Letter To An EX

[GlavaMan]

Dear Terri:
I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each
other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't
wait anymore.

The day you left, l swore I'd never talk to you again.

But that was just the wounded little boy in me
talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make
contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would
come crawling back to me. l guess my pride needed
that.

But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things.
I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care
about looking bad anymore. l don't care who makes the
first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time
we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And
this is what my heart says...

"There's no one like you, Terri."

I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman
I see, but they're not you. They're not even close.

Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Rainbow Room and
brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt
you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits you wouldn't believe and an butt
like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this coed, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so surface. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a
better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.
Later, after I'd tossed her about a quart of throat
yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so
drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling
feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And
then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you
weren't there, Terri, to watch.

Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same
without you, baby. Jesus, Terri, I'm just going crazy
without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

 

[GlavaMan]

continued...

Do you remember Carol, that single mum we met at
Mt.Sinai Baptist Church? Well, she drops by last week
with a pan of lasagne.She said she figured I wasn't
eating right without a woman around. I didn't know
what she meant till later, but that's not the real story.

Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next
thing you know we're kissing in our old bedroom. And
this broad's a total monster in the sack. She's giving
me everything, you know like a real woman does when
she's not hung up about God and her career and whether
the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the
floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch
ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad
too 'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Terri
ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for, what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid." (Some of this I thought about later.) You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine
of a marriage and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself. That's the saddest part of all for me.

But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want this stuff with you. Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Shannon's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me
lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She's pulling for us to get back together, Terri. She really is.)
So we're drinking in the hot tub and talking about
happier times. Here's this hot girl with the same DNA as you
(although, let's face it, she got an extra helping of the sexy gene) and all I can do is think of how much she looks like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Shannon's really into the whole anal* thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it. And how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between
us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside the steaming hot Dutch oven of your sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, baby. In your heart you know it.

 

[GlavaMan]

Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all
the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep
thinking that I think if you'd just try it, I wouldn't have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Terri? It just tears us apart. And I can't be apart from you.
Because I love you, God help me but I do.

Yours,
Bill

 

[kooley]

rofl

 

[dickydoem]

What a moving letter. If this doesn't get her back nothing will. lol

 

[hedway]

A wonderful testimonial, straight from the heart.

 

[Brigitte]

*ring, ring* Bill picks up the phone.

Bill? It's me Terry, I read your note and you're right, I wasn't a real woman during our relationship. You deserved so much more. Let me come over and make it up to you.

Oh Bill, if only you could see how much I've changed (violins begin to play) You'd see that I've been practising my blow jobs techniques with your brother. I'm good at it now Bill, I swear I am! Your brother made me practice for hours. We both wanted to make sure that I was perfect for you.

And Bill (music begins to swell) my chocolate starfish is nice and loose now. Your mother used a butt plug to train my ass to take your cock, whenever you want. Oh Bill, I'm ready for you to fuck both my wholes the way that you wanted.

I'm sorry that I wasn't the little fuck slut that you needed. Your father has helped me to see the error of my ways. He rode me night and day (and sometimes in the afternoon) with his immense cock. It was huge and nearly split me in two, but I did it for us Bill.

I know that for 14 years, I wasn't the best wife that I could be. But your family has helped me to be a better person, take me back and you'll see.

 

[hedway]

For some reason this reminds me of that scene in the movie Old School where Will Ferrell's character is looking in the window of his house a few days after his wife has dumped him. She has a bunch of her girlfriends over for a "learn how to give a blow job party". The instructor is a gay guy and the educational prop I believe is a banana.

Anyway his wife is going to town on the banana but the camera angle makes it look like she's doing the guy.

Just thought of that while reading Bridgitte's comments.

 

[The Doctor]

sniff...get's ya right there...sniff

That was beautiful GMan.

 

[Snook.fr]

ZZZzzzzzz...
Waking up...

Sorry...Did I miss anything?

 

[MindJohn]

at least this becomes one of my 5 required posts

When do we get to know whether this is sincere or fiction?

At first I was leaning toward compassion for the writer but when it became clear how he treats and regards women then that went out the window.

The grinning face on the subject line sorta gives away the answer to the "fact or fiction" question. And surely the 321 terb posts by the seeming author, well, lets just say that if spaced evenly over 5 years, he'd qualify to remain a TERB member through 2008.

If it were sincere, the placement of the letter on the TERB message board would imply that the intended recipient has cause to travel through these hallowed halls.

Women everywhere can gain helpful understanding from the written words given the newly discovered chance that the men staring at your breasts are simply looking for other women there.

Personally I want to imagine that Terri, whoever she is, would indeed believe the tits on the nineteen-year-old sexual conquest and that said woman's perfect body made her better (than at least Terri) in bed.

Maybe Terri's diet is missing the "throat yogurt" which was so rich and plentiful in her past. No wonder she cannot at this time see the light...

In Terri's next relationship, she's sure to use her GRANDMOTHER'S MIRROR as a sex aide!! Why hadn't she only thought of that sooner?

I really like how the kid sister is said to have "the same DNA as" Terri. Guess you can start to unearth some of the things which really caused this relationship to unravel.

Meanwhile, wouldn't it make sense that TERB might get rid of the "5 post minimum" rule just to reduce the numbers who depend on communications like these to pad their numbers?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go find someone to shill for...

 

[Top Jimmy]

"Cinnamon Ring"...now thats funny!

He had me at "Throat Yogourt". I am still laughing out loud while typing that. I am literally in tears. This was beautiful. A potential Post Of The Year.