Jenesis,
Maybe you should be a cartoon super hero. You could wear your purple outfit, maybe add a cape and boots and call yourself Girth Woman. You can appear at the scene of a crime and bounce the perps into the wall with your girth and make a signature Baboomba sound.
The idea for this super hero came from my youth when my friends and I would drink under aged at a Polish social club that served alcohol. The regulars were older folks from the old country. One night a very large sturdy woman with huge HH tits offered loudly to one of the other regulars ( midget ) that he could touch her breast if he was man enough. She picked him up and sat him on a tall stool and pulled out her Whoppers. Every time he reached out she would pull back and he would topple the off the stool. After he fell about 10 times she offered to let him touch her tits, but only if he close is eyes. When he closed his eyes she swung the saggy water bags and knocked him off the stool. The enraged midget launched himself at her attaching his claws into her tits. There was a lot of yelling and screaming, when they got him off her, he went and got a beer mug and tried to beat her to death with it.
Ahh, good times!