If you could undo your divorce, would you do it? ( as miserable as the marriage was )

[Ceiling Cat]

I know a guy in his early 50s, he often cries in his scotch about how miserable his life is after the divorce. He complains that he would have rather continued with his miserable marriage and not have gone through the pain and expense of a divorce. He said that if the marriage is over, do not get divorced. Just do the best you can and have adventures on the side.

For all the divorced guys, would it have been better to stay married and not divorce?

 

[oil&gas]

Depends on if he had to split half of his assets.

 

[destillat]

No chance would I undo it.
The best 3 years of my life have been the years after my divorce.

I don't regret the marriage at all... we had a great run at it, and she helped me become who I am today... but we just grew apart and become more friends than partners. We are still friends.

 

[Aardvark154]

Absolutely not. Do I regret the marriage having failed and do I wish that things had been different - yes very much so. But regret ending what had become absolutely miserable and untenable - no.

 

[Ceiling Cat]

Depends on if he had to split half of his assets.

The idiot lost about 60% of his assets including part of his pension when he retires. He lost most of his friends that he and his wife knew, and his partners are scratching their heads about the 45 year old shiksa he is going out with. He has no regrets about his new GF, it is the loss of $$$ that he is mourning. The wife got the house and the nice car, he got his toy cars back. He got the country house. ( he still has considerable money )

 

[JackBurton]

I am thankful I am divorced from that terrible leech. Everyday I am thankful. I lost EVERYTHING - that is the brilliant part of the courts. She never worked and got awarded everything. Thank god there were no kids.

Would I do it again? Sure, but this time I would get an iron clad pre nup.

 

[onthebottom]

No fricking way - why is divorce so expensive, because it's worth it.....

 

[rgkv]

Good question....gotta say if I had stayed married I would be in a far better financial position now, I would be retired ...
Instead at 50 years old I lost most everything....if it wasn't for an inheritance I be fucked..........
Also another problem seems to have arrived. Being single over 10 years now and at my age I'm not sure anymore if I can take someone else living in my house...and talk about being possessive...This time around, I stamped my bloody name on everything I bout "Property of RGKV"
Would I go back?? .....NO..

 

[dj1470]

No
She is still a bloodsucker from which I cannot escape. I don't even think a silver bullet would do it.

 

[IM469]

No chance would I undo it.
......
I don't regret the marriage at all... we had a great run at it, and she helped me become who I am today... but we just grew apart and become more friends than partners. We are still friends.

My experience completely. Cat - your friend sounds like a self absorbed pussy. It really sounds if the wife is better off and I'm guess not in a hurry to get swallowed in an emotional blob for life.

I know one guy who actually divorced his wife and came back to her. He misread the fact that I get along with my ex-wife so well - that he would do the same thing. What he didn't realize is this was a amicable split and while I was driving it - there was no young chick involved (publicly) and so her humility was intact. The toughest fight was ignoring both our lawyers advice to drop the gloves and go to war.

So buoyed by the friendly relationship of my ex and myself - he came home and announced he was moving in with his young secretary. When the smoke cleared his wife had everything (I'm sure the kids factored in heavily) and I'm guessing his thought was that he was moving in his new girlfriend so it was easy to give away what he didn't need. After a few months of having this guy living with her - the new girlfriend realized that the guy was not full time mate material and threw him out. Now on the outside looking in and in a pathetic position - he appealed to his wife to let him come back.

I guess he used the kids as leverage but he was allowed back on trial. He had to go to relationship counselling and every Sunday he had to go to church. I was unaware of the return but when visiting my ex- I saw him and said 'hi'. He just wasn't the same guy. I think his wife blames me for their problems because she called him like a dog in a garden and he quickly broke off our conversation. According to my ex she seems to regard him with disdain and my ex says she never sees him smile anymore.

I would set your friend down and tell him he can't live in the past and he should work to building a new future. If that doesn't work - shoot him and put him out of his misery.

 

[danmand]

I would have done all of them a lot earlier.

 

[**Sophie**]

There is no amount of money that I wouldn't pay for my happiness....Once your friend turns that corner, he will never look back. It does take time though.

There is a lot of convenience in staying in an unhappy marriage, but I think those who do stay are denying themselves of real true love, a love in which I think everyone deserves to have.

 

[bazokajoe]

I want to thank everyone for responding to this thread.Keeps confirming why I have allways been and will allways stay single.
God bless freedom.

 

[SPsurfer]

I want to thank everyone for responding to this thread.Keeps confirming why I have allways been and will allways stay single.
God bless freedom.

coz the possibility of separation or divorce is a possibility, you should not use it justify the "single" life...

in some cases, divorce leads to acrimony; hence, "good riddance"

in some cases, longing for the ex coz "she's the devil you know"

personally, I got off ez with my SO... even got our kid FT... so, for me it was a win...

but, I learned from her... no point in being in an unhealthy relationship just to save face, or coz of a connection that was intense in the past, or kids... best to turn the page

your friend is in a bad place coz of regret... once he no longer denies it and finds meaning elsewhere, he'll be fine

 

[Petzel]

I think if someone is that miserable in a marriage, he/she owes it to themself to try to find a happiness elsewhere......if you're willing to take the chance.

 

[needinit]

I wouldn't have met my (current) SO if I didn't divorce - wouldn't have had my kids if I wasn't married to the first one - so no regrets at being married and glad to be divorced although it has set me back 10 years financially! - I am still in a good position but not where near where I was prior to the divorce.

 

[out4fun]

I'm officially divorced now (see: my wife shaved her pussy, should I be worried thread), and I can't believe how much better life is. I would never go back to it. The most difficult part for me is that I only see one of my sons about half the time now, but at least I don't have to see that crazy whore. Yes, it cost money, but it was well worth it. In the end, because of a couple of clauses in the separation agreement that have worked to my advantage, I think ill come out a few hundred k ahead of what I had anticipated. All in all I'm loving love after divorce.

 

[Richard.TO]

I want to thank everyone for responding to this thread.Keeps confirming why I have allways been and will allways stay single.
God bless freedom.

Good for you. If I were to do it all over again, that would be my choice also.

 

[out4fun]

Good for you. If I were to do it all over again, that would be my choice also.

I would really like to meet someone that could be a long term partner again, but this time around I would look for a more equitable contribution. I'm not prepared to support someone financially again...especially after a break up.

 

[SillyGirl]

I would not undo my divorce, even though it was not my idea and completely blindsided me at the time. Turns out the only thing I miss about the man is his wallet, and money is not a good reason to stay with someone. I would rather struggle financially than be with someone who made me feel like shit about myself.

I also agree with the poster who said he's not sure if he could live with someone again. I was nervous about living alone, I had never done that before, but I love it! Such a treat to leave a clean place and still have it clean when I come home!