Heart trouble Mildred, 93, was despondent over the recent passing of her husband. She decided to join him in death. Thinking it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol. She decided to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the vital organ, become a vegetable, and become a burden to someone else, she called her doctor's office to learn her heart's exact location. "Since you're a woman," the doctor said, "your heart is just below your left breast. Why do you ask?" She hung up without answering. Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
