message to the men on the board ...

[syn]

please. please. please.

give some extra personal space to women when you are out in public.

don't walk closely behind a woman walking alone, especially at night.

don't stand ridiculously near a woman when you are waiting to use the bank machine.

and at night - think about leaving the public parking spaces close to the pedestrian exit/entrance free for women to use. i hate having to walk down flights of stairs alone in a parking garage ...

i sometimes get so agitated, i almost hyperventilate. yet, almost always i feel that the guy who has made me feel threatened has remained oblivious to my fear ...

syn

 

[Scarey]

I always....

always do just that. I feel the same discomfort about personal space and proximity distance myself.Heck I've crossed the street instead of trying to pass a lady(I tend to walk fast.

 

[hambone]

Gee Syn I guess I'm the oblivious one, never thought about it. I will however, volunteer my services to escort you about as penance for my misdeeds.

H.

 

[gramage]

this seems a little obvious to me, give anyone space, especially a lone woman in a city like Toronto. I know I get really clautrophobic if people crowd me, and I can only imagine how a lone woman might feel in that kind of situation.

 

[Average Joe]

Personal space is a cultural thing. Some cultures don't imploy the same rules with regards to personal space.

I live in an area of the city that has a lot of asians and I find myself feeling crowded in the line up at the bank machine or the grocery store. Their definition of personal space is very different than mine. Not wrong, just different.

We should all take syn's adivce and try to be more considerate of others and be a bit more aware of how our actions affect those around us.

 

[Goober Mcfly]

Gee Syn I guess I'm the oblivious one, never thought about it. I will however, volunteer my services to escort you about as penance for my misdeeds.

H.

Hambone's escort service.

 

[hambone]

Hambone's escort service.

Reasonable rates too!

 

[Average Joe]

...most Asian's have no idea what personal space means. Now, compared to Asian's I'm a very big guy and I find myself constantly asking them to back off and give me some space. One old asian lady was actually pushing me when I was in a line up. I asked her to please stop, she kept on pushing up against me. Finally I had enough and yelled at her. Never done that to an older person ever but she had it coming.

I had to do the same thing to a guy who was practically standing in my shoes.

A few years ago I saw behavioural psychologist, I can't remember the show, but he was talking about personal space and how we North Americans seem to need more space around us than Europeans and especially Asians. To illustrate it he asked two people to stand close to each other and move away until they were comfortable. When they stopped they were told to reach out and try to touch the other person. They were each just beyond the others reach.

Never has keeping someone "at arms length" had more meaning.

 

[Cool Dude]

Just to be safe, Im going to stay away from this thread, thus giving all of you the space you need.

 

[Malibook]

It's even worse when the person has repulsive body odour and noxious bad breath.


Do you guys have a problem when the person crowding you is a beautiful woman?

 

[OrganicFan]

Do you guys have a problem when the person crowding you is a beautiful woman?

Damn hot it would have been! Has it ever happend to any of the guys? I'll bet it has not.

 

[torex]

I always try to avoid walking behind a lone lass because I know that makes them nervous especially so when there are very few others around. Instead, I speed up, smile and say hi as I pass and walk in front of them and I know it makes them feel more secure. As for the ATM's I usually turn my back to them regardless of whether it is male or female if I am the only one waiting.


Average Joe, Yes you are correct, most Asian's have no idea what personal space means. Now, compared to Asian's I'm a very big guy and I find myself constantly asking them to back off and give me some space. One old asian lady was actually pushing me when I was in a line up. I asked her to please stop, she kept on pushing up against me. Finally I had enough and yelled at her. Never done that to an older person ever but she had it coming.

Have to agree with you there Sheik! I never walk directly behind a lady! especially at night!

It's funny how certain groups of people have different views of personal space!

I have a 92 yr old grandfather who loves horse racing,He's been going to Woodbine racetrack for many many many years!! there are only a couple employees left there that know him from over the years.He laughs telling me" I'm the only one left all my racing buddies are dead!!"like I said at 92 my grandfather is a freak of nature.He still takes the bus up there,no cane ,walker,chair.He's as strong as bull and still very independent,still has his own apt etc.
anyway he complains to me about the asians at the track pushing him in the betting lines!he also tells me he leaves his hat and jacket at his regular chair, he'll come back from placing bets and Asians always take his table.one time a certain few just threw his stuff on the floor! well he may be 92 but he's pretty feisty,of course there was a communication problem! I mean I don't think most really mean to be this way ??maybe comming from such an over populated place they don't realize personal space or the saving of a seat?as for the bus he's told me that if it's crowded they'll almost sit on your lap!!,,lol

I really think it's just the difference of where you come from!I've travelled all over Europe and in many countries the buses are jammed like cans of sardines and nobody complains!everybody is so used to the crowding!

here in N.A though we all love our personal space!

Do you guys have a problem when the person crowding you is a beautiful woman?

never!!!!

Syn! for now on I will always leave that prime parking spot and think of you!

 

[Baddboy]

Personal space

Weather it be man or woman, elder or child. We should all respect one anothers space. Every one has there personal limit or some shall say 'aura' this space should be respected. Never entered unless invited, remember give respect to others and respect shall come to you. Carma ya know?
I personally feel violated when strangers assume they are welcome in my space, I can only imagine the feelings of a woman walking alone and her space is envaded. It's not nice....don't do it.


Just my 2 cents!! Cheers!

 

[tboy]

Space, the final frontier, these are the voyages of the....

oops wrong type of space....

Here's something else you may want to consider (just thought of this while reading the posts).

I just got back from an extended road trip (4400 kms in 3 weeks) and while travelling back from Louisiana I noticed a young lady in a compact car keeping pace with me. We passed each other a number of times and I noticed she was alone. I mean, we travelled the same interstate for about 3 hrs. Some pretty desolate areas we went through.

Well, I paid attention to how far back, or in front she was, and made sure I kept pace, you know, just in case anything happened.

I didn't think of it then but maybe she noticed and was worried? I mean, my intentions were totally honorable and I was sure we must have been heading to the same destination and was thinking, what the hell do I say if we hit the gas station at the same time? (it was a LONG trip lemme tell ya, I had plenty of time to think).

My question to the ladies on this site is this:

If you were at a gas station on an interstate, if a guy was pumping gas next to you and he said "Hi there, I noticed we were both travelling at about the same speed, along the same route, where you heading? I'm heading to ________ want to keep an eye on each other?

Would you be like totally freaked out by this?

 

[Don]

maybe comming from such an over populated place they don't realize personal space or the saving of a seat?

Exactly. A lot of those major asian cities are so densly populated that they are used to getting by with little space. Also, because of the overpopulation, if you don't learn to be aggressive in line and assert yourself, you'll never get anywhere or get anything. Kinda like city driving. Gotta be agressive to get around otherwise you'll never get anywhere. I see people from small towns who are trying to drive in big cities like NYC and they are waiting for someone to let them into a lane.... and they wait forever!

On a side note however some asian cities and cultures are more respectful of space or privacy than others, such as Japan. Tokyo is one huge city but people are mostly polite and never push or shove or are rude. Quite a contrast from the Chinese where if you go to Shanghai or better yet Hong Kong. People are a lot more pushy and less respectful of your space. Since a lot of the asians here are from Hong Kong, it makes sense that they fit into this catagory

 

[iguana]

As an old Asia hand, I know full well that pushing people is considered fine in some places in Asia (and no "sorry" or "excuse me" is required). Also on a recent trip there, I was in a laughingly busy subway car, with 4 people pushing into me. Luckily 3 of them were women, and one seemed to be pushing her ass very hard into mine. It was 5 very close minutes between the two of us, and I found it quite fun.
That said, I always cross the road if I'm behind a woman at night. Also I intensionally make noise when I approach someone from behind before I get to them, so they're not surprised when I pass.

 

[2sexxxy]

and at night - think about leaving the public parking spaces close to the pedestrian exit/entrance free for women to use. i hate having to walk down flights of stairs alone in a parking garage ...

This is the only point that seem a little unrealistic. Parking spots are first come first serve. I for one am not going to go around and around for a parking spot when one is free.

 

[Don]

Re: Re: message to the men on the board ...

This is the only point that seem a little unrealistic. Parking spots are first come first serve. I for one am not going to go around and around for a parking spot when one is free.

I agree. It is one thing to do little things to help women (or anyone) feel more comfortable but you shouldn't have to go out of your way and inconvienence yourself for someone elses benefit.

To shift gears a bit... this thread is a bit of change of attitude of the growing sentiment of women feeling that they are as good as men and want to be treated equally. I actually have some female friends who are jokingly like "I'm not a little girl! I can take care of myself. Not all women are helpless and need men to take care of us!" when I offer to walk them home because it is dark at night.

 

[tboy]

Very good point don, I hadn't considered that aspect! But now that you've brought it up, I know of a couple of women who not only would refuse an offer like that, but would be offended by it.

I guess this is another one of those "things" between men and women that makes us damned if we do, and damned if we don't.


(rock) men (hard place)


hehehehhehe (couldn't resist)