Holiday Jokes and Pick-up Lines

[joedrake]

Who has some good holiday jokes and/or pick-up lines?
Here is a start:

What did Santa sing when he went down the chimney?
“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…”

 

[joedrake]

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A merry Christmas to ewe

 

[joedrake]

Can you hold my gloves for a second? I usually warm them by the fireplace, but you are way hotter.

 

[downbound123]

The reason Santa has no children is because he only cums once a year and then it is down the chimney....

 

[downbound123]

"Excuse me miss, any chance I could borrow your phone for a moment?"
"Why"
"Because I promised my mom I would call her the moment I fell in love"

 

[Slobus]

Why are Eggs Benedict best served on hubcaps during the holidays?

Because everyone knows... there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.