Please Guys, NOT OK.

[KittyCaterina]

Tonite I received the text below.

A TERB member, phone number and text with username removed of course.

I am assuming I received this because my clients have posted in my reviews that I offered recommendations or a "who is real" list of other SPs IF they want to see me and I am not available.

I am not a one woman referral board for people who have no interest in me.

The audacity of this member just blows my mind.

Advice: unless a lady you want to see who is not available OFFERS alternate recommendations don't ask.
LET ALONE asking an SP you have zero intentions of seeing.

 

[macrin]

People astound me with their lack of basic respect and situational awareness, on a daily basis. I'm sorry your kindness was taken for granted. Good for you for calling him out. He not only lost out on a referral but missed out on an opportunity to spend time with an amazing provider and what could have been a VERY memorable experience.

 

[Cromwell69427]

So sad to see beautiful ladies treated like objects. Regardless of profession, everyone deserves the right to be respected and treated with kindness.

 

[ThundercatsHo]

Just a slight boo boo in reading the room on this persons part with a bold meets dumb je ne sais quoi. But I am curious @KittyCaterina if you would have reacted differently if they had wanted to session with you first and either in said session or future sessions made the reccos ask? Would you have been more open to that?

 

[KittyCaterina]

Just a slight boo boo in reading the room on this persons part with a bold meets dumb je ne sais quoi. But I am curious @KittyCaterina if you would have reacted differently if they had wanted to session with you first and either in said session or future sessions made the reccos ask? Would you have been more open to that?

If I see someone and am not available for the next time they book me, I might offer a recommendation.
That is up to me and I have done it plenty of times.

This person had no interest in seeing me.

It is the same thing as if you were to call a business, say a hairstylist that you have never been to, and say to them you are not interested in their services but would like a recommendation to another hairstylist who offers the same.

 

[ThundercatsHo]

If I see someone and am not available for the next time they book me, I might offer a recommendation.
That is up to me and I have done it plenty of times.

This person had no interest in seeing me.

It is the same thing as if you were to call a business, say a hairstylist that you have never been to, and say to them you are not interested in their services but would like a recommendation to another hairstylist who offers the same.

key word is might. This meshes with the vibe I took from you and the response being different not asking where to find the closest Dave’s Classic double at the local McDonalds.
Full respect that you have to want too and not be objectified solely for their end need.

TLDR - DDWTGD Dont do what that guy does

 

[bloodless]

normal people don't do this anyway.
you cannot take offense at every oddball out there who behaves badly, it is a waste of energy, and they don't deserve any time being spent on them.
just ignore it, like water off a ducks back, and move on.

 

[Amber Glory]

Tonite I received the text below.

A TERB member, phone number and text with username removed of course.

I am assuming I received this because my clients have posted in my reviews that I offered recommendations or a "who is real" list of other SPs IF they want to see me and I am not available.

I am not a one woman referral board for people who have no interest in me.

The audacity of this member just blows my mind.

Advice: unless a lady you want to see who is not available OFFERS alternate recommendations don't ask.
LET ALONE asking an SP you have zero intentions of seeing. View attachment 335449

I got that same text!! Dude is shopping around for us to shop around for him?

 

[KTDoy]

Could be another competitor. Who knows?. What knucklehead would be that stupid...oh wait, yeah there are stupid people out there.

 

[kherg007]

Next time - Kitty's referral service- $200.

Lol.

But seriously thanks for posting. Blokes lose their minds in this biz. The only time I'd ever ask for a rec is if the lady I reached out to could not accommodate my time window or if she had to cancel.
Thus its good to post this kitty to snap some of the lads back to reality.

 

[ThundercatsHo]

I got that same text!! Dude is shopping around for us to shop around for him?

This just makes it even more odd
Odder still was they have a handle and likely have seen this thread

 

[KittyCaterina]

Could be another competitor. Who knows?. What knucklehead would be that stupid...oh wait, yeah there are stupid people out there.

I did wonder this at first, a "competitor" trying to see what I would say or who I would recommend.
A few years ago I did catch another SP, well-known in Kingston/Ottawa, in the act of sneakiness with some attempted intentionally harmful behaviours and she later apologized after meeting me, so it isn't unheard of.

As for this person in my original post...
I won't reveal the number or member, although I can say it was a legitimate phone number and not a text app.
So I think it is an actual client who has no "situational awareness" as someone said above.

I posted this to create discussion and awareness around this behaviour because it is not an isolated incident.

 

[massman]

Tonite I received the text below.

A TERB member, phone number and text with username removed of course.

I am assuming I received this because my clients have posted in my reviews that I offered recommendations or a "who is real" list of other SPs IF they want to see me and I am not available.

I am not a one woman referral board for people who have no interest in me.

The audacity of this member just blows my mind.

Advice: unless a lady you want to see who is not available OFFERS alternate recommendations don't ask.
LET ALONE asking an SP you have zero intentions of seeing. View attachment 335449

Wow. Some of my fellow Y chromosome carriers are sooooo fucking tone deaf. Holy shit buddy, read the room! If it weren’t so disrespectful, it would actually be hilarious.

The only time I’d ask a girl to recommend a colleague to me would be a) she was not available at the time I was looking for. and b) if I knew her and had seen her before, and had a good relationship with her.

Now I have had a couple occasions where I reached out to a provider, she could not accommodate me at the time I was available, and she voluntarily recommended a friend/ colleague. I did really appreciate this, and thought it was very professional and classy. In fact this led to me meeting a SP who became an ATF.

 

[KittyCaterina]

normal people don't do this anyway.
you cannot take offense at every oddball out there who behaves badly, it is a waste of energy, and they don't deserve any time being spent on them.
just ignore it, like water off a ducks back, and move on.

I see this type of response often...
Dismissive regarding the crap sexworkers have to deal with.

Why can't I take offense?
Why can't I post it hoping to raise awareness about this behaviour?

You might not do this, but others do.

 

[ThundercatsHo]

I tend to agree with the lady here. It is a PSA and educational piece all in one. Clearly exasperated her enough to vent, put the word out, and also a hint hint to us knuckleheads.

 

[ArgoHater]

Kitty, I had a thought, and then thought about it some more before I posted, so please bear with me for a bit.

I was going to ask "What if a person offered you compensation for a recommendation?". It's a very good thing that I took some time to think about that.

I cannot see any reasoon on Earth why you would recommend another provider to a person you haven't met. For all you know, you could be putting that provider in danger. So I'm very happy that I thought things out first.

Unfortunately, even before the pandemic (for obvious reasons), I have been noticing a decrease in social graces, both IRL and online, in almost every situation. I'm not making any excuses for the person who messaged you, but it seems to be a symptom of this.

 

[kherg007]

Kitty, I had a thought, and then thought about it some more before I posted, so please bear with me for a bit.

I was going to ask "What if a person offered you compensation for a recommendation?". It's a very good thing that I took some time to think about that.

I cannot see any reasoon on Earth why you would recommend another provider to a person you haven't met. For all you know, you could be putting that provider in danger. So I'm very happy that I thought things out first.

Unfortunately, even before the pandemic (for obvious reasons), I have been noticing a decrease in social graces, both IRL and online, in almost every situation. I'm not making any excuses for the person who messaged you, but it seems to be a symptom of this.

"...a decrease in social graces..." - spot on. I think social media has hurt the younger generation develop their graces, and then pile onto that a pandemic lock down to further reduce their chances to learn these graces = what we see. I had a young intern ask me if I could teach him how to talk to people face to face. It's that bad.
My goodness.

 

[BootyLoving]

At least they respect your opinion.