I am curious about something 4 the women

[SteveOSH]

I am just curious about something actually. I was reading a post about "wanting to date a stripper" ( rules for the guys type thing) it got me thinking.

I can only imagine that a woman here can make alot of money, but i was wondering would any of the ladies give it up if they fell for a guy whether or not a client or not. I do not mean retire cause he said too...

 

[leah_mpa]

I am just curious about something actually. I was reading a post about "wanting to date a stripper" ( rules for the guys type thing) it got me thinking.

I can only imagine that a woman here can make alot of money, but i was wondering would any of the ladies give it up if they fell for a guy whether or not a client or not.

Good question. I often ask myself the same thing. Me, I think I'm a lifer. Ever since I found this job, I never bothered finding a different type of work. So for me to quit, I'd say the probability of that is pretty much zero. Why? Because I've got no other skills. It's sad but it's true. What in the world would I do? What would I put on my resume? I got fired from my receptionist job, bakery job, scooping ice-cream job... the list goes on and on. One time, a client offered me a job at his restaurant. I told him... "unless you want me to spill things all over, drop all your food, break all your plates... trust me, you don't want to hire me." WELL... that was the end of that job offer!! (He was a really nice man so I didn't want to screw up his restaurant. Might as well tell him the truth.) And the other day, when I was filling out the alcohol bottles, I spilt half of it all over me. A lot of it got in my hair so I had to chop some of it off. I had to because the alcohol totally dried out my hair. Luckily, my hair was down to my waist so even though I had to chop some of it off, it's still really long right now. But I'm really clumsy most of the time. That's why I always get fired.

So sometimes, I get really scared. What if... just what if... SOMEDAY, I totally fall in love with a guy who absolutely HATES my job, THEN what would I do? Unfortunately, I guess it means I can not be with him. I can't lie for beans so lying about it is absolutely out of the question. I'm a HORRIBLE liar. When I first started working at the new place I'm at now, there's a restaurant nearby that makes really yummy food. I was so happy because I could order from there. So anyways, this one lady there, one day, just out of the blue, she asks me if I worked at this hair salon closeby because I have really nice hair. I didn't know what to say so I just smiled and said, "yes". She then asked me if she goes there, if I can give her a discount. Again, I didn't know what to say so again I smiled and said, "yes". Then she asked me how much do we charge for a perm and I just went... I just looked at her for like... eternity... and then I said, "actually, I'm really sorry but I don't work there." Then I hung my head down, took my food, paid, and took off. That was the last time I ordered from there. No yummy food for me anymore. (Unless my boss is around, then I make him go get it for me.)

So in response to your question, if I would ever give up this business if I fell for a guy... my response is, "I can't". This is my way of living... my source of income. It pays my food, my rent... how else would I pay for these things? This is my job!! And I have no way out of it. My mom doesn't work so I have to give her money too so she can pay for HER expenses. There's no way a regular job can pay for all my expenses. Many people think it's a matter of choice between love and money but for those of us who have no skills at all, it's a choice between love and living. Unfortunately, that's really no choice at all. That's why I've put up with a**hole for so long because most men would not date a girl in this kind of industry. What would he tell his parents, his co-workers, his friends? That he's dating a whacker / stripper? And what will I put on my resume? That I've been a whacker for 4 years? (Actually, I think it's more than that.) So the only choice for me is to be with a guy who's going to accept me AND my job. UNLESS he's rich enough to take me out of this business... But that's just wishful thinking. Someone that rich would go date a supermodel or something... not a whacker.

 

[drstrangelove]

Leah, don't be so sure about guys with money. Just because they have it doesn't mean they have the nerve/looks/personality to date models and superstars. Perhaps some day you'll meet someone who can afford to keep you (not sure about your mother though, that's asking a lot of someone.)

Good luck.

 

[ycghiydvo]

Mysty,

I must say, you are an exception to the rule. From the things we discussed in the past, you have a career and strong support. Many of the ladies here do not have those things. Additionally, the man you have knows all about your past is accepting of it. You are a very lucky lady and you are a great example to everyone who wants to get away from this.

However, most of the ladies will never be able to get away from it, even though they may be desparate to do so. Part of it revolves around why they started, and what they want to get out of it. Every circumstance is different, but I think a majority can't stay away. Is that good or bad? Again, up to the individual.

Like I said earlier, you are an inspiration to those who want to get away from the business.

YCG

 

[ycghiydvo]

Like I stated Mysty, there are ladies who want to get away from it, whether they feel they are forced to be there because they feel there are no other alternatives, or for some other reason. I would like to believe that no one is trapped in the business, and that there are alternatives, but the money, the stigma from society at large, and other factors all tend make some feel trapped.

I agree with you that everyone should take pride in what they do; the ladies in the business should not be an exception. But those that feel trapped will not take the pride. Again, it is THEIR PERCEPTION of being trapped...

Mysty, it has been a while, and I am glad to see that things are still going well for you...let's chat again sometime soon....

YCG

 

[Cammie]

My thoughts

I just want to comment on this thread, only because I did meet someone but before I was in this industry but I was a stripper when I met him not a Service Provider. He left me I started escorting he came back and excepted what I did or so I thought. Things went well for awhile I too decided to retire and give it up for him. Then he started throwing things in my face and at this point I was not working any more, I could not understand why I had quit for him (as he got nasty after I quit). I ended up trying to get away from his controlling methods by hitting him in the head with a boot which lead to charges against me and him stocking me and this was all after the fact. LOVE caused me nothing but grief so I figured "to hell with finding love" I would rather much be me, do what I like, support myself and have gr8t sex with no hassels or interference. So I decided from that point on (which was only last August)
I will do what is best for me .....all the time ...
So what does Luv gotta do wit it .....
Abuslutly Nothing. (notice the spelling...hehehe)

My two cents

Kisses
Cammie

 

[leah_mpa]

...Perhaps some day you'll meet someone who can afford to keep you (not sure about your mother though, that's asking a lot of someone.)

Good luck.

Hi drstrangelove!! Actually, I would NEVER even dream of asking someone to pay for my mother's bills, expenses, etc. She's MY responsibility and mine alone. That's why it's IMPOSSIBLE for me to quit my job. So whoever I'm with, they're just going to have to accept it. There's just no other way. They don't have to like it, but they'll have to accept it.

 

[CapitalGuy]

Leah you always sound so together and rational in your posts. Seriously, you sound so bright and in control.

I guess it's hard to respond to your earlier, longer post without getting into personal financial questions. I mean, what kind of money do you need? Are you really saying that a guy making $90 or $100K or a little more a year wouldn't be able to afford your tastes? Do you really need a millionaire? Because if a middle class lifestyle will cut it for you (ie. white collar making $90K+), there are thousands of guys you could meet and, presumably, fall in love with, who's incomes would allow you the freedom to take a less controversial or psycologically demanding job. Or not to work at all but still be really comfortable I guess the trick is to meet them. But meeting Mr. or Ms. Right is a challenge we all face!

And if a guy loves you, he wouldn't blink at taking care of your mother. It's all part of the deal.

Anyhow, good luck.

 

[leah_mpa]

Hi bayisle66!! Actually, reality speaking, wouldn't it be difficult for someone earning 90K to take care of a whole household? I mean, there's gonna be income taxes (one third of the money gone!!) mortgage payments, property taxes, house insurance, maintenance fees, home repairs, car payments, car insurance, car repairs, car maintenance, groceries, phone bills, cable bills, internet, eye exams, dental bills... the list just goes on and on. If I could get away with not working, trust me, I would. I'm probably the laziest person you can find. If I could find a guy who's willing to pay for all my bills, I'd quit working totally if he wanted me to. Problem is... I'm no beauty queen or supermodel. Who's gonna want to take care of me for the rest of my life and all my bills too?

 

[CapitalGuy]

salary 90K

income tax 18K
property tax 2-4K
house insurance 1K (on a $200K home)
mortgage payment 15K
car payment 5K
car insurance 1K
household utilities 2K
medical/dental bills - a guy making $90K+ has a plan from work.

That still leaves around $45 000 for food, home improvements, entertainment, charitable donations, RRSP contribution, travel, toys, whatever you want. Most of those expenses are variable (meaning you can determine how much you spend on them). Kids would eat into that if you have them, but that's a lifestyle choice, and I know lots of families with kids, who make lots less than $90K, and are still damned comfortable. What's the average Canadian household income? I'd bet it's less than $45K, yet in the example above that's what you have left over after your baseline expenses are paid.

Ninety grand is a lot of money. And lots of guys make that much or more. I haul in $95 grand a year and those are my figures up there from my last year's expenses. I live in a $200K house, drive an Audi, travel, golf, all that, and still bank a small fortune every year. Find yourself a nice guy with a steady job and the choices open up. It doesn't take a hockey player to keep you in good clothes and fancy cars.

Oh yeah, and I can't resist - a lifetime with Leah_mpa..........priceless.

 

[leah_mpa]

Thanks bayisle66!! You're such a sweetheart. You know... I've actually been thinking about my future a lot lately. Something I've never really done before. And thanks for the mathematical breakdown. As everyone probably knows by now, my math sucks so that was really helpful. I never knew that a household can live off of 90k and still have so much left over!! That's REALLY good. I always thought 90k was nothing. Your post kinda gives me some hope of someday finding someone to start a family with. It's something I really long for. Unfortunately, I still haven't found anyone that I want to do that with yet, maybe when and if he shows up, I'll have the push I need to do something with my life. In the meantime though, I'm gonna work hard to fill up the little piggy bank I have at home. It's getting a little fat now. I've been feeding it lots of $20 bills and $50 bills lately. It's good to not have a**hole taking my money all the time. It would be nice to have $50,000 saved up when and if I choose to quit this business. I think it would be hard to quit though. Having a REAL job would mean me waking up early every morning (no more sleeping in), dressing like a nun (guess all my slutty outfits would have to go... along with my jeans, furry boots, fake nails, fake hair, fake lashes, fake teeth... ), making my lunch [more carrot sticks and cranberry juice I guess, since I can't cook (or maybe it'll be just one big humongous carrot instead of the little carrot sticks that I like since I won't be able to afford them)], and taking the TTC (uh ohs... no more driver!!)... that sounds like a pretty hard and sad life. Don't know if I can live like that. Maybe for a day or a day and a half just for experimentation, but FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE??!! I just don't know if I can do it. I think that's why so many of us fall back into this business. We're used to the easy life (or somewhat easy life) so it's hard to give it all up. I mean, what other job lets you show up whenever you want, get off whenever you want, sleep when it's not busy... I think this is pretty much the only business that allows us to do that.

Actually, that "no more driver" part is a really scary thought. I always get lost. I remember when a**hole first moved into his townhouse, it took me 3 hours to find his place. (without my driver) Anyways, the next morning, I woke up, wanted some cranberry juice, so I decided to go to this convenience store close by. I forgot my cell-phone at his place so when I was going back to his place, I forgot which townhouse it was!! They all looked the same. And I couldn't remember his number since it was programmed into my cell-phone and he had just moved. Anyways, after more than half an hour of wondering around, a**hole figure out I was probably lost so he came to get me. Then, the next time I was going to his place, I forgot which townhouse it was AGAIN!! (couldn't remember the house number) I tried calling him but he was in the shower so he didn't pick up. So there I was, wondering all around like an idiot again when this fat lady comes up to me and ask me if I'm lost. I said, "yes". She asked me if I'm looking for my bf's place. I said, "yes". She goes, "actually, it's THAT townhouse right there!!!!" And she pointed to my bf's place!!!!!! I couldn't believe it!! So I go there, put my key in the lock... and voila... it opened!!! I couldn't believe it!!! How did SHE know where my bf lived when I didn't even know??? Anyways, I told a**hole what happened and he told me that she's outside with these two other people all the time so that's how she knew. But still.... I can't believe it!!! Anyway, to prevent me from getting lost again, he taped a piece of newpaper inside his window now. Haven't gotten lost since. But I swear... everyone in his area is so nosey!!! Another time, I went to the convenience store to buy some apple juice. When I got to the counter, the guy tells me, "oh... there's no need to buy that... your bf already was in this afternoon and he bought some apple juice already."!!!!!!

 

[Mikehorn]

Another helpful reference. As I thought, most families earn way less than Bayisle (and that's with husband and wife both working in a lot of cases). http://www.fraserinstitute.ca/shared/readmore1.asp?sNav=ed&id=349

 

[Mikehorn]

I mean, what other job lets you show up whenever you want, get off whenever you want, sleep when it's not busy... I think this is pretty much the only business that allows us to do that.

I have my own business from home and do all that... and work in shorts, t-shirt and bare feet

 

[leah_mpa]

Another helpful reference. As I thought, most families earn way less than Bayisle (and that's with husband and wife both working in a lot of cases). http://www.fraserinstitute.ca/shared/readmore1.asp?sNav=ed&id=349

After reading this article, I'm more confused than EVER!!! How much DOES the average man make? And what he makes... would he be able to support a household with that money?

 

[leah_mpa]

I have my own business from home and do all that... and work in shorts, t-shirt and bare feet

Can I join you? Please, please!! It can't be all that hard house-sitting Saddam's rabbit hole. Don't think I'd get fired from THAT job!!! I'll wear my little pink tube top, my little black undies, and I'll go bare feet too. Oh, and I'll bring over my "Married... With Children" dvds. Oh, and that movie "Man of the House"... It's so goddamn funny, I swear!!! I'll bring that over too. Oh, and Doritos chips and Sprite too. And chocolates... with nuts. I'm feeling junk food lately. F*ck those nasty, tasteless carrot sticks... I'll be having plenty of those for the rest of my life anyways if I quit this business since that's gonna be all I'll be able to afford.

 

[Svend]

I'll wear my little pink tube top, my little black undies, and I'll go bare feet too...

Where's the drool emoticon?

 

[goodtime]

The financial risks involved in retiring are HUGE and also why I feel many ladies retire only to find themsleves right back into it after a short while . None of us like to struggle but when we do , it certainly makes us appreciate what we have in the support we get from those who love us . There really are some things money just cant buy ! I never thought I would EVER change my life or lifestyle for love but that is what indeed had happened and when I tell you it changed my life I mean 100% change . Some things are just worth sacrificing EVERY thing for and in my case MY LOVE is worth every sacrifice past . present and future.

Misty, Kudos. Thanks for sharing. Indeed, it can happen.

 

[PHNINE]

I don't know what kind of middle class life you want to live Bay, but with 90K a year you will not be living comfortably while supporting a household, especially if you need to help out with the in-laws as well. I mean you will have a modest life, but there is no travelling, no expensive shit, and you will probably have to eat at home most of the time. Can you cook? Can Leah cook? Although 90K is a great amount of money it is hardly enough to support a household in this day and age, especially with the kind of living standards many on this board are use to. DOn't get me wrong though, 90K is great for a bachelor, and perhaps helping a bit with his girlfriends expenses, but not to fully support her, hence her not being able to quit her job.

I make a 6 figure salaray, and still I would not even dream of supporting someone else, let alone getting married, or helping out with in-laws. I still count my money, look for deals, cry when I see bills, and cringe when I buy expensive shit. I still splurge though. LOL Perhaps I live in a high maintainance life style, and have been spoiled in the past, but I think 90K is cutting it close.

As for falling in love, it is most definately possible. But for her to quit the business because of love, all depends on the situation. Every situation is different at every single time. There are factors that some of us won't even think of when it comes to these girls and what they have to go through. I have become friends with many SP's over the years, and I have heard alot about the business and I for one know that it isn't easy to quit. Some of these SP's have become close close close friends of mine, like we have helped each other out with really difficult life situations, and yet still they put there jobs before our friendships. Sometimes they sacrificed alot for me, yet survival kicked in. Not that they want to, or mean to have their job as a priority, but it just happens that way. Just like Leah put it, it is a matter of living, and love (intimate, friendhship, plutonic) just doesn't cut it sometimes. So I applaude any women that can over come that obstacle and have love govern their need to work in this industry and go back to the ice cream scooping jobs of the world and make it on their own in spite of love.

BTW, Leah why do you always sound so hot? No other female poster on this board sounds as hot as you do...I need a cold shower now..excuse me...

 

[wooly110]

... And what he makes... would he be able to support a household with that money?

Depends on his/they're lifestyle. Usually, the rule of thumb is, the more you make, the more you spend.

When I first started out in my field, (1988) I was making $18K/year. Renting a townhouse, 1 child, wife stayed at home (mutual decision) and another baby on the way.

And even though it was 1988, $18K still wasn't a lot of money.

 

[Mikehorn]

Can I join you? Please, please!! It can't be all that hard house-sitting Saddam's rabbit hole. Don't think I'd get fired from THAT job!!! I'll wear my little pink tube top, my little black undies, and I'll go bare feet too. Oh, and I'll bring over my "Married... With Children" dvds. Oh, and that movie "Man of the House"... It's so goddamn funny, I swear!!! I'll bring that over too. Oh, and Doritos chips and Sprite too. And chocolates... with nuts. I'm feeling junk food lately. F*ck those nasty, tasteless carrot sticks... I'll be having plenty of those for the rest of my life anyways if I quit this business since that's gonna be all I'll be able to afford.

Sure, anytime. Love your suggestions for the dress code