Is my wife entitled to know about my sex life?

[bob4430]

After 30 years of marriage and 25 years of declining to almost zero sex, I feel that I am responsible for my own sex life. What I mean is that I make sure I have a good sex life and my wife long ago gave up the right to have an opinion on what I do or don’t do in this area.

My wife is great in other areas and I still love her.

The question is….do you think I am entitled to freedom in this area, and is she entitled to care?

 

[Sonic Temple]

Mate - after 25 year of declining to almost zero sex - wow - I'm not an expert on this this topic but from that statement alone - you gotta do you mate! My answer would be you are entitled your freedom, but that is coming from a guy who has freedom. I hear many stories like these where the sex life declines, is there any married gents who has been married this long where the sex is still fresh - is that even a thing?

 

[bazokajoe]

After 30 years of marriage and 25 years of declining to almost zero sex, I feel that I am responsible for my own sex life. What I mean is that I make sure I have a good sex life and my wife long ago gave up the right to have an opinion on what I do or don’t do in this area.

My wife is great in other areas and I still love her.

The question is….do you think I am entitled to freedom in this area, and is she entitled to care?

Would she be entitled to the same if she went outside the marriage.

 

[bob4430]

Would she be entitled to the same if she went outside the marriage.

Yep

 

[bob4430]

Yep

Although there is one difference. I was always interested in a sex life with her. She has made it pretty clear that she is no longer interested in sex at all.

 

[xix]

I am curious to know the amount of marriages where the sex drops after the 2nd child. I heard stories.
I notice the only time women want it is before marriage and after divorce they get it from various sources not their fault. I have seen this.
What I also have seen it that after 50 - 55 years of age they don't seem to want it or even date. I call this entry to I don't want it or care for it.
Now if you do see women dating at this age, trust me they are the exception to my observation. I have seen this.

Would she be entitled to the same if she went outside the marriage.

I agree with him. Even if you brought it up to her, she will get suspicious of you and probably destroy you.

There are only 2 choices here, go as James Bond and have fun or don't.

 

[Mr.Know-It-All]

Another asexual housewife story.

It's what happens as a woman ages:

"The loss of estrogen and testosterone following menopause can lead to changes in a woman's body and sexual drive. Menopausal and postmenopausal women may notice that they're not as easily aroused, and they may be less sensitive to touching and stroking. That can lead to less interest in sex. "

 

[jcpro]

Why? Most long term marriages are successful when the partners can lead somewhat separate lives.

 

[ezpzezpz]

Yes you are entitled to your freedom in this area and your wife doesn't need to know anything. I'm in the same boat, married over 25yrs 2 grown kids and wife has no interest in sex. Fucking frigid.
If my wife kept asking me for sex and I kept saying no,no,no and constantly denied her, then she would have every right to go out and get fucked by someone else and I couldn't say shit! If I'm not going to do my job then someone else will! Well this works both ways brother!
I make sure I have a satisfying sex life by taking matters into my own hands and fucking beautiful young girls! And I fucking love it! No one is the wiser and I get what I need. If I hadn't discovered hobbying I'd be going crazy right now and severely sexually frustrated big time!
This is what I need, this is necessary, this is mandatory!
Keep on pounding boys!!!

 

[NotADcotor]

After 30 years of marriage and 25 years of declining to almost zero sex, I feel that I am responsible for my own sex life. What I mean is that I make sure I have a good sex life and my wife long ago gave up the right to have an opinion on what I do or don’t do in this area.

My wife is great in other areas and I still love her.

The question is….do you think I am entitled to freedom in this area, and is she entitled to care?

The question in your thread title is a bit different than what you are asking but...

If she refuses to play with Princess Sofia than she can't complain if you find someone else to do so. She only has the right to be possessive over Princess Sofia if she is actually using it on a regular basis. I'd imagine that a woman would have to be pretty repulsed by you or actively hate your guts to not be willing to even just lie there and let you do your business. If she isn't even willing to starfish for you...

As for if she should know.

I had the sex talk with my girlfriend about past partners. So I told her about everyone I have had sex with until her... and that is where I should have stopped
---Jimmy Carr

 

[y2kmark]

Would she be entitled to the same if she went outside the marriage.

She might be. The sentence is certainly entitled to a question mark..

 

[y2kmark]

Although there is one difference. I was always interested in a sex life with her. She has made it pretty clear that she is no longer interested in sex at all.

That's the catch 22 isn't it? The age old arrangement, and skip any religious mumbo jumbo please, is she enters into an arrangement to provide love and companionship, including sex, in return for security and protection. A legal framework has developed where everything in the union is 50-50 (theoretically anyway) except HER BODY IS HERS, period, full stop. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander, if she isn't holding up her end anymore there are two choices. Give up entirely or start looking elsewhere.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

 

[Beagle_]

After 30 years of marriage and 25 years of declining to almost zero sex, I feel that I am responsible for my own sex life. What I mean is that I make sure I have a good sex life and my wife long ago gave up the right to have an opinion on what I do or don’t do in this area.

My wife is great in other areas and I still love her.

The question is….do you think I am entitled to freedom in this area, and is she entitled to care?

Fuck dude.

 

[HEYHEY]

After 30 years of marriage and 25 years of declining to almost zero sex, I feel that I am responsible for my own sex life. What I mean is that I make sure I have a good sex life and my wife long ago gave up the right to have an opinion on what I do or don’t do in this area.

My wife is great in other areas and I still love her.

The question is….do you think I am entitled to freedom in this area, and is she entitled to care?

You are entitled to freedom in this area but you cannot tell her. Women in general are fucked in the head.
She wont have sex with you but will divorce you the second she finds out you're getting it somewhere else.

 

[princekwekua]

She wont have sex with you but will divorce you the second she finds out you're getting it somewhere else.

Many women know their husbands are getting it from somewhere else. They just dont want it flaunted in their faces. Which is why, as the saying goes, discretion is the better part of valour.

 

[KDK13]

Many women know their husbands are getting it from somewhere else. They just dont want it flaunted in their faces. Which is why, as the saying goes, discretion is the better part of valour.

True. Had a friend who got green-lighted from spouse, conditions being no one she knows, not in their house, always wear protection, and do not embarrass her.

 

[Jenesis]

So this is a tough question because to her, she would probably feel she is entitled to know but realistically - I don’t think so.

She has taken the out of site/out of mind type approach it seems. She is not interested in sex so it is just off the table from action to conversation but there are two of you and you have a say regardless of whether she wants to hear it. So she has taken it upon herself to cut herself out, then she cuts out her right to know as well.

However also realistically - because she probably feels she has a right, you can’t tell her you are finding sex somewhere else without possibly dealing with consequences from her

I would just use this to not have feelings of guilt but I wouldn’t have a conversation either.

 

[Born2Star]

True. Had a friend who got green-lighted from spouse, conditions being no one she knows, not in their house, always wear protection, and do not embarrass her.

As a part of "not embarrassing her", I just assumed I have the green light....

 

[superman12]

After 30 years of marriage and 25 years of declining to almost zero sex, I feel that I am responsible for my own sex life. What I mean is that I make sure I have a good sex life and my wife long ago gave up the right to have an opinion on what I do or don’t do in this area.

My wife is great in other areas and I still love her.

The question is….do you think I am entitled to freedom in this area, and is she entitled to care?

Im in a similar boat. Been married for 35 years. Its been sexless for the past 25-30 for various reasons. Still love my wife and would do almost anything for her. I would say we have a happy marriage. I get my sexual urges fulfilled by regularly seeing sp's and going to mp's. I dont think my wife is entitled to know what i do in the sex department or even care for that matter. I dont tell her because as with most civi women i dont think she would like to hear that i have sex with other women outside of our marriage but on the other hand i dont think shes that naive to think that i dont. All men have urges that need to be fulfilled its just nature.