Oh, poow widdle Matt got his feelings hurt because his ex said he was packing a roll of tar paper. How will he ever recover emotionally from this trauma, without an out-of-court settlement?
Maybe he could create something like a TikTok challenge, but on Onlyfans. There are college-aged girls all over the US who would jump at the chance to prove that he could ' boldly go where some men had gone before ', not to mention the virtual trophy and twenty bucks prize money up for grabs.