He's turning 19 and painfully shy....

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Scooter1

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Dec 30, 2004
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A little help folks....ladies and gents please reply.

My son, as mentioned above is turning 19....I frankly doubt he's ever been kissed. A learning disability put him in special classes until he finished grade 6... a year late...he's overcome the problems and now attends Carleton. He is a computer geek...just got the braces off two weeks ago...thankfully for him before university. As I mentioned painfully shy but he's my boy and I love him to death. He is a good looking young lad he’s just not like me. I was a jock that go tossed from High school and voted most likely to go to jail. Sadly I succeeded but blew up a knee so no sports.... back to the lad.... his mom and I were never married or lived together but I've always paid support and always been a part of his life....he's19 this weekend. Despite our basic different personalities we have a good relationship....that said he's so shy it's hard for him to make friends so.... no buddies to burst the 19 with.

Is it appropriate for me and a few buddies to take him out for some fun....by that I mean a Henna tattoo...just to freak his mom...and help him decide if he ever wants one and I was planning an evening at the New Den.

All opinions are welcome

and if you happen to be dancing and want to help him out a bit feel free tolet me know.

Thanks all
 
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trichome

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Feb 2, 2006
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Be careful not to embarrass him. If he is shy, it can reach deeper than you might know. Sometimes we mean well but it can backfire on us. You know him, so just ask yourself, "Will he be comfortable with this?"
 
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toine

Left-handed user
Jan 6, 2007
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The outer fringe
bad idea...

Well, my two cents:
I sure would never have wanted to go to a strip club with my old man! Bad idea, let the boy enter this world on his own, and opt instead for a nice, relaxed pub crawl for the two of you.

Take care of the boy,


toine
 
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czar99

New member
Jul 11, 2008
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Ask him. Talk to him. Tell him how proud you are of him. How much you love him. That's probably all he wants......
 
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urontop

New member
Sep 27, 2005
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bad idea!

toine said:
Well, my two cents:
I sure would never have wanted to go to a strip club with my old man! Bad idea, let the boy enter this world on his own, and opt instead for a nice, relaxed pub crawl for the two of you.

Take care of the boy,


toine
Click to expand...
I Agree! This (toine's comment) is a better approach. You can maybe talk about chicks and whatnot and maybe find some common ground, but throwing him to the cougars is a bad idea.:eek:
 
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Old Milwaukee

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Aug 8, 2009
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This could be the most ridiculous post I've ever read.

Scooter is either full of shit, or he's just an idiot for suggesting taking his son out.

This thread should end, quick.
 
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GlavaMan

Old Milwaukee said:
This could be the most ridiculous post I've ever read.

Scooter is either full of shit, or he's just an idiot for suggesting taking his son out.

This thread should end, quick.
Click to expand...
:rolleyes:
Ya shame on scooter for trying ensure his son has a good time on his 19th birthday. I wonder how many respondents to this thread have a son of their own? Forget what YOU (and your father) would have wanted on your 19th. Fortunately, the responses to the same post on Cerb have been much more insightful.
 
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mb12ca

Banned
Aug 17, 2008
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guelph
Force himto do what he likely wants to do anyway

Set up an appointment with an aggressive SP and tell him you'll be waiting in the car for him until he finishes. Tell him you have asked the SP to contact you immediately after the two finish and if she doesn't confirm that he lost his virginity, he has to walk home.
 
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mustang1967

Member
Aug 22, 2003
270
0
16
Just take him out for dinner and just ask him if there is anything he wants to do and tell him anything he wants you will do, and if an sp or strip club come up then go from there but be sure its his idea do not try to lead him on or he may do it thinking thats what you want
 
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Anynym

Just a bit to the right
Dec 28, 2005
2,961
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How long before we see something asking why someone like him has such low regard for women?
 
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buckrogers69

Banned
Aug 1, 2009
38
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Let the kid live his own life. What you enjoyed is not what he enjoys..

He's at University with his own type now. He will find a girl just like him and his time will come.

Don't ruin his life by trying to make him like you, or ruin his relationship with you trying and ultimate by doing so saying he's a failure for not being like you.
 
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Scooter1

New member
Dec 30, 2004
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Well….Thank you all for your opinions.

Well….Thank you all for your opinions. Some other dad’s may one day face such a question and I hope they can remember the answers they read on one board and not on the other. I posted on two boards wanting to get some answers. I never really thought parenting advice on these boards was the best idea but if (and it was always a big if) I was going to exercise the option for this weekend I wanted answers from folks who are hobbyists, sp’s or mp’s. If I wanted the opinions of people that enjoy a different lifestyle I could ask them…and in fact I did. I want to thank the one SP that pm’d me…you are great. We’ve never met and it’s too bad your advice was just a pm because it is probably the number one opinion I’m going to follow.

Thank you buggernot, whatshisname, wrinkledintime, and orangex. Thank you antlerman for pointing out the difference between the boards…I was stunned at the difference too. No wonder one board is growing and prospering and one seems to be faltering.

The time will come. We’ll talk about it and I guess the real point is we can talk about it. What action we take will be up to him. The risk of a wound he might not recover from is too great. Just ask Biff Lowman.
 
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Ashley Dupree

New member
May 15, 2008
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Scooter1 said:
A little help folks....ladies and gents please reply.

My son, as mentioned above is turning 19....I frankly doubt he's ever been kissed. A learning disability put him in special classes until he finished grade 6... a year late...he's overcome the problems and now attends Carleton. He is a computer geek...just got the braces off two weeks ago...thankfully for him before university. As I mentioned painfully shy but he's my boy and I love him to death. He is a good looking young lad he’s just not like me. I was a jock that go tossed from High school and voted most likely to go to jail. Sadly I succeeded but blew up a knee so no sports.... back to the lad.... his mom and I were never married or lived together but I've always paid support and always been a part of his life....he's19 this weekend. Despite our basic different personalities we have a good relationship....that said he's so shy it's hard for him to make friends so.... no buddies to burst the 19 with.

Is it appropriate for me and a few buddies to take him out for some fun....by that I mean a Henna tattoo...just to freak his mom...and help him decide if he ever wants one and I was planning an evening at the New Den.

All opinions are welcome

and if you happen to be dancing and want to help him out a bit feel free tolet me know.

Thanks all
Click to expand...
LOL. I thought you going to ask if there was sp anyone could recommend for him. No harm in take him to strip club. he is legal age now. hope he have some fun on his birthday.
 
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purpleshaft

Active member
Aug 16, 2007
510
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Do not try to hang out with him like you two are the same age.

What I'm about to suggest may be asking for trouble as well. But if you must intervene, get a nice cute SP to hit on him and fool around with him at his speed. Still I don't know how this could be set up or confirmed.

Is it your pride that's hurt if he doesn't get kissed or more?
 
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massman

Well-known member
Sep 8, 2001
4,618
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Ok give this guy a bit of a break, but also a bit of guidance. So a dad wanting to take his son foe a couple of beers is just about universally appealing, and affirms that so important male bond between dads and sons. However getting a boner while your dad is next to you is just weird. Sorry but true. One of things I respect my own dad for the most is NOT going to the sc at my stag. He gracefully made some excuse about a long drive and bowed out.

While it is a dads job to teach sons about life, there is a limit, and there are some things sons need to figur out for themselves.

Bottom line- be a cool dad- don't try to be a kid- OR make him feel like a dork or embarassed
 
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Old Milwaukee

New member
Aug 8, 2009
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Couldn't agree more, well said Mass

massman said:
Ok give this guy a bit of a break, but also a bit of guidance. So a dad wanting to take his son foe a couple of beers is just about universally appealing, and affirms that so important male bond between dads and sons. However getting a boner while your dad is next to you is just weird. Sorry but true. One of things I respect my own dad for the most is NOT going to the sc at my stag. He gracefully made some excuse about a long drive and bowed out.

While it is a dads job to teach sons about life, there is a limit, and there are some things sons need to figur out for themselves.

Bottom line- be a cool dad- don't try to be a kid- OR make him feel like a dork or embarassed
Click to expand...
 
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