Reality romance...

[toughb]

Husband and wife in bed together.
She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.
She:"Oh that feels good."
His hand moves to her breast.
She: "Gee, honey that feels wonderful."
His hand moves to her leg.
She: "Oh, honey, don't stop."
But he stops.
She: "Why did you stop?"
He:"I found the remote."

 

[BallzDeep]

Husband and wife were camping,
Bear approaches tent,
Wife screams, we can't outrun a bear,
Husband replies, I just have to outrun you.

 

[David Beckham 23]

Husband runs into bedroom where wife is sleeping.
He's holding a sheep in his arms.
He yells, "this is the pig I've been screwing when you're not around"
Wife says, "That's a sheep"
Husband says, "who the fuck is talking to you."

 

[elmufdvr]

the wife walks in the house and sees the husband with a dog... she asks "where you got the fu@king dog?"... the husband turns around suprised and yells ' holly sh!t a talking dog"

 

[anon1]

A husband and wife had just finished having sex.
They are laying side by side in bed.
After a few minutes, she gives him a swift kick in the leg.
"That's for being such a lousy lover!" she said.
He is surprised and dumbfounded.
After a few minutes of reflection, he gives her a swift kick in the leg.
"That's for knowing the difference!" he said.

 

[WhaWhaWha]

An 80 year old couple are laying in bed together
He takes her hand, they smile as he squeezes, and they drift off to sleep.
Next night he takes her hand and she says, "Not tonight I have a headache"

 

[tboy]

Husband and wife are lying in bed together, the husband is feeling a little amorous so he starts playing with his wife's pussy.
She says "sorry honey, I'm going to the gyno tomorrow"
So he starts playing with her butt.
She says "sorry honey, I'm going to the proctologist tomorrow"

He thinks for a minute then says "Don't you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too"?
She says "no, that's next week..."

He repliesL "AWESOME, now get to work!!!"

 

[elmufdvr]

take my wife please!!!

 

[BallzDeep]

A wife forces her husband to quit drinking because he's spending $150 a month on beer and putting a financial strain on the marriage.
2 weeks later the husband finds a $150 receipt from a beauty salon.
Husband confronts his wife and says WTF, you can waste money at a beauty salon and I have to quit drinking.
Wife replies, I did it so I would look pretty to you.
Husband replies, what do you think the beer was for!

 

[HafDun]

the birthday present

Wife goes into the pet store to find hubby a birthday present and is taken aback by a huge bullfrog with a sign "trained frog $300". Inquiring as to what a frog can be trained to do, the store keeper tells her that this frog is one-of-a-kind and has been trained to give DT BBBJ CIM.
Somewhat doubtful, but seeing this as a gag (no pun intended) birthday present, she buys it and takes it home.
That night after hubby is asleep wifey puts the frog into their bed so hubby will wake up on his birthday to his see his present.
Hubby wakes up in the morning to the most amazing Porn Star oral sex he has ever encountered.
A while later wifey wakes up to the sound of the crash and bang of pots and pans. She goes into the kitchen to see what is happening because hubby is no cook. To her suprise, hubby has cookbooks open and ever pot and pan in the kitchen dirty and the frog is sitting on the counter watching.
On inquiriing as to what is going on, hubby replies " if I can teach Kermit how to cook, your ass is outta here!"