Hmmm...what to do?

[rama putri]

So I just came back from this house party/BBQ. One of my buddies has been telling me about this girl he's met a month ago, how he's smitten with her, etc... and wants to bring her. He does.

Let's just say she's an EE girl many of us have seen and enjoyed.

What makes me wonder is what is he thinking? Here's a very young girl about 14 years younger than him, in her very early 20s, lives in a high end condo, speaks passable English, works for 'her brother', drives a high end car, wears designer clothes, has many 'men' friends (read on) etc...

Umm...how many young girls live in that situation?

With all this talk about that woman Alexandra, I'm just amazed how blind some men can get. He's a straight up guy and all. Intelligent but really not street smart. He talks about her like she's an angel. She's certainly not a bad person, but angel - not quite.

So here's the catch. I know her VERY well. She's one of my fuck friends. I know her family. I know her friends. I know of the other men that 'support' her lifestyle.

Anyway, after I get home, she calls me. I even had dinner with her three days ago! She didn't mention a word about him then, but she was distracted a bit. She tells me she wants to make this work somehow and that she's not lying to him, well, not really telling him the whole truth either, not yet anyway, but she wants to be the one to tell him. But can she count on me as a friend (interestingly close to both of them) to support her on this.

Well, let's see where this goes. I'll keep my mouth shut for a bit. Boy, he's going to be devastated.

 

[PHNINE]

Is she a SP?

 

[joebear]

So here's the catch. I know her VERY well. She's one of my fuck friends. I know her family. I know her friends. I know of the other men that 'support' her lifestyle.

Well, let's see where this goes. I'll keep my mouth shut for a bit. Boy, he's going to be devastated.

You're not much of a friend if you don't tell him.

I wouldn't be surprised if he asked you to a fist fight for tarnishing the women he loves. He is going to feel betrayed that you did not say anything to him the moment you found out who he was talking about.

 

[A-ROD]

I would say... Lady you have 24hrs to tell him or I will

It's as simple as that

 

[papasmerf]

he is fishing for a cash cow.


Got to love it. The scamers get scamed.

Seems to me that crash and burn will follow

 

[calloway]

I'd be curious to know what this young lady tells your friend she does for a living. Maybe he does know... but just too embarassed to tell you. If you know her as well as you say you do... I'd confront her first. Maybe she is trying to make a change in her life now that she's got to know him. You're the person caught in the middle... and obviously need to stop seeing her as one of your "fuck friends".

 

[sorely]

What's her contact? Sounds interesting!

 

[Svend]

It doesn't sound like she wants to leave the business if she's enjoying an expensive lifestyle, but she probably also likes the taste of being a typical gal going out on dates.
I don't know if you should tell your friend, that's a tough call if she's a nice woman. Encourage her to do it sooner rather than later.

 

[Dewalt]

Interesting situation but the solution is very clear if you value his friendship:

1) if you are paying her to be your fuck buddy, you keep your mouth shut.

2) if she is giving it away to you then you tell your friend.

Why must people make it more complicated than it is?

 

[Gawd]

Dissuade him from going thru with her, but without using any specifics (like her being an SP and you fucking her on and off), try to use the age angle and the high maintenance factor.

And so the same with the firl, dissuage her using examples of how he won't be able to keep up with her, etc.

This is proof enough that women truly hold all the cards... we're so stupid and cock-driven.

 

[RTRD]

So....

So I just came back from this house party/BBQ. One of my buddies has been telling me about this girl he's met a month ago, how he's smitten with her, etc... and wants to bring her. He does.

Let's just say she's an EE girl many of us have seen and enjoyed.

What makes me wonder is what is he thinking? Here's a very young girl about 14 years younger than him, in her very early 20s, lives in a high end condo, speaks passable English, works for 'her brother', drives a high end car, wears designer clothes, has many 'men' friends (read on) etc...

Umm...how many young girls live in that situation?

With all this talk about that woman Alexandra, I'm just amazed how blind some men can get. He's a straight up guy and all. Intelligent but really not street smart. He talks about her like she's an angel. She's certainly not a bad person, but angel - not quite.

So here's the catch. I know her VERY well. She's one of my fuck friends. I know her family. I know her friends. I know of the other men that 'support' her lifestyle.

Anyway, after I get home, she calls me. I even had dinner with her three days ago! She didn't mention a word about him then, but she was distracted a bit. She tells me she wants to make this work somehow and that she's not lying to him, well, not really telling him the whole truth either, not yet anyway, but she wants to be the one to tell him. But can she count on me as a friend (interestingly close to both of them) to support her on this.

Well, let's see where this goes. I'll keep my mouth shut for a bit. Boy, he's going to be devastated.

...this is different than the "marriage" thing, for a couple reasons...

1) These two don't have a relationship. They might think they do (especially your buddy), but if they did, he'd already know what you are concerned about telling him. They have infatuation, they have fun, they have whatever you want to call it EXCEPT a relationship. Hence, if you "spill the beans", you aren't "ruining a relationship" - you are giving him the information he needs in order to make an informed decision.

2) This girl is NOT someone's average everyday run of the mill "wife" who isn't happy with the job her husband does in bed any more. She is an SP. She makes her living providing men with an "experience". She is an EXPERT at leading men to believe something that isn't really there exists. Now, you guys who see SPs (presumably) go into those encounters knowing that you are paying for this illusion, so you WANT her to do the best job she can of "deluding" you...you are paying for the experience. Your buddy (presumably) is not in that position. Again, he deserves to know the truth so he can then decide what he wants to do - bang a hot chick in a pay-as-you-go "relationship" (he wouldn't be the first or the last) while keeping his wits about himself, or decide to remove himself from the situation to avoid emotional harm. Or...actually make a go of it to see what comes of things (he'd be a fool to try this, but if he is informed, hey, he is a grown ass man).

For me - the key is this: She has essentially asked you to NOT tell him. She has asked you to chose the "friendship" (snicker) you have with her over the friendship you have with him. That is BULLSHIT.

If she were on the up and up, she would be telling him RIGHT NOW the real deal. Somebody might would claim that she should "wait until the right time". Guess what? The right time came the INSTANT she learned that her two world just collided. If she is cares about him, she is RIGHT now telling him, if for no other reason to avoid him finding out FROM YOU.

If you are friend, you tell him. If you both are lucky, his response will be "I know. She told me". At that point you never discuss it again.

BTW - if you are a friend you also stop fucking her, at least until he comes to his senses. And after that point if he asks you you deny ever "dating" her again....

 

[A-ROD]

Get him to sign up with TERB and check her reviews

At least he can see if he is getting what everyone else is.

 

[PHNINE]

Hold on a minute. Rama never answered if she is a SP or not, or am I missing something?

 

[A-ROD]

Hold on a minute. Rama never answered if she is a SP or not, or am I missing something?

The way I read the original post, I would think she is. Many men supporting her lifestyle.
If not working for an angency I would say she is like an independant.

I could be wrong, maybe I am just reading too deep between the lines.

 

[PHNINE]

Ok well from what I gather in this post is that Rama is debating whether or not to tell his friends that this girl is a SP and has been around the block. Am I right on that?

If so, then I think he should tell him. Unless she truly likes him, and they are actually in love. Then maybe he should proceed with caution. However, if he is just looking to date her and show her off then he should definately tell him to avoid any embarassing situations in the future. There is nothing worse then bringing a girl to party where all the guys have "been" with her before.

 

[SSS]

I'm just missing something here...

why should he tell a friend about a girl?... to confirm He himself is using "services" (if that is the case)...
why that cannot be a business of his friend and a girl... she is a human being... she might be sincere and you dont' know her... as you don't know his friend... why are you so cruel?

I wonder what would you say if a sp you met a day before shows up at your family function... would you announced that loud that you've banged her and paid for it right a front of your family? or would you appreciate if she did so?... hmmm.

I wouldn't want to mess with that... no matter what situation is. imo.

 

[goodtime]

If in same situation, I would agree with SSS.

I know there's a tendency to help out the bud but as long as neither side is out to hurt or take advantage of the other person. Let the couple work it out.

But stay close. Should there be fallout, you'll have your hands full.

 

[RTRD]

Well....

she might be sincere and you dont' know her... as you don't know his friend...

...if this is the case then I am not telling him anything he doesn't already know

I wonder what would you say if a sp you met a day before shows up at your family function... would you announced that loud that you've banged her and paid for it right a front of your family? or would you appreciate if she did so?... hmmm.

Not the same - I'm not in a relationship with her, and based on the situation you've laid out, she isn't in a relationship with anyone I know (or care about). In the situation you've described, nothing has taken place so far except discreet "business".

In the situation the OP described, emotions are at stake.

I stand by what I said. If she is "sincere" she has told him. If he doesn't care, he will say so.

Better he hear it from me than some guy in a bar who slaps him on his back after she goes off to the bathroom for a minute...

 

[zydeco]

Give her a reasonable amount of time to come(no pun intended) clean with him - and if she doesn't - then tell him.