Need SC Advice, Please.

[33709r]

I was in a downtown Ottawa SC yesterday, enjoying a few private dances with a most beautiful blonde. The interaction suggested that we were hitting it off, and she expressed (what I thought was) a genuine interest in getting together in the near future. I left with her phone number, and an invitation to have dinner over the Christmas holidays.

I'm a relative rookie at all of this, so my question to the experts is:

Is this a common ploy to extend the private dances, or is there a reasonable chance that her interest was legitimate?

I'd appreciate a little advice before I spend time pursuing this.

Thanks.

 

[Rachelle of paradise]

I have been an exotic dancer for the past seven years, I have danced all over Canada. It's hard to say if this girls interest is genuine, a very large part of dancing is making the client feel like you are really interested in him. However, most dancers will politely turn down a request to get together out of the club ( believe me, invations are frequent). So I think she may actually be interseted, way to go sounds like you made quite the impression. Especially if she gave you her number.Good Luck!!

 

[alan9080]

This has happened to me in the past and to other friends of mine. As long as you wine and dine her at fancy restaurants, take them on shopping trips, they will make you feel like they are madly in love with you. Once they clean you out, they will move on to another victim. I have a friend who lost his life savings, half of his pension and other assets. My advice to you is not to take your emotions when you go this clubs. Just enjoy the beer, food and the dancers.

 

[Ross Eyerie]

Alan has a good point man.... for the most part, they're there to make a living. It's all part of their salesmanship.

 

[Eric_TL]

Allan and Rachelle both make very valid points.

My advice is that if she gave you her number (and it's legit).... go for it.
However, be careful providing your own contact info until you know that her interest is sincere.

This has also happened to me in the past. Once was a $$ ploy that became obvious very quickly. However, I can think of three occasions where I got the opportunity to get to know a wonderful lady much better than I had a right to. Sure there were a few $$ involved (it's a biz), but they were also genuinely interested in some friendly companionship and fun times.

I have remained in contact with one of those ladies for over 10 years. We still get together once every couple of months to enjoy each other's company.

Best of luck to you.

Eric

 

[Tip-Drill]

This has happened to me in the past and to other friends of mine. As long as you wine and dine her at fancy restaurants, take them on shopping trips, they will make you feel like they are madly in love with you. Once they clean you out, they will move on to another victim. I have a friend who lost his life savings, half of his pension and other assets. My advice to you is not to take your emotions when you go this clubs. Just enjoy the beer, food and the dancers.

These are wonderful comments, absolutely wonderful, and oh so accurate. They reflect several of my own experiences to a tee but I'll confine my detailed comments to just two cases. There are exceptions of course but the exceptions are very few and far between.

I met a charming Haitian lady at the Playmate and Club 61 back in February (my first visits to a SC) and I gave her my business card (bad decision) and invited her to call me. She did indeed call me. We had a few meals together, she danced privately for me at my place and I paid her handsomely (no FS, just CBJ and HJ). Then came the "stories", e.g., "I can't pay my rent", "My cell phone fell into the toilet", "My handbag was stolen", "It's my birthday next week", etc. I fell for the stories hook(er), line and sinker! The legitimate private dancing cost me $1400 (4 sessions, no complaints there) but the "stories" cost me $2450 with absolutely nothing coming back to me in return. She then disappeared completely although she's probably still working at the Playmate and that awful Club 61 ... She's a very nice person to talk with and be with ..... just don't fall for her very creative "stories". Including additional "gifts" I spent a total of $4750.00 on this fine lady.

A few months later I met a Martiniquian hottie (a student) on Adult Friend Finder. Things started off quite well (BBBJ, HJ, FS @ $250/hour) but I failed to see the red flags until it was too late, things like "I need an MP3 Player" ($350) and "I have to pay my overdue tuition fees" ($2000 ....... yep, $2000!). After that things started going downhill but she still managed to get me to cough up $200 towards her rent, a $300 birthday gift (that was of my own volition) and a $200 emergency "I beg you" email money transfer. We had originally agreed that she would "work off" the $2000 tuition fee "loan" but that never happened. After the email money transfer she disappeared literally without a trace. No wonder she never wanted me to know where she lived .... I spent a total of $4800 on this fine lady.

I'm not really bitter as this is all part of life and life is a continual learning experience. However, I find it totally demoralizing that one human being can treat another human being like this. Whenever you try to genuinely help someone in need it always seems to backfire ...... Damn it, my wife wasn't such a bad person after all ...... !!

"Once bitten, twice shy", or so the expression goes, but in my case I've been bitten 5 or 6 times and I'm currently working on the 7th bite .... My savings have certainly taken a hit but, thankfully, my pension is still intact .... !!!

All of this reminds me of the 1973 song "PAINTED LADIES" by the Canadian singer Ian Thomas:
http://www.ianthomasband.com/

"Ooh ooh feeling fine mama,
PAINTED LADIES and a bottle of wine mama,
Ooh ooh feeling good mama
They took my money like I knew they would"

That's the way it is folks! If you want a lady with whom you have no real emotional attachment to give you some of the most intimate things that a woman can give to a man then you really have to pay for it .... no ifs, ands or buts (butts?) ...

 

[Rachelle of paradise]

It's not fair to generalise all dancers as gold diggers. Alot of genuine relationships have started in clubs.Having said that, you do need to be careful, because some will suck you dry. Just look for the signs, if she is asking for money alot, or right off, then she's more interested in your wallet then you.

 

[The Lurker]

Lol having been an Club addict for decades I would agree. There are alot of great women there just trying to earn a buck and have fun. I don't go looking to find a wife or a f***buddy. I go have a few and talk to some friends while they work.

That said I have heard lots of talk about what others do there. But you want some of the funniest stories? Talk to the lifers or the bartenders. Holy they can keep you in stiches with all the stories of horndogs that go.

 

[Rachelle of paradise]

There's no sex in the champagne room......LOL

 

[The Lurker]

Now that is an awsome tune! But, yes, yes there is. I've heard it... The funny part is the sheepish looks from the dudes when they walk out. Oh and yes the girls do talk! Thanks for giving me all the great laughs guys.

 

[pepsiman]

I spent years in the strip clubs :: and met many decent friends; but as with any relationship be careful .
I think if you live by the saying
:: Money and good looking women are closely related :: you will have a heads up on the situation to begin with .
I have spent alot of money on dancers but I knew what the score was before I started . In alot of cases the dancer has a boyfriend that SHE IS SUPPORTING and he is in the bar each nite too .Once you are a regular at a bar you get to know the girls that come and go and the guys that show up the same time as the girl .
As fro dating a dancer the funny part that I seen was as soon as a guy started dating the dancer the guy wanted the girl to quit dancing LOL .

 

[douggoodoo]

I think the expression you are looking for is "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me"

 

[The Lurker]

I think the expression you are looking for is "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me"

Neah. Really they are just people. Some want money, some don't. Hard to paint then all with the same brush. Well at least that is what I have found in 20+ years... Your Milage May Very.

 

[Winstoncup]

You better have deep pockets because this is gonna cost you. This is not someone who you met at the Westin. This is a game for her to make money. If you go for it don't show your cards man.

 

[daredevil]

I have not dated any dancers

Last year close to christmas at the Nuden I meet an amazing blond. She was tall, with long blond hair, thin and C or D enhanced breasts. The dance in the booth was the best I have had in Ottawa. It seemed we were it hitting off, but I ran out of money and had other commitments that night. I believe if I had stayed a little longer thing may have progressed, but like others have said you never know unless you try.

Good luck and I hope thinks turn out well
DD

 

[The Daulfin]

Like some others have already said, it's not fair to generalize with these girls because honest relationships do happen all the time. That being said, I suggest you protect yourself financially by establishing a budget of what you normally would be able to throw away at the SC and instead use that for dating purposes with this girl. That way you're not spending anything you wouldn't have anyways for the week/month and you can also tell if she is for real by if she will stick around. I would also suggest you keep this a secret because if she is genuine, she would be within her rights to be offended by the lack of trust.

 

[Svarr]

My favorite expression I heard on SexTV sometime ago:

"You can goto a SC and you'll get fucked, but you won't get laid"

 

[jimmyt]

Is this a common ploy to extend the private dances, or is there a reasonable chance that her interest was legitimate?

I'd appreciate a little advice before I spend time pursuing this.

Thanks.

Try to get laid, before you do anything else. Suggest you fuck before you go to the restaurant....if you get fucked, and continue to get fucked then the shopping/restaurants/bars are a fair trade off. Stop before you start to buy expensive stuff like jewelry, cars etc.

Lots of them (Maria D in Toronto, are you reading?) will come up with the wildest excuses why they cannot have sex with you...but they will, they cant wait for you baby......then another excuse, and so on.......

Sex, upfront, then see what they say.....

 

[smchitman]

Why not do the asking?

Here's a little something I'd do to "test the waters": ask her for money . If she lends you her hard earned money, then she is probably genuine!

 

[Tip-Drill]

It's not fair to generalise all dancers as gold diggers. Alot of genuine relationships have started in clubs.Having said that, you do need to be careful, because some will suck you dry. Just look for the signs, if she is asking for money alot, or right off, then she's more interested in your wallet then you.

Let's face it, in life there are several professions that have earned a "less than savoury" reputation, e.g., the proverbial "used car salesman" (ever seen a used car saleswoman?), lawyers, politicians, insurance agents, and the list goes on. It seems to me that exotic dancers, escorts and adult masseuses have earned the same sort of reputation over the years .... and I guess their clients have too ....

However, in all of these "less than savoury" professions there are many good people who carry their heads high above the rest and are honest and hardworking. It's obviously the same in the sex industry although, based on my own personal experiences, it's not easy to find someone who you can really really trust. After all, money has a dangerous tendency to corrupt people .........