How long do you wait before moving on?

[bazokajoe]

OK,this is another relationship(or lack of) question.
I met this girl about 1 year ago and we seem to get along pretty good.We never dated just friends.She kept saying to me we should do this or that together sometime.I kept saying yes just to be nice and not be mean by saying no and hurting her feelings.I was never sure if she was serious or just playing head games with me.
My birthday and hers are 1 week apart and she always said we should go see Cirque Du Soleil when they are in Toronto.So I have offered (twice) to take her and she never seems to have a definate answer.Keeps coming up with "I am busy" or "I will text you and let you know whats a good day",but of course never does.Offered to take her out for dinner on other occasions,and get the same responses.
Last time I asked her out and never got an answer I just said " it's an open offer and text/call anytime".
So I am leaving it up to her and if she never gets back so be it.

I always give them 2 chances and if no answer I move on.I was just wondering what rules do you guys use? Ask once,twice,keep asking until she tells you to get lost or gives in?

I don't want any personal advice as I have allready told you what I do.Just want to know when you guys give up and move along?

 

[Petzel]

I think that's different with everyone. What works for some may not work for others. Only you can decide when enough is enough and move on. Since you don't want advice, it seems you're already coming to that conclusion on your own.

 

[Bubbles99]

I'm always keeping my options open!

 

[cryptic]

No hard and fast rules, but I definitely wait way too long.

 

[Celticman]

I am not sure if give up is the right expression, but if there is no reciporical interest, it is a clear sign to not pursue things. And this is detectable very early on. It is always awkward when there is a dichtomy of feelings and this is another reason to read the writing on the wall before the paint is dry. Conversely, if a lady seems to be interested in me, and I do not feel that way, I find a kind way to communicate how I feel.

I try to avoid deluding myself into believing that the unavailable is available.

To the OP, it seems odd that you give them 2 chances but it seems like this friendship was/is a year old.

 

[Ceiling Cat]

You have given her two chances, it is time for a heart to heart talk to say it as it is. You are at two minutes to midnight. Moving on time is only a couple of minutes away.

 

[Mod100]

Baseball rule. Three strikes and she's out.

 

[fuji]

Change your approach. Calling her up and asking her out on dates has failed repeatedly, and it isn't likely to succeed if you try one more time. So try something different, or give up. Maybe call her up just to talk, ask her opinion on something that's bugging you and have a big talk on the phone about it, to develop the relationship a bit more before asking her out again.

Or just give up if she isn't worth the effort.

 

[Born2Star]

So OP what do you mean by waiting? You mean making sure you don't date anyone else while waiting for her?

I wouldn't do that. If you two hang out as friends you can see someone else so as she.

 

[poker123]

Dude if she wanted to go out with you she would have already. Move on.

 

[frankcastle]

I'd say that typically if within the first few months if things aren't moving in a dating direction it probably won't.

The exception to that would be if one or both parties are in a relationship when they first meet and find themselves both single at a later point.

I think if she shows interest and you aren't able to get her to commit to going out cut your losses. Keep her as a friend if you like but don't play her game.

The moment things get weird or you feel it's too much work to maintain things just so they will go no where is when you have to make a decision. Sometimes that happens faster than oterh.

 

[youwontknow]

I was in your situation few years ago I think most people in the terb here suggest to move on. I would suggest moving on as well if I were you, you ask sever times she never gave you a straight answers if she was interested she would have yes already not keeping stringing you along. A lot of women these days are cold she is just waiting for something BBD to come along.

 

[Closer68]

OK,this is another relationship(or lack of) question.
I met this girl about 1 year ago and we seem to get along pretty good.We never dated just friends.She kept saying to me we should do this or that together sometime.I kept saying yes just to be nice and not be mean by saying no and hurting her feelings.I was never sure if she was serious or just playing head games with me.
My birthday and hers are 1 week apart and she always said we should go see Cirque Du Soleil when they are in Toronto.So I have offered (twice) to take her and she never seems to have a definate answer.Keeps coming up with "I am busy" or "I will text you and let you know whats a good day",but of course never does.Offered to take her out for dinner on other occasions,and get the same responses.
Last time I asked her out and never got an answer I just said " it's an open offer and text/call anytime".
So I am leaving it up to her and if she never gets back so be it.

I always give them 2 chances and if no answer I move on.I was just wondering what rules do you guys use? Ask once,twice,keep asking until she tells you to get lost or gives in?

I don't want any personal advice as I have allready told you what I do.Just want to know when you guys give up and move along?

I would keep hitting her up every now and then... What do you have to lose? I'd also start making fun of her to get her interested.

 

[Petzel]

I would keep hitting her up every now and then... What do you have to lose? I'd also start making fun of her to get her interested.

I don't think making fun of her is a good idea. I can't see how that would change anything other than her getting pissed off with him for doing it.

 

[Closer68]

I don't think making fun of her is a good idea. I can't see how that would change anything other than her getting pissed off with him for doing it.

The first rule of dealing with women is that you can never place them above yourself. Making fun of her, lightly, works wonders.

 

[realthing69]

Dude if she wanted to go out with you she would have already. Move on.

I agree see other women but keep in touch once in a while.

When you do talk to her, tell her how much fun you're having traveling, trying new activities/hobbies, hanging out with friends etc.

 

[red]

jesus h christ. move on and forget her.

her pussy is no better than any other. now go get some

 

[blackrock13]

Two or three times is plenty, but don't say that's it to her, just fade. Never burn the bridge.

 

[Petzel]

The first rule of dealing with women is that you can never place them above yourself. Making fun of her, lightly, works wonders.

Yes it may work well in some situations but i don't think it would in this one so i still disagree..........sorry.

 

[The Options Menu]

I always give them 2 chances and if no answer I move on.I was just wondering what rules do you guys use? Ask once,twice,keep asking until she tells you to get lost or gives in?

It's different if it's a serious long term monogamous thing, then the answer is 'however long it takes, but don't let yourself get emotionally stuck'.

In this case 2 chances sounds about right. Throw it out there, wait a couple of days, throw it out there again. If there is no response then move along. If she had a legit reason, or a good excuse, she'll contact you. If not, not. From the rest of your post it sounds like you're pretty in to her, so it sucks for you, but there are plenty of fish in the sea.