Parental Leave - bad for your career?

[r_u_n_v_us]

Guys,

I have a coworker that just came back from a 4 month parental leave. His wife couldn't afford to take much time off from her mat leave as she's a career woman herself. After coming back, he's told me that he feels management has been treating him a little different ie. no special projects, no words of encouragement etc.

We work for a company where execs are very "old boys club". I'm thinking that if I ever do have kids, that this isn't a wise option to take.

Thoughts?

 

[Nofah Kingway]

That means your employer is an asshole, especially in today's standards. If you do plan on taking parental leave, give them plenty of notice and be flexible, so if they ask if you can work from home a few hours here and there and participate on certain phone calls, do that, hire a sitter if you have to or ask your wife to take that day off. This way, you are flexible to the employer and most importantly you stay in the game while you are gone, very important, if you are not heard or seen, you will be forgotten.

Guys,

I have a coworker that just came back from a 4 month parental leave. His wife couldn't afford to take much time off from her mat leave as she's a career woman herself. After coming back, he's told me that he feels management has been treating him a little different ie. no special projects, no words of encouragement etc.

We work for a company where execs are very "old boys club". I'm thinking that if I ever do have kids, that this isn't a wise option to take.

Thoughts?

 

[Cycleguy007]

You have to ask yourself...

What is best for my child? If the answer is "Stay at work" for fear of losing ground with your employer, then you have 2 other MORE important questions to answer:

1. Should I really be thinking about having kids? (Since your priorities lie elsewhere...)

2. Do you really want to be employed by an employer that would do such a thing...

IMHO, the career path one chooses to pursue, is the means to the end. In other words, don't let your job be the end all to be all in your life. Family/ relationships/ and especially having children and raising a family of your own is one of life's most rewarding experiences. THAT should ALWAYS take priority over all else.

Just my nickels worth.

 

[Keebler Elf]

If you do plan on taking parental leave, give them plenty of notice and be flexible...

Quoted for truth.

If you blindside them, it's far more likely that they'll resent you for it and cause repercussions for you when you come back.

 

[rama putri]

Thoughts?

This old world thinking has to change. Employees have to stand up or they get what they deserve. On the other hand, it could just be in your colleague's mind?

 

[rama putri]

if you're a guy yes. I certainly wouldn't want to promote you too high if you're going to take parental leave. We might be in the middle of huge project and if you take parental leave...we'd be fucked so you'd stay in a position where you could be replaced easily.

And if I were your manager, I'd fire you.

 

[train]

Depends on where you are and what your career is. My first reaction was that in all selfishness I would have been happier having the co-worker's wife work for me than the co-worker. Between the two of them they they had obviously decided that she was the more important one career-wise.

I don't see anything wrong with being Mr Mom but you can't expect to combine that with a meteoric career unless you are truly exceptional. There aren't many high level positions where you can just disappear for 4 months. If you are doing something important you will have to be replaced and then when you come back the company is supposed to carry both of you? Fire your replacement ? Only the largest organizations can afford this. Not everyone works for the City or government.

On the other hand if you are middle management, with no aspirations for the corner office, in a decent sized organization it shouldn't matter one way or the other.

 

[tboy]

I don't know about men taking parental leave but when I worked corporate (quite a few years ago) it used to bug me to no end that this one woman had 3 kids and was ALWAYS on mat leave. Then she'd always be off taking one to the doctor, one sick, one to soccor practice, etc and was never penalized for it. Where us single guys never got any breaks.

Plus all the "baby shower" gifts, 1st birthday gifts, 1st tooth gifts. I finally had enough and said no to a bunch of them.....

I said to one of my buddies: Hey, I'm getting laid saturday night, start a collection for "Tboy's getting laid present" lol.....

 

[freedom3]

he will be out the door soon

If you are running a business, then you need people who treat the business as a priority.

When you go to your grocery store, you expect it to have food on the shelves, not to hear how there is no food but all the employees have very fulfilling family lives. That grocery store would go out of business very soon.

That guy who went on mat leave has no sense of reality if he felt that he was going to be treated as a heavy hitter after going on a mat leave.

 

[rama putri]

get real dude. that's how it works even if it's illegal. fire me? you wish LOL!

I know how it works. I direct multiple multimillion dollar projects globally and not one project has ever been compromised due to parental leave. Ever. My peers in my position agree across multiple industries. It's idiot lemmings like you that perpetuate the myth that need to STFU and get get fired.

 

[SecretRendezvous]

My brother took paternal leave when my nephew was born for 3 months, and compassionate leave for 6 weeks when my mom passed{weeks before and 4 weeks after}. He never had an issue and was treated completely well both times.

 

[r_u_n_v_us]

Wow...lively discussion.

I recall over hearing a conversation between a manager and his peers regarding a female subordinate being the bread winner of her family while her husband stayed home watching the kids. His comment - I guess I know who wears the pants in the family!

Old world mentality won't ever change...no one wants to deviate from the norm in the fear of losing their job or being black listed.

 

[Cycleguy007]

If you are running a business, then you need people who treat the business as a priority.

When you go to your grocery store, you expect it to have food on the shelves, not to hear how there is no food but all the employees have very fulfilling family lives. That grocery store would go out of business very soon.

That guy who went on mat leave has no sense of reality if he felt that he was going to be treated as a heavy hitter after going on a mat leave.

Who said you can't do both... no one is suggesting employees ignore their responsibilities at work either. BALANCE is the key to happiness.

 

[SecretRendezvous]

But let me ask you this, how many of those who've taken paternal leave have reached the very top? or are at least on that track and you are sure will be there sooner or later. not many I'd wager.

I guess my post was missed. I said my brother. He was working his way up the company. He is a work horse. When he is working, it is 6 days week with tons of over time, all the time.

It is not the company, it is not the leave being taken, it is the person. If you are a hard worker, mature, responsible, personable, then you can have actually have both. The time needed for family, and the job and respect of your fellow workers.

 

[Cycleguy007]

Precisely...

It is not the company, it is not the leave being taken, it is the person. If you are a hard worker, mature, responsible, personable, then you can have actually have both. The time needed for family, and the job and respect of your fellow workers.

The best of the best always have a way of rising to the occasion when the need arises- regardless of the application.

When at work try and be the best at what you do, when at home try and be the best husband/ father, or wife/ mother.

It really is that simple.

 

[nottyboi]

North American attitudes are pretty primitive in this respect. If you take parental leave, the attitude is, "well, if we can do without you, why do we need you?" Of course this is an idiotic attitude. Everyone is replaceable (well maybe guys like Steve Jobs are not...but that is a whole different world) Yet...even when Jobs left to get his purchased liver installed... he was welcomed back with open arms. Employer attitudes are quite primitive. Just because someone can be replaced, does not mean they are valuable.

 

[djk]

What pisses me off is the perception that single or childless workers should step up and cover the work of those with children have to leave work early, etc.

 

[rama putri]

Yeah sure dude...you'd get fired before me. I can guarantee you that. It's happened before. I'm that good. Btw, I'm so impressed that you direct multimillion dollar projects (sarcasm).

But let me ask you this, how many of those who've taken paternal leave have reached the very top? or are at least on that track and you are sure will be there sooner or later. not many I'd wager.

LMAO I'm so sorry for your pathetic life you have think like this. I pity you.

 

[rama putri]

You're funny. Immature. Naive. Even stupid. But funny.