http://hugin.sigusr1.org/~pakin/complaint
Goober McFly's practices are thoroughly disgusting -- so much so, that if there are any children or sensitive people reading this letter, I suggest that they stop now and not read what I am about to describe. For starters, Goober's artifices are like an enormous interventionism-spewing machine. We must begin dismantling that structure. We must put a monkey wrench in its gears. And we must operate on today's real -- not tomorrow's ideal -- political terrain, because Goober says it is within his legal right to con us into believing that diabolism and revanchism are identical concepts. Whether or not he indeed has such a right, Goober's prophecies have caused widespread social alienation, and from this alienation a thousand social pathologies have sprung. There are three fairly obvious problems with Goober's generalizations, each of which needs to be addressed by any letter that attempts to bring fresh leadership and even-handed tolerance to the present controversy. First, nothing would make Goober happier than to see me run around like a chicken with its head cut off. Second, his outrage at complaints about him is indicative of his self-esteem and value system. And third, his trained seals all have serious personal problems. In fact, the way Goober keeps them loyal to him is by encouraging and exacerbating these problems rather than by helping to overcome them. He really struck a nerve with me when he said that university professors must conform their theses and conclusions to his malodorous prejudices if they want to publish papers and advance their careers. That lie is a painful reminder that Goober is doing everything in his power to make me die in oppression, chaos, and despair. The only reason I haven't yet is that I believe in the four P's: patience, prayer, positive thinking, and perseverance. I can't predict the future, but I do know this: Life isn't fair. We've all known this since the beginning of time, so why is he so compelled to complain about situations over which he has no control? I don't pretend to know the answer, but I do know that he would have us believe that going through the motions of working is the same as working. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject.
If we let Goober regulate anarchism, then greed, corruption, and expansionism will characterize the government. Oppressive measures will be directed against citizens. And lies and deceit will be the stock and trade of the media and educational institutions. I guess that my take on this is that the central paradox of his imprecations, the twist that makes his expedients so irresistible to pestilential blood-stained criminals, is that these people truly believe that he is a model citizen. I feel that writing this letter is like celestial navigation. Before directional instruments were invented, sailors navigated the seas by fixing their compass on the North Star. But Goober wants me to stop trying to criticize the obvious incongruities presented by him and his apparatchiks. Instead, he'd rather I swallow his jeremiads whole, without question or quibble. Sorry, but I don't accept defeat that easily.
Churlish Neanderthals can go right ahead and convict me for saying that his recourse to conformism as a tactical modality for waging low-intensity warfare has been successful, but History, acting as the goddess of a higher truth and a higher justice, will one day smilingly tear up this verdict, acquitting me of all guilt and blame. Now, I don't mean for that to sound pessimistic, although my goal is to think outside the box. I might not be successful at achieving that goal, but I surely do have to try. There is no such thing as evil in the abstract. It exists only in the evil deeds of evil people like Goober. I myself want nothing more -- or less -- than to instill a sense a responsibility and maturity in those who usher in the rule of the Antichrist and the apocalyptic end times. To that task I have consecrated my life, and I invite you to do likewise. We must put inexorable pressure on Goober McFly to be a bit more careful about what he says and does. We must focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of a profligate agenda. And we must change the world for the better. Please join me in incorporating these words into our living credo.
