Needed: Computer Wizard

[magicmanofmassage]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6


I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall doesn't seems to be working on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)

___________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!


WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

 

[Jolee]

Lol

That hasd to be one of the funnies things i have read on here!!
Have a good one!
Jolee

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6


I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall doesn't seems to be working on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)

___________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!


WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

 

[Musketeer]

That hasd to be one of the funnies things i have read on here!!
Have a good one!
Jolee

Very clever post from a very clever guy! Lol!

 

[calloway]

Nice work Magic...

Delete your old files and clean your hard drive... push reset... tap F8 and start your new life up in safemode for the first little while.

 

[Musketeer]

Nice work Magic...

Delete your old files and clean your hard drive... push reset... tap F8 and start your new life up in safemode for the first little while.

Yes, and while you're at it, delete Wife O1 and go for Girlfriend 7.0. Lol!

She's worth it laddie! We know of whom you speak.....Lol!

 

[Luvver]

lol....great educational experience...tnx

 

[magicmanofmassage]

Nice work Magic..

Delete your old files and clean your hard drive... push reset... tap F8 and start your new life up in safemode for the first little while.

I'm all over that f'ing 8 key, thanks Calloway.

 

[joej]

That hasd to be one of the funnies things i have read on here!!
Have a good one!
Jolee

As a highly trained IT professional I highly recommend running a program called Jolee 1.0 in the background. While it is not exactly compatible with Wife 1.0 (or Girlfriend 7.0 for that matter) it does offer the user a very smooth ride through many of your computer activities. The key is only to let it execute in the background. Running it in parallel with Wife 1.0 could be fatal.

P.S. Another excellent program is Shauna 2.0 but I'll save that for another time.

 

[Musketeer]

Well done Magic! I enjoyed your post, very educational.

Wife 1.0 Operating Systems can be very finicky to work with, and are known at times to crash and freeze up. When their program Why are you late 2.2 runs, you will find that you may run out of memory. You need to also be careful that you don't get a virus. If this happens, you need to run anti-virus software 6.9. If this does not work, then I recommend a number of excellent "soft"ware such as Daisy 2.1, Shauna 1.1, Kaylyn 2.2, Jolee 3.4, Samantha 2.5, Mariah 2.5, or Victoria 3.3 to clean your "hard"drive of the problem. Be careful to not overheat your harddrive in the process.

Excellent and witty post MMofM. Now don't forget Spice 4.5 should the others not work for you. Although I'm pretty sure Shauna 1.1 is topping your list at the moment, in regard to 'soft' ware. Hope your 'hardware' is in top gear to handle the 'software' Lol!

 

[Anti]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6


I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall doesn't seems to be working on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)

___________________________________

Ahhh, posts like this make me glad I'm still young and single

 

[magicmanofmassage]

P.S. Another excellent program is Shauna 2.0 but I'll save that for another time.

Actually I can testify that Shauna 2.0 is like hitting the refresh button! Doesn't matter how you feel going in, you feel great coming out!!

They need to start making ATM machines built into your vehicle!

YMMV with women, my mileage is killing me on my truck lease.

 

[Stoo]

I stumbled across this old thread this morning, and it made me laugh as much this time as it did when I first read it months ago...

As someone who successfully uninstalled Wife 1.0 (...the charges for this seemingly simple operation were rather obscene, however...) and then having tried a series of ugrades from Girfriend 1.0 through Girlfriend 7.5, I have finally concluded that the afformentioned SP 1.0 variants (Kaylyn 2.2, Mariah 2.5, Erin 5.0 or Victoria 3.3) are a most satisfactory substitute. The only apparent downside is that they seem to cause my hard drive to melt down, but this problem is only temporary and it seems to rebound after letting my system cool down a little. Recently, I found one of my old favorites, Callista 6.9, and that has proven to be a nice find, although it really messes with my drive.

Once in a while, I try to install one of the Girlfriend variants again, but they always seem to be bundled with various Spyware elements which cause my system to have trouble running the substitutes mentioned above, so I uninstall it again. (Fortunately, this is fairly simple compared to uninstalling Wife 1.0) Over time, the SP variants can get pricey, but I just remember the service charges associated with the Wife 1.0 uninstall, and they seem like a bargain!