Need Help Helping a Stressed Friend

[parry]

Last night my best buddie of 20 years tells me he`s out of money by the end of this month and breaks down crying and ends up telling me he`s having anxiety attacks and is so stressed he can`t think straight. I know about four years ago he was stressed out working a job he really hated while at the same time watching his father die of cancer and thinking that his father was going to die knowing his son was unhappy which of course added more stress. 4 months after his fathers death he got a good job at a good company which he found troubleing because his father was gone and he couldn`t share it with him. He said it took him about a year to "calm down" and that he felt good ever since. Then over a year ago he was laid off and hasn`t found steady work since, but up till now he hasn`t seemed stressed or anxious or depressed. Till this week when he says it hit him like a wave.

Now what I could use help on is what i`ve found on the internet today and what i`m going to suggest he does monday morning.
He should go to Family Services for Credit Counselling, hopefully they can show him something positive.
Apply to Ontario Works for assistance. Don`t know what else I can suggest except dinner with us tomorrow.

I`ve read that a single guy will only get a maximum $520 a month and must report any money he receives from friends or family to be deducted. Is that true?

If anyone has any suggestions or advice it would be greatly appreciated. I want to do whatever I can for the guy, but financially I can`t help much, I wish I could my whole family loves him especially my kids.

Well thanks for taking the time to read all this and any feedback would be great. I thought my boys were stressfull,but i`m starting to understand how tired he looked, as I`m completely exhausted from today and I`m going to bed

Thanks
Parry

 

[kbluejayk]

The Credit Counselling is a good place to start, as this seems to be a major source of his stress. Also, if he is being hounded by creditors the CC people may get them off his back! They will also analyse his entire situation and give him better advise than any of us on this board. He is fortunate to have good supportive friends like yourself to encourage him and give him emotional support! hope things work out for your friend!

 

[parry]

Thanks all for the replies. We`ll just have to see what monday brings.

 

[Mufflicker]

I'd make sure that I checked in on him often even if he seems alright. Also make sure he has a place to be during "Family holidays", I'm thinking Thanksgiving and Christmas.

 

[Dabbler]

If your friend is unable to work for an extended period of time due to his high level of anxiety he may be eligable for long term disability. The eligibilty criteria for this program is fairly strict and you have to initially start with an Ontario Works application followed by a minimum 6 month wait. Your friend will need the involvement of his GP and other treatment professionals to fill out the neccessary paperwork and if approved would be eligable for up to $940 monthly. Winston's point about providing a doctors note for Ontario Works is a good idea as he may be excluded from some of the job search or volunteer requirements.

 

[LeatherDoll]

Ummmm

If he was laid off, what is his situation with respect to Employment Insurance. He needs to get to HRDC and register for their services. Check back with his employer's human resources department .. they should have had transition programs in place, but it seems he may have slipped through getting himself into the system. HRDC will be able to assist in a number of capacities.

Second, he needs to get to his physician. He needs an appointment with a mental health specialist for an assessment - he may be suffering from depression. Even if he is not clinically depressed and requiring medication, he certainly needs to be involved insome sort of supportive and directive counselling.

Between the HRDC and the physician he should be able to start to chart a plan of activities that will help guide him -- so he doesn't feel like he is drifting.

There are a myriad of supports and services available - more infomation is really required in order to suggest the most appropriate course of action. PM me for more details, please.

Good for you for reaching out.

The world will look a whole lot different for him after the slew of phone calls that are about to be made ...

 

[shinyam]

Can you let him stay at your place for a while, until he gets back on his feet? Rent is a huge expense, and by letting him live rent free, you are relieviing a huge financial burden from him. Then it is just a matter of time before he finds a job (any job) so that he can support himself and pitch in to help pay the bills.

It's important to be there for your friend now. This is your chance to prove your friendship to him.