going out with this guy for 2 years++ and they lived together. As for now, this guy wanted freedom and he ask his gf to move back to her own house cause he wants freedom and she did it. And she told me it has been months that they didnt have sex, and both of them loose interest with each other.

And they dont really meet each other anymore, right now she told me she still loves that guy, but the spark between them is gone. They dont have arguments like the past, dont talk anything like normal couples do. Right now she wanted to save this relationship and she doesnt knows what to do and she is lost and confused.

The worst part of all, i don't know how to advise her, told her to break up with the guy and she doesnt want to. I really dont have advise to give her. And right now, if you guys have any opinions, feel free to tell.

p/s : plz note that english is not my 1st language, sorry if you cant understand. Also, if you want to be sarcastic. not even bother to give a true advise, and trying to mock me, please just don't bother to post. Thank you
 

calloway

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Feb 25, 2003
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Sorry to break the news to your girlfriend, but her boyfriend has another girlfriend... or at least another sexual partner on the side. The relationship is over. She will probably try to change his mind, but it won't work in the long run. Men don't change and I don't understand why women think they can change men. On the other hand, I know a lot of women that won't change either! Sorry to hear the news Raven, but all you can do is support her as much as you can.
 

Goober Mcfly

Retired. -ish
Oct 26, 2001
10,125
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Can we mock the people who mock you?

Seriously, a relationship is a two-way street. She can't make the guy want to be in a relationship with her. You need to make that clear to her.

I'd say she approach the guy and say she wants to renew the relationship. If he says "No", there's nothing she can do that will convince him otherwise, and it would be wasted time trying.

</Dr. Phil>
 

Average Joe

Senior Member
Mar 28, 2002
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The moment he asked her to move out is was over. It's likely he just didn't have the courage to tell her to her face and is hoping she'll eventually get the message. I agree with calloway that he probably has someone else already.

Tell her that if he really cared about her he wouldn't treat her that way. Since he clearly doesn't care about her anymore then she should move on and find someone who does. Of course, that's the rational approach. Matters of the heart are never rational.

Until your friend figures this out for herself you're just going to have to be there for her.
 

The Doctor

Still Without Humour
Jun 2, 2003
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I'd have to concur that the relationship ended long before he asked her to move out. If the sex ended months ago and he then asked her to move, it's done. It may re-develop again down the road, but only a clean break by both will allow that to happen. If they both move on at this point, they will be able to evaluate whether they should be together or not. Your friend can't spend her time waiting for him to come around.

One quesion, does she like to go by the name sexy lady?

(joking)
 

Raven_x

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May 20, 2003
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"One quesion, does she like to go by the name sexy lady?"
Nope, she is not even in canada... way way far away from here...
 

MuffinMuncher

And very good at it
Oct 3, 2001
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I agree with the previous posts that this guy had moved on even before he asked her to move out, and yes, he likely has a replacement girlfriend already.

Her one hope is to turn the tables and "break up with him". Guys are notorious for wanting what they cant have, and by making herself unavailable, he might just want to rekindle the relationship. It wont last in the long run, though, so she is really better off to just move on.

Does she like to play scrabble?
 

onthebottom

Never Been Justly Banned
Jan 10, 2002
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You can't make someone like you

Introduce your friend to someone new - that will get her mind off it.

OTB
 

Raven_x

New member
May 20, 2003
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MuffinMuncher said:
I agree with the previous posts that this guy had moved on even before he asked her to move out, and yes, he likely has a replacement girlfriend already.

Her one hope is to turn the tables and "break up with him". Guys are notorious for wanting what they cant have, and by making herself unavailable, he might just want to rekindle the relationship. It wont last in the long run, though, so she is really better off to just move on.

Does she like to play scrabble?

SHe loves scrabble, always ask me to play.. but i dont like scrabble.. lol
 

Raven_x

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May 20, 2003
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Re: The final step .....

Mystique Misty said:
was him asking her to move out but like the others I feel the relationship was over long before that . It has to work both
ways . She cant be the only 1 wanting the relationship to work . Just my 2 cents >>> Misty
yup.. he asked her to move out.
 

sourpuss1969

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Jan 15, 2004
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What country is she in? That can play a pretty big role as to what advice you can use from the previous post as it could be a whole other culture that we don't live or understand.......but from a single Canadian view-point I would have to agree with most postings, she needs to move on. The longer she tries to keep it going the worse it will get and the more annoyed her ex will get and nothing will be left of the relationship.

Feed her this line "If you free a bird and it returns then it is ment to be yours"....I probably didn't get that quote word for word, maybe someone here might have the exact wording.
 

joebear

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Aug 31, 2003
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tell your friend to confront the boyfriend and ask him if he is seeing someone else or find out if they can salvage the relationship.

I think this will help your friend face the fact it is over.
 

sexy lady

Banned
Nov 28, 2003
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toronto, Ontario
my advice to her is just start dating other men, if she is busy dating then she will take her mind off of her bf, and she will relize on her own that she should let go. The more u tell her right now to dump him the more she wont listen. in time it will happen, when she is ready
 

JeremytheWicked

That Puppet Bear Gone Bad
My marriage failed solely because my wife could not be initmate (for reasons that were not her fault). It started with the sex , but in the end, she wouldn't even want to kiss/hold hands/ or even be in same room as me.

If the spark gets extinguished and you can't restart it, it's time to rethink the whole thing, IMHO
 
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