HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
>
>1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
>2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY
>APPRECIATIVE."
>3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
>4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF
>THE
>INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
>5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED
>COMPANION."
>6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
>7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
>INCONVENIENCED."
>8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY
>ENHANCED."
>9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
>10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
>11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
>SUPERIOR."
>12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
>
>
>HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
>1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
>STORAGE FACILITY."
>2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
>3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES
>ALTERNATIVE
>DESTINATIONS."
>4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
>5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL
>DIFFERENTIAL
>RELATIONSHIPS."
>6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
>HORIZONTAL."
>7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
>"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
>8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
>9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP
>CHALLENGED."
>10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
>11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's
>"REAR
>CLEAVAGE."
>
>1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
>2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY
>APPRECIATIVE."
>3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
>4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF
>THE
>INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
>5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED
>COMPANION."
>6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
>7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
>INCONVENIENCED."
>8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY
>ENHANCED."
>9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
>10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
>11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
>SUPERIOR."
>12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
>
>
>HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
>1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
>STORAGE FACILITY."
>2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
>3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES
>ALTERNATIVE
>DESTINATIONS."
>4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
>5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL
>DIFFERENTIAL
>RELATIONSHIPS."
>6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
>HORIZONTAL."
>7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
>"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
>8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
>9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP
>CHALLENGED."
>10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
>11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's
>"REAR
>CLEAVAGE."
