Paruresis

[brogalldude]

Anyone here suffer from paruresis? Some call it a "shy bladder syndrome" where a person cannot urinate in public. I've had this problem since my mid teens and now I am 49. I just cannot urinate when another person is around me. My hardest time was having to urinate in front of a person conducting urine samples during a routine test for joining the Navy. There were like a hundred of us in queue ready to pee in a cup. Obviously I was the last person to piss into my cup because I just couldn't do it. I had to go to the back of the line until I could piss. It wasn't until I drank so much water that my bladder couldn't hold it in any longer that I was finally able to pee into the cup.

I thought age would eventually allow me to become more confident in pissing in public but apparently it hasn't since I couldn't urinate in the public rest room before boarding my flight the other day. Anyone here suffer from this disability; and if you did and overcame it, how did you do it? Was hoping that Toronto had some support groups but couldn't find any.

 

[explorerzip]

Anyone here suffer from paruresis? Some call it a "shy bladder syndrome" where a person cannot urinate in public. I've had this problem since my mid teens and now I am 49. I just cannot urinate when another person is around me. My hardest time was having to urinate in front of a person conducting urine samples during a routine test for joining the Navy. There were like a hundred of us in queue ready to pee in a cup. Obviously I was the last person to piss into my cup because I just couldn't do it. I had to go to the back of the line until I could piss. It wasn't until I drank so much water that my bladder couldn't hold it in any longer that I was finally able to pee into the cup.

I thought age would eventually allow me to become more confident in pissing in public but apparently it hasn't since I couldn't urinate in the public rest room before boarding my flight the other day. Anyone here suffer from this disability; and if you did and overcame it, how did you do it? Was hoping that Toronto had some support groups but couldn't find any.

First time I've heard of this condition and it's obviously psychological. A psychologist or behavior therapist is the obvious place to start to get help with this. I think your condition might be too niche to have a dedicated support group for it.

Are you unable to use a toilet stall with other people in the bathroom? Or do you experience this only when you're at a urinal? I don't have your condition, but I do find urinals to be awkward even when there's a partiation besides them. Plus, there's always the risk of splash back

 

[xmontrealer]

For sure its psychological.

When I was younger, with a good strong stream, there was no issue.

Now, as a very old guy, with a weak stream, I'm a bit embarrassed about the "trickle" noise so I go into a stall to pee sitting down, and the trickle noise isn't evident.

Another solution might be to stick my leg into the toilet bowl while standing up, and just pee down my leg, but I prefer my first choice...

 

[y2kmark]

Anyone here suffer from paruresis? Some call it a "shy bladder syndrome" where a person cannot urinate in public. I've had this problem since my mid teens and now I am 49. I just cannot urinate when another person is around me. My hardest time was having to urinate in front of a person conducting urine samples during a routine test for joining the Navy. There were like a hundred of us in queue ready to pee in a cup. Obviously I was the last person to piss into my cup because I just couldn't do it. I had to go to the back of the line until I could piss. It wasn't until I drank so much water that my bladder couldn't hold it in any longer that I was finally able to pee into the cup.

I thought age would eventually allow me to become more confident in pissing in public but apparently it hasn't since I couldn't urinate in the public rest room before boarding my flight the other day. Anyone here suffer from this disability; and if you did and overcame it, how did you do it? Was hoping that Toronto had some support groups but couldn't find any.

Could we found a clinic? Perhaps on Jerry Fallwell's grave?

 

[brogalldude]

First time I've heard of this condition and it's obviously psychological. A psychologist or behavior therapist is the obvious place to start to get help with this. I think your condition might be too niche to have a dedicated support group for it.

Are you unable to use a toilet stall with other people in the bathroom? Or do you experience this only when you're at a urinal? I don't have your condition, but I do find urinals to be awkward even when there's a partiation besides them. Plus, there's always the risk of splash back

It's definetly psychological. I just thought that through time, I might be able to mentally overcome it; which hasn't happened. I don't ever use the urinals unless the rest room is completely empty, but if there are people around, I usually always just bee line directly to the toilet stalls. But if either of the toilet stalls next to me are occuppied (I can see their feet), the close proximity will not allow me to urinate.

 

[explorerzip]

It's definetly psychological. I just thought that through time, I might be able to mentally overcome it; which hasn't happened. I don't ever use the urinals unless the rest room is completely empty, but if there are people around, I usually always just bee line directly to the toilet stalls. But if either of the toilet stalls next to me are occuppied (I can see their feet), the close proximity will not allow me to urinate.

Then your only solution is a professional therapist and time. Hope it works out for you.

 

[Ponderling]

There is a thing for hang ups with #2 as well.
Many years ago me and my bestie high school bud and his bud from college rented a dumpy fish camp cabin for a week, about 5 hours drive from GTA.

Dude #3 got way more uncomfortable as the week wore on.
See, it turned out he had a hang up about taking a shit in other than is at home bathroom.

 

[xmontrealer]

There is a thing for hang ups with #2 as well.
Many years ago me and my bestie high school bud and his bud from college rented a dumpy fish camp cabin for a week, about 5 hours drive from GTA.

Dude #3 got way more uncomfortable as the week wore on.
See, it turned out he had a hang up about taking a shit in other than is at home bathroom.

Why didn't he do what the bears do?

 

[Muchadoaboutnothing]

For sure its psychological.

When I was younger, with a good strong stream, there was no issue.

Now, as a very old guy, with a weak stream, I'm a bit embarrassed about the "trickle" noise so I go into a stall to pee sitting down, and the trickle noise isn't evident.

Another solution might be to stick my leg into the toilet bowl while standing up, and just pee down my leg, but I prefer my first choice...

You can turn the tap on if you need to.
I suggest hypnosis. Maybe something happens that is stopping your flow The river within.

 

[Dirkpit]

Just get over it. Ain’t nobody got time for that. You think the dude at the next urinal gives a fuck? Can’t say I’ve ever cared what stream the next guy was making. I used to have an issue speaking in public…. I got older and realized that nobody really cares…even if I made a fool of myself, they would forget about it in 5 minutes. As a general rule, people only care about themselves.

 

[explorerzip]

Just get over it. Ain’t nobody got time for that. You think the dude at the next urinal gives a fuck? Can’t say I’ve ever cared what stream the next guy was making. I used to have an issue speaking in public…. I got older and realized that nobody really cares…even if I made a fool of myself, they would forget about it in 5 minutes. As a general rule, people only care about themselves.

OP's been struggling with this for 40+ years. Just getting over it isn't working for him.

As a general rule, you should get help if you are struggling with problems for years or decades.

It's also a general rule for you to read past the first sentence of a post before replying.

 

[IM469]

I have not heard of this condition but I would be curious in bringing a number of the same afflicted people together to find out if they share a common past memory surrounding urinating. I would be curious if their parents shared a similar philosophy in child potty training / bed wetting. Was shame a major tool ?

 

[Muchadoaboutnothing]

I have not heard of this condition but I would be curious in bringing a number of the same afflicted people together to find out if they share a common past memory surrounding urinating. I would be curious if their parents shared a similar philosophy in child potty training / bed wetting. Was shame a major tool ?

I have read studies on this for children with colic and also it’s related to if children are premature or not and how the organs develop in uterus can have an effect on this too.
children who were rushed to potty for various reasons such as needing to get to the babysitter or not trusting who they were with in the washroom or worrying about someone looking under the stall etc have issues of holding it in. Or even just being dissociated from the body sensations and how muscles contract and such.