In Ontario at what age does a child decide which parent?!?!?

[Dean 'MF' Jones]

My fiancé is dealing with a custody issue in which her ex would like to see the kids alternating weeks. The arrangement is currently taking turns on weekends and when he doesn't see the kids on the weekend he sees his kids on Wednesday's and Thursday's.

She has a boy who just turned 12 in April and a girl who turns 15 on July 1st.

My fiancé does not want the new arrangement and will take it to court if need be. Is it true that the current child custody law falls under the Canada Law Reform Act. And that children younger than 16 do not get to choose where they live because they are not old enough nor mature enough to make that decision? That they should not be put in the position to make that decision either. And at 12 they can choose not to go to counseling. So does this fall under Family Law? And is there two separate laws involved?

I was also told that if an application is made to the court an assessment is ordered by a judge. The assessment has to be done by someone recognized by the court? And that the assessor prepares their assessment and submits a recommendation to the court? And is it true that the judge may or may not accept the recommendation? It is up to their discretion?

If anyone and confirm this to be the case it would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you.

 

[Dougal Short]

When I divorced, my kids were 14, 16 and 17. Ours was a "friendly" split, but I recall the lawyers saying only that at their ages, the kids could pretty much determine where they went. Her's are younger, but I would like to think that they could have a lot of input.

If I understand you, the Dad is looking for equal time. Assuming he isn't a dick, isn't that exactly what our gender is striving for? My kids used to change it up all the time, and would often not be together... one here, two there etc.

Why would your fiance deny the father of her children access?

 

[mandrill]

Rough rule of thumb: When a kid turns 12, he / she gets a say in access and custody. Depending on the circumstances.

 

[rhuarc29]

My fiancé does not want the new arrangement and will take it to court if need be.

What she wants shouldn't have any bearing here. The father is entitled to see his kids, unless there is a real reason he shouldn't (ie. past abuse). At that age the kids should also have a say in whether or not they see him.

 

[Dean 'MF' Jones]

L

When I divorced, my kids were 14, 16 and 17. Ours was a "friendly" split, but I recall the lawyers saying only that at their ages, the kids could pretty much determine where they went. Her's are younger, but I would like to think that they could have a lot of input.

If I understand you, the Dad is looking for equal time. Assuming he isn't a dick, isn't that exactly what our gender is striving for? My kids used to change it up all the time, and would often not be together... one here, two there etc.

Why would your fiance deny the father of her children access?

Her ex is not a very responsible person. He drinks, he has no consideration for his kids when he does have them. He leaves them alone in the house while he's drinking and getting drunk at the neighbors. He once left his son (12) alone in the house while he brought his daughter (14) with him to meet a girl in a bar 2 hours away from their home. Her daughters journal indicated she even had a drink that night. He's not paid his heating bills on a number of occasions so that was shut off. And he refuses to show my fiancé his latest T4 slip to prove he is supposed to be paying more for child support. He's a real asshole.

 

[Dean 'MF' Jones]

Rough rule of thumb: When a kid turns 12, he / she gets a say in access and custody. Depending on the circumstances.

Considering her ex is the most irresponsible person and hides things like T4 information from my fiancé because he owes her more for child support, is just one of many red flags for this idiot. He's had the heat shut off. He drinks and leaves his kids alone while he gets drunk. Not the most suitable living conditions for the kids. Her daughter (14) doesn't not want the new arrangement while her son now 12, does. Once the truth comes out in court about her ex the kids won't have a sayin where they go.

 

[red]

Considering her ex is the most irresponsible person and hides things like T4 information from my fiancé because he owes her more for child support, is just one of many red flags for this idiot. He's had the heat shut off. He drinks and leaves his kids alone while he gets drunk. Not the most suitable living conditions for the kids. Her daughter (14) doesn't not want the new arrangement while her son now 12, does. Once the truth comes out in court about her ex the kids won't have a sayin where they go.

I am not saying your wrong but it sounds like he has money problems if the heat has been cut off.

It also sounds from what you say that the younger child wants to see his dad and the older does not. Is that right? Well oagre can comment on what you have said.

I was also curious why you are reading the 14 year old girl's journal? That's creepy

 

[Dean 'MF' Jones]

I am not saying your wrong but it sounds like he has money problems if the heat has been cut off.

It also sounds from what you say that the younger child wants to see his dad and the older does not. Is that right? Well oagre can comment on what you have said.

I was also curious why you are reading the 14 year old girl's journal? That's creepy

Her ex makes a very good salary but is lazy paying the bills. Yes, seems like the younger child wants this arrangement but is also intimidated by his father because his dad always yells at him.

As for the journal no, lol, I didn't read it. I should've been more specific because I asked my fiancé about that incident. She said she found out that story and the truth when she read her daughters journal.

 

[oldjones]

L

Her ex is not a very responsible person. He drinks, he has no consideration for his kids when he does have them. He leaves them alone in the house while he's drinking and getting drunk at the neighbors. He once left his son (12) alone in the house while he brought his daughter (14) with him to meet a girl in a bar 2 hours away from their home. Her daughters journal indicated she even had a drink that night. He's not paid his heating bills on a number of occasions so that was shut off. And he refuses to show my fiancé his latest T4 slip to prove he is supposed to be paying more for child support. He's a real asshole.

Thanks for at last getting to the main point: What is best for the kids? It's where this should have started —and stayed — particularly in the thinking of the two parents.

 

[mandrill]

Considering her ex is the most irresponsible person and hides things like T4 information from my fiancé because he owes her more for child support, is just one of many red flags for this idiot. He's had the heat shut off. He drinks and leaves his kids alone while he gets drunk. Not the most suitable living conditions for the kids. Her daughter (14) doesn't not want the new arrangement while her son now 12, does. Once the truth comes out in court about her ex the kids won't have a say in where they go.

The judge can over rule a child's wishes in appropriate situations and this may be one such. Normally, the judge will appoint a government-financed "children's lawyer" to interview the children and write a report in a contested custody case w teenaged kids. That's probably the way to go.