How many xxx's does it take to change a lightbulb?

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SchlongConery

SchlongConery

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Jan 28, 2013
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How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?


Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.


The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following. The party of the first part shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part and rotate the party of the second part in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being tendered non-negotiable. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part becomes fully detached from the receptacle, the party of the first part shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part in a manner consistent with all relevant and applicable local, state and federal statutes. Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part shall have the option of beginning installation. Aforesaid installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable. The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part, by any or all agents authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the Partnership.














 
G

GPIDEAL

Prolific User
Jun 27, 2010
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Funny!

There are many. Here's one I like:

How many blondes -- does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!...
 
S

saxon

Well-known member
Dec 2, 2009
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How many carpenters does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to hold it and the other to hammer it in.
 
K

kherg007

Well-known member
May 3, 2014
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how many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb? Three - one to change it, and two to say "I could have done that"
 
F

Frankfooter

dangling member
Apr 10, 2015
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How many producers does it take to change a lightbulb?











I don't know, what do you think?
 
F

fuji

Banned
Jan 31, 2005
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Q: How many terb members does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Four. One to change the lightbulb, one to shill about it, and two to argue about it endlessly in the lounge.
 
R

Ridgeman08

50 Shades of AJ
Nov 28, 2008
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fuji said:
Q: How many terb members does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Four. One to change the lightbulb, one to shill about it, and two to argue about it endlessly in the lounge.
Click to expand...
You would be one of them! :director:
 
C

clay902

New member
Apr 11, 2010
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How many Electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?


One. He's a damn electrician for fuck's sake.
 
T

TheDr

Active member
Aug 30, 2009
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How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one,but the bulb has to want to change.

How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One: Bono will hold the bulb while the world revolves around him.

How many FBI agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
That information <deleted> <deleted> when the <deleted> possibly at the behest of <deleted> national security <deleted>.

How many software programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None: that's a hardware problem.

How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None: Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness (tm) as the industry standard.
 
J

jackson11

New member
Jun 6, 2010
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clay902 said:
How many Electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?


One. He's a damn electrician for fuck's sake.
Click to expand...
One??? These guys are union dude. I would say at least four- one foreman, one journeyman, one to inspect the work and one first year apprentice on the ladder actually putting in the light bulb :)
 
SchlongConery

SchlongConery

License to Shill
Jan 28, 2013
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jackson11 said:
One??? These guys are union dude. I would say at least four- one foreman, one journeyman, one to inspect the work and one first year apprentice on the ladder actually putting in the light bulb :)
Click to expand...

You forgot the lockout man, the engineer who came back to have them re-do the work and the ESA inspector to fine them for doing the work without an Licensed Electrical Contractor taking out a permit to change said lightbulb/
 
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