Need help: Knocked a girl up, need to know my rights

[Mao Tse Tongue]

Not an escort, a girl I met on a weekend in Muskoka. Got drunk, she slid on top of me for like two minutes and "bang you're a daddy"

She's pregnant and now talking wistfully about keeping it. Fuck me.

There's a twist: another guy is involved.

So there's a 50/50 chance I'm the daddy. I know lots of you are going to get all Maury on me and scream "there's probably ten more guys you don't know about." No there's not (I can't say why I know but I do) and yes, I'm running to the Hassle Free to get myself checked for the laundry list of stuff, most notably the "Fuck me, all that anxiety for two minutes of pleasure" disease, which, amazingly, I'm cured for life of.

Now the serious: If this girl decides to have it, can she force me to have a paternity BEFORE the birth? I mean, BY LAW can she? I want her to feel the tension and social hazing of not knowing the baby's Daddy throughout the process, which will hopefully get her to come to her senses and abort abort. (The other guy is a rolling stone type dude, and already told her she's on her own.)

If she goes the full term and then has a baby, what happens after that? She obviously has to hire a lawyer, claim paternity and force me to supply blood tests in court, correct? She's pretty broke, and the headache and expense of all that may also sway her into aborting.

Please no drive-by asshole comments or moral lectures. I'm a grown man trapped in an adolescent's penis. Er, I mean, yea I fucked up, and it won't happen again officer. I will hire a lawyer, of course, in due time, but need some direct facts right now to ease my mind. Of course this must be a sticky on TERB, after all, lol.

Thanks for listening and please don't tell anyone I told you all, okay,

 

[lauram]

Oh Father Oh Father i've come to confess,
I've just left a girl in a terrible mess.
Her shirt is all shattered, her breasts are all bare,
There's a lump in her belly that should not be there.

Oh Son Oh Son with you i am vexed, when i was your age i used a durex.

Oh Father oh father don't be unjust, i used one too, but the stupind thing bust.

 

[a 1 player]

The long and short of it...

Get a paternity test once she is able to safely have one done.

If you are not the father, you are free and clear.

If you are the father, you have child support payments, (plus education, etc.) for many years to come. That is whether you ever see the child or not.

That is it in a nutshell.

 

[Ceiling Cat]

Let your lawyer do the talking.

Find out if you are liable, if you are found to be the father you have 18 years of responsibility. If it is the other guys kid, walk away.

 

[Mao Tse Tongue]

Guys, I'm asking a very particular question:

Can she order me to take a paternity pre-birth?

If I do a paternity asap, it will increase the likelihood she keeps it. If there's no paternity She will be getting pregnant and have to tell people that she doesn't know who the Daddy is, which will cause her shame.

 

[demien2k5]

Agree with A1 - and even if buddy told her she's on her own, the court will feel differently and can/will compel a paternity test if there is just cause, and lengthy provincially controlled support payment transfers will follow for at least the next 20 years. It is what it is. Sorry for your stress though Mao...

 

[Mao Tse Tongue]

Agree with A1 - and even if buddy told her she's on her own, the court will feel differently and can/will compel a paternity test if there is just cause, and lengthy provincially controlled support payment transfers will follow for at least the next 20 years. It is what it is. Sorry for your stress though Mao...

I'm well aware what's in store if I'm the Daddy. Thanks for your kind words. My cock is retracted. Even my Asian Fever has gone awol.

 

[demien2k5]

Sounds bizarre - your saying if its yours she'll keep it for $, but anyone else's and she'll abort!? Doesn't sound like the fact a child's life is involved longer terms makes any difference to the decision making process....? Not judging, just asking BTW

 

[Cycleguy007]

If (and i say this with the utmost of sincerity) you are the father... then instead of rights, you should be talking about your responsibilities.

Just my nickels worth.

 

[a 1 player]

Guys, I'm asking a very particular question:

Can she order me to take a paternity pre-birth?

That I do not know the answer to.

 

[Mao Tse Tongue]

If (and i say this with the utmost of sincerity) you are the father... then instead of rights, you should be talking about your responsibilities.

Just my nickels worth.

Well this is interesting topic which is sure to inflame many people, but here's my very politically unpopular belief:

I have no fucking say in whether she has the child, even though we both made the same mistake. Is that right? If you scan the Interwebs, you'll find this is a very contentious issue all over the world, but because we rightfully preserve a women's right to choose for reasons of power, safety, economics and lots of other reasons, men give up their power entirely once the magic shot has travelled down the canal. It's crazy, absolutely crazy.

I don't believe I have the right over a woman's body, since the kid's inside her and not me, but should I have no rights when a woman, for her own fucked up reasons, decides to chain me to a child for 18 years? Yea, yea, you play ungloved you pay the price. But oh what a price.

I also happen to be well off, which this chick knows. I'm her meal ticket. So don't talk to me about responsibilities at this early stage--I have none. Later, perhaps, but that's a long way away, and my odds are 50/50 divided in half, so 1 in 4.

Either way, I'm now in love with Internet Porn, with all of its non-responsibilities (well, save the standard monthly rebills).

 

[Mao Tse Tongue]

I doubt that the court will force you to take a test before the birth. It would seem pointless since you can't compare the result to the child until the child is born.

Not true. Apparently now all it takes is blood from the Mom after 14 weeks and a swab of my cheek and it's highly accurate and non-invasive.

 

[Mao Tse Tongue]

Sounds bizarre - your saying if its yours she'll keep it for $, but anyone else's and she'll abort!? Doesn't sound like the fact a child's life is involved longer terms makes any difference to the decision making process....? Not judging, just asking BTW

As mentioned, I'm well off and consider myself a thoughtful, caring person, so she knows, however back-of-her-mind, that I'll step up and it'll be a lot sweeter than with rolling stoner man.

But I truly and dearly want her to abort and I have no qualms about saying that.

 

[alexmst]

Pharaoh Ramesses II of Egypt, with his many wives and concubines, had over 100 children. So, if she wants to stay pregnant because you are well to do, Rejoyce! Your blood line has another standard bearer to carry on your genes into the future. Paying for the upbringing of said child is a small price to pay.

 

[prodigital]

my advice would be to contact a lawyer to answer any questions...or you can always contact ServiceOntario. you can find the tel# to their contact centre where the agents can assist you.

website should be www.serviceontario.ca

 

[alexmst]

Well this is interesting topic which is sure to inflame many people, but here's my very politically unpopular belief:

I have no fucking say in whether she has the child, even though we both made the same mistake. Is that right? If you scan the Interwebs, you'll find this is a very contentious issue all over the world, but because we rightfully preserve a women's right to choose for reasons of power, safety, economics and lots of other reasons, men give up their power entirely once the magic shot has travelled down the canal. It's crazy, absolutely crazy.

I don't know of any country where the man gets to have much say as to if the woman will abort. There have been some cases in the media where the man wanted the fetus brought to term, and the mother wanted to abort, and he tried to get a court order preventing the abortion. At least in such an instance he could get the pro-lifers on his side....public sympathy for a guy wanting a woman to abort when she didn't want to would not be too high I would think.

An even more interesting case would be what if the girl takes the discarded condom from the trash following sex, and after the guy leaves uses it and resorts to the turkey baster method of getting pregnant. Come to think of it, what if some other girl the guy didn't even have sex with takes the condom from the trash after guy and girl both leave and uses it to get pregant. Would she be entitled to child ssupport payments from the guy she didn't have sex with? I don't know the answer - just speculating.

 

[Schon]

Lord willing if you are well off then dont tell her to abort a life inside her which is a sin. After the birth paternity test can be conducted, and you both would know the result, if you are the father of that child then full-fill your responsibilities & if you are not then its your goodluck too.
Hope being a well off man, you can bear this much of responsibility on your shoulders being a responsible gentleman. Goodluck.

 

[redleg609]

As mentioned, I'm well off and consider myself a thoughtful, caring person, so she knows, however back-of-her-mind, that I'll step up and it'll be a lot sweeter than with rolling stoner man.

But I truly and dearly want her to abort and I have no qualms about saying that.

This leads me to believe that she is in it for the money. She may be amenable to a monetary settlement that includes an abortion.

An attorney should be consulted. If you are well off, you can afford one. It is worthwhile to consider what the cost of the 24 years of support + education is. An offer that discounts the actual cost of raising a child and educating one, whatever percent might be yours - certainly not all, that might be your upper boundary of an offer. Naturally, your first offer should be much lower. Because, of course, what your portion is, she will have a portion too. Plus, of course, the rigors of custody. The responsibility, changing the nappies, wiping the nose, ensuring the homework is done.

An attorney can point out all those things.

bottom line, don't do this yourself, get a lawyer.

 

[Alexis_2]

An even more interesting case would be what if the girl takes the discarded condom from the trash following sex, and after the guy leaves uses it and resorts to the turkey baster method of getting pregnant. Come to think of it, what if some other girl the guy didn't even have sex with takes the condom from the trash after guy and girl both leave and uses it to get pregant. Would she be entitled to child ssupport payments from the guy she didn't have sex with? I don't know the answer - just speculating.

Now I know your imagination is more active than mine.

 

[Mao Tse Tongue]

This leads me to believe that she is in it for the money. She may be amenable to a monetary settlement that includes an abortion.

An attorney should be consulted. If you are well off, you can afford one. It is worthwhile to consider what the cost of the 24 years of support + education is. An offer that discounts the actual cost of raising a child and educating one, whatever percent might be yours - certainly not all, that might be your upper boundary of an offer. Naturally, your first offer should be much lower. Because, of course, what your portion is, she will have a portion too. Plus, of course, the rigors of custody. The responsibility, changing the nappies, wiping the nose, ensuring the homework is done.

An attorney can point out all those things.

bottom line, don't do this yourself, get a lawyer.

Yea, the buy out phase MAY come later. It could easily backfire on me. I believe I can work her using other angles well ahead of that, like the shame, no-one-knows-the-daddy angle.