Need some help boys! Trying to date a civie!

[poorboy]

I'm located in the Vancouver area and this woman is in Regina. Met her a few years ago through a friend of a friend. We're both single at the moment, and I'm trying to convince her we should consider dating. A while ago, I made her mad because I asked around with her friends about what she was like, and she thought this was extremely nosy and an invasion of her privacy.

As a result, she's really putting me through the ringer wanting to know why I'm interested in her, what makes her so special that I've asked her out multiple times, am willing to travel to Regina to see her or fly her to Vancover. I told her because finding the right person is difficult, but she's not buying it. She also wants some reasons why she should be interested in me.

I told her I wanted to see her because I believe she is a good person and that she's an attractive woman. She's not a drug user, smoker, heavy drinker and doesn't have mental health issues or any criminal record. She's finishing up nursing, and is thinking about being a doctor. I also mentioned that I know we are both looking for a long term relationship.

As for me, I am employed in a stable job and earn right around $100K a year, and am also not into drugs, drinking, smoking, have no mental issues or problems with the law. I'm faithful and not lazy. I'm handy and she mentioned she knows I'm a good guy, but that sometimes I come across as having low self esteem. I haven't pointed out any of her character flaws of course, like her occasional self centredness, but do stand up for my position, which makes me sound like I have an excuse for everything.

What she's looking for is something in me that would ignite that spark in her and a more definitive reason why I'm interested in her.

I'm trying to get back onto civie street. Any ideas?

 

[Celticman]

Might not be meant to be

 

[frankcastle]

I hate to say it but if she has to ask you why she is not interested and not much can sway her on that.

Think about it. If she was interested she would have said sure come on down let's hang out.

If she is interested and is playing games like making you dance like a monekey she's going to be trouble down the road.

And many of the reasons for not dating her are not flattering.... not a drug addict or heavy drinker? You're basically saying your baseline is pretty low. I know what you meant but it just doesn't sound romantic.

On the bright side she hasn't flat out said no. In which case tell her that you don't have a sales pitch because you don't believe in "lines" and ask her what's the harm in one date?

Whoa hold the phone. re read your post she pointed out that she thinks you come across as having a low self esteem. Translation she thinks you're a pussy.

Move on to the next one, work on your confidence between now and then.

Or slay a bear with a knife made of your own nails and teeth.....

 

[poorboy]

I told her that a lot of people think I'm arrogant (which is true), and she said that a lot of arrogant people often have low self esteem. She has a degree in psychology, and from what I can tell, it seem's like I'm under analysis.

 

[domino1]

Why don't you date someone in Vancouver? There are lots of attractive girls there

 

[poorboy]

You know any? Hard to just randomly meet a girl.

 

[Celticman]

You know any? Hard to just randomly meet a girl.

Not as hard as your present journey You seem to be a specimen in her petrie dish at the moment !!

A great philosopher one said,

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose"

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

"Named must your fear be before banish it you can."

“Do or do not….there is no try”

(Yoda)

 

[domino1]

There are several ways to meet girls besides going to bars/clubs which never work for me. I joined the recreational volleyball or softball co-ed leagues that worked well. Also, I met few girls at the yoga class. Don't forget the charity club. There are lots of pretty girls volunteering there

 

[Ohyesuare]

Forget about it, she is not interested and even if she does settle for you it will not be a happy relationship.

 

[Rockslinger]

As our friend Andy would say: "YMMV".

Anyway, women are a strange specie. My contractor friend say they usually start every sentence with: "I am not happy blah, blah, blah." Also if you cum within the first 22 hours, it is premature ejaculation.

Good luck.

 

[peter4025]

I think that she is messing with your head.

 

[Butler1000]

Dude this chick lives in regina. If she is being picky/reserved then she probably has issues. You obviously have most of your shit together so if she doesn't see that then why chase?
Also the whole long distance thing is difficult. One of you has to give it all up.

Move on. Chase too much and they don't respect you.

Just my two cents worth. And ya I'm in a good long term relationship(with my rotten side occasionaly rearing its head!)

 

[Bobzilla]

You've said a lot of good things about her in your original post. Just email her a link to this thread.

 

[Rockslinger]

Move on. Chase too much and they don't respect you.

Yup, never look disparate.

 

[Celticman]

Yup, never look disparate.

Or desperate

 

[Rockslinger]

Or desperate

Yes, that too. Hee, hee, hee.

 

[Allejandro2011]

Your problem man is that you've never seduced her.

Otherwise, she would've jumped into the plane and be in your bed right now.

...or if guys pointed out, she is just not into you at all and if you didn't make good first impression
then most likely she never will be. Besides if that is thecase and even if you would manage to make
her fall in love with that first impression would at the end of the day would make you her follower, but
not the other around that should be with women, so they feel male specie with along with them and
do anything to you.

Plus remember you did point it out she is a psychologist, so she understand all that herself and it's
very difficult to play aroound girl like that, so my best advise just don't waste your time or try to
learn to pick up women and see what she is up to un a while. Most certainly you will even think of
yourself as what a hell did I find in her?

 

[mrsCALoki]

Y...Plus remember you did point it out she is a psychologist, so she understand all that herself and it's very difficult to play aroound girl like that, so my best advise just don't waste your time or try to
learn to pick up women ...

OP would scare the shit out of me if I was the girl. Fixation has nothing to do with love or even liking someone. Give the poor girl a break and stop stalking her, might be the kindest advice.

 

[Ceiling Cat]

Need some help boys! Trying to date a civie!

Have you tried the Radiocarbon dating test on her?

 

[wazup]

OP would scare the shit out of me if I was the girl. Fixation has nothing to do with love or even liking someone. Give the poor girl a break and stop stalking her, might be the kindest advice.

You`re a fucking lunatic.