is the profiles fake?
has anyone had any luck any other civi sites that have decent looking women on there
has anyone had any luck any other civi sites that have decent looking women on there
has anyone had luck on POF
- Thread starter rogersawfiul
- Start date
These sites don't work. I was on ilikeyou.com for over a year I constantly get messages but when I reply I got no response.
I have to agree. Those sites are mostly a waste of time. I’ve gotten dates on them before, but they’ve never turned into anything substantial, and I very rarely got responses. I’d message 50 women, get maybe one or two responses. I’d get messages from women on occasion, but it was usually just obvious bots/fake profiles, women who were frankly incredibly unattractive and seemed to have horrible personalities from reading their profiles, or desperate women who just obviously messaged everyone. The quality just wasn’t there. All the actual attractive, interesting women get so many messages, it’s almost impossible to get a response. Plus, nowadays, those sites have been basically gutted and put behind paywalls. When I was using them, at least you got decent functionality without having to pay. Now, they’re 100% useless unless you’re willing to drop some money on them (for example, OKC now has a system where you can only message people who liked your profile, but you can’t see who liked you without paying).
Pretty much nowadays, I think everyone just does the “download tinder and just swipe yes on everyone” thing. This is why I mostly stick to SPs at this point. Way less soul crushing and dehumanizing.
Pretty much nowadays, I think everyone just does the “download tinder and just swipe yes on everyone” thing. This is why I mostly stick to SPs at this point. Way less soul crushing and dehumanizing.
Met my wife on POF we have two kids and best relationship I ever had. She has been compared to Cameron Diaz, same body and face type. When she gave birth nurces kept coming to the room because someone thought she was Cameron Diaz, kind of funny because what would she be doing with a nobody, but back to your point.
Yes, it is worth it if you are worth it.
Yes, it is worth it if you are worth it.
Thats funny...I also met my wife on POF, have two kids and am still here
not sure I regret it. I consider it enlightening.I got an email thing and 1 date with an insanely hot Chinese single mother [2 decades in the PRC, 1.5 in Canada]
I got a 2.5 year relationship with another Chinese girl, [first half in China second half here], she was awesome but at the same time very weird and kinda nutty. Kinda regret breaking up with her.
Also got about 4 days of very intense messaging from a second generation white which but she flaked for not real reason... I get punished because of some asshole I've never met. Someone with more game probably would have made it work.
I also discovered that although I've always had problems dating, it seems Chinese born women absolutely love me, getting more than a 20% response rate and even when they didn't respond they would look at the profile quite a bit.
I got a few "women" who would message me first, but they were all some combination of much heavier than I am, looking much older than I am or look more manly than I do.
I find it ironic that someone who puts up videos telling guys who to get women did worth than a fugly chud of a shuggoth like me.
I got a 2.5 year relationship with another Chinese girl, [first half in China second half here], she was awesome but at the same time very weird and kinda nutty. Kinda regret breaking up with her.
Also got about 4 days of very intense messaging from a second generation white which but she flaked for not real reason... I get punished because of some asshole I've never met. Someone with more game probably would have made it work.
I also discovered that although I've always had problems dating, it seems Chinese born women absolutely love me, getting more than a 20% response rate and even when they didn't respond they would look at the profile quite a bit.
I got a few "women" who would message me first, but they were all some combination of much heavier than I am, looking much older than I am or look more manly than I do.
I find it ironic that someone who puts up videos telling guys who to get women did worth than a fugly chud of a shuggoth like me.
@ice spot
What do you mean by your comment 'if you are worth it?' What does that mean does it mean have wealth or material things to show off or be a good person with good values and heart? Please explain.
I've tried online dating and hated the experience myself. I would not do it again. The juice was not worth the squeeze for me. I must be one ugly mother fivker but whatever. I don't go out much so I may have to accept doing my time in Canada until I retire abroad and then find a wife even if north of 60.
Even when they are physically appealing the women on line don't have good hearts. They seemed to me like the ones that would be around only for the good times and first sign of trouble leave you. Very cold opportunistic types.
I know someone that met his wife on POF. I hope he has a good lawyer on speed dial. I get bad vibes about her.
For those that date here is it really possible to find a good match here ?
What do you mean by your comment 'if you are worth it?' What does that mean does it mean have wealth or material things to show off or be a good person with good values and heart? Please explain.
I've tried online dating and hated the experience myself. I would not do it again. The juice was not worth the squeeze for me. I must be one ugly mother fivker but whatever. I don't go out much so I may have to accept doing my time in Canada until I retire abroad and then find a wife even if north of 60.
Even when they are physically appealing the women on line don't have good hearts. They seemed to me like the ones that would be around only for the good times and first sign of trouble leave you. Very cold opportunistic types.
I know someone that met his wife on POF. I hope he has a good lawyer on speed dial. I get bad vibes about her.
For those that date here is it really possible to find a good match here ?
I tried them hoping to meet while on the road. Waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy too much effort and time so I gave up quickly. Although I never did pay to get behind the firewall.
If you do use them make every response personal, not a cut and paste answer, but that will consume even more of your time only to likely find disappointment when you do meet
These sites are after your $ and the personality profiles are too much work and do not work anyways. Scam.
Having said that, sites can work but be willing to spend $ and a lot of effort. I actually did meet a nurse. A rather nice one. But I fucked it up somehow when we met and she bailed. I do not know WTF I did to make her suspicious of me but that just goes to show how frustrating these sites are. You finally meet someone of quality and she is, understandably, cautious and you do something to make her bail and are left wondering what it was you said or did.
May I suggest learning how to approach and meet women in the old fashioned way?
I create threads on this very topic. They are meant to be genuine and educational so view my threads, ask questions, and hear what Terbs have to say
There are POF out there to meet but not on the net and it is free
In a city like Toronto, you actually get to see them first! Now develop meeting skills then go to places to meet them which can be anywhere
Start with buying someone coffee with no expectations
If you do use them make every response personal, not a cut and paste answer, but that will consume even more of your time only to likely find disappointment when you do meet
These sites are after your $ and the personality profiles are too much work and do not work anyways. Scam.
Having said that, sites can work but be willing to spend $ and a lot of effort. I actually did meet a nurse. A rather nice one. But I fucked it up somehow when we met and she bailed. I do not know WTF I did to make her suspicious of me but that just goes to show how frustrating these sites are. You finally meet someone of quality and she is, understandably, cautious and you do something to make her bail and are left wondering what it was you said or did.
May I suggest learning how to approach and meet women in the old fashioned way?
I create threads on this very topic. They are meant to be genuine and educational so view my threads, ask questions, and hear what Terbs have to say
There are POF out there to meet but not on the net and it is free
In a city like Toronto, you actually get to see them first! Now develop meeting skills then go to places to meet them which can be anywhere
Start with buying someone coffee with no expectations
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Simply put, you will attract what you want. Now first thought you probably had just right now, was WTF I want a good pretty woman, but you keep telling yourself that doesn't exist here, so subconsciously you prove yourself right by dating women that confirm your point of view.
Look no one is a gold coin to be attractive to every one. Yes, looks and wealth are the first two things we notice, but right after you have two more important qualities.
Which are the ones good women are most attracted to, "Confidence and Ambition". Now don't confuse ambition with becoming wealthy rich, no ambitious about the things you do, always wanting to be better at what's important to you.
Also, you have to be an Alpha, if you are not, learn how to be one. You have to be a pillar of strength. It doesn't matter if every night you go to sleep crying in the fetal position because you find the world cruel or your coworker didn't wish you a good day. No woman ever sees you crying or weak. You cry with your buddy, friends, siblings etc. But never your woman, always portray the Alpha. She wants you sensitive to her needs, not you being sensitive. It's evolution, women are very attracted to that.
You will fail more times than you will succeed, it's the nature of the game. When I started doing what I'm telling, I would strike out 19 out of 20 times, but that 1 yes was worth the 20 No's. I dated a lot of MPAs, and I'm not bragging. For example Perla has a 115 women working. You ask everyone of them out, 6 of them will date you. Will it matter then that 109 turned you down?
With time and expertise I got my odds down to 1 out of 3. But the point is you have to keep at it and learn what works.
Few pointers,
1) Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People written by Dale Carnegie, published in 1936."
2) Practice talking with strangers every chance you get, women and men. In those conversations find 3 personal things about them. Ie. Favorite color, day of the week, birthday. Once you get good you move up to flirting with the women, men if you are attracted to them. Where do you do this? With the bank teller, Tim's employee, Walmart Cashier, a stranger at grocery store. Any place you get a chance to practice.
3) Read how to be the ultimate badass in 37 steps.
4) never take dating advice from women or women sites. Unlike us women are more unique, and what one wants the other hates.
5) learn the difference between the women looking for a good time and a good life. Good time girls are for fun and you should be fun. Ride the wave and when it's over you catch the next one, no hard feelings.
6) The good life women, don't have sex with them for at least 4 months, WTF! Yes, no sex for 4 months, because we all love sex, it's so good and fun and makes us stupid. The red flags in every relationship are obvious in the first few months. Ever looked back on a failed relationship and you are like, yeah it was obvious, or your friends are like, yeah man we wanted to tell you but.... That's because when we have sex we ignore the red flags, we lie to ourselves, we are like "yeah, it was bad how she acted, but that ass when we are doing it doggy style....yeah one more chance.
7) lastly it's a lot of work to be done and it's not easy, but fuck will it be a fun ride.
If you are willing to do the work and not settle for north of 60 some where else, you are worth it and will find someone worth of you.
How does this benefit you in the long run?
How is this not being fake to your core by pretending to be someone else because of a perceived advantage?
Maybe would be good for short term to catch the fish and maybe get a fuck buddy however I don’t see what you have recommended below to be sustainable to the relationship in the long tun, your sanity and your self worth.
Wouldn’t it be better to figure out who you are at the core and work on ways to bring out your truth regardless of what it may be vs. trying to mold yourself based on what you think you should be based on what others say. Real women who are interested in long term dig men who are genuine, know who and what they are and have interesting and unique perspective to bring into the relationship, otherwise they will constantly be looking for the next alpha and will never be content and satisfied. Why settle for flakes? The keeper women don’t want a man who is pretending to be someone else and who lacks his own code. IDK about you but I would take this type of a sustainable woman any day over what social media tells you is attractive.
I thought this is why we have this hobby, to tame the primal urges so we can focus on integrating our core self to the truth and living the life that feels right vs. the life that we think is right.
How is this not being fake to your core by pretending to be someone else because of a perceived advantage?
Maybe would be good for short term to catch the fish and maybe get a fuck buddy however I don’t see what you have recommended below to be sustainable to the relationship in the long tun, your sanity and your self worth.
Wouldn’t it be better to figure out who you are at the core and work on ways to bring out your truth regardless of what it may be vs. trying to mold yourself based on what you think you should be based on what others say. Real women who are interested in long term dig men who are genuine, know who and what they are and have interesting and unique perspective to bring into the relationship, otherwise they will constantly be looking for the next alpha and will never be content and satisfied. Why settle for flakes? The keeper women don’t want a man who is pretending to be someone else and who lacks his own code. IDK about you but I would take this type of a sustainable woman any day over what social media tells you is attractive.
I thought this is why we have this hobby, to tame the primal urges so we can focus on integrating our core self to the truth and living the life that feels right vs. the life that we think is right.
I'm always amazed at how much you and I have in common, minus the guilt. Wonder how many times we have crossed paths.Thats funny...I also met my wife on POF, have two kids and am still here
Fuck bro I was just thinking that especially little things like cleaning job part like when a guy spits a gum in a urinal don’t you just want to drop them. Its crazy how our experiences seem to cross many times. I am also thinking that we must have crossed paths in real life especially when you quoted about that book "How to Win Friends and Influence People written by Dale Carnegie, published in 1936.".
You have jumped to a conclusion, before doing what I said in points 1 and 3. I have more of an outline of what to do, the rest is up to you. But taking the outline from point one, I believe fully address what you have criticised, and that's before reading the 37 steps how to be the ultimate badass......
Point 1)
Get you out of a mental rut, give you new thoughts, new visions, new ambitions.
Enable you to make friends quickly and easily.
Increase your popularity.
Help you to win people to your way of thinking.
Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done.
Enable you to win new clients, new customers.
Increase your earning power.
Make you a better salesman, a better executive.
Help you to handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts smooth and pleasant.
Make you a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.
Make the principles of psychology easy for you to apply in your daily contacts.
Help you to arouse enthusiasm among your associates.
The book has six major sections. The core principles of each section are explained and quoted from below.[4]
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Human nature does not like to admit fault. When people are criticized or humiliated, they rarely respond well and will often become defensive and resent their critic. To handle people well, we must never criticize, condemn or complain because it will never result in the behavior we desire.
Give honest and sincere appreciation. Appreciation is one of the most powerful tools in the world. People will rarely work at their maximum potential under criticism, but honest appreciation brings out their best. Appreciation, though, is not simple flattery, it must be sincere, meaningful and with love.
Arouse in the other person an eager want. To get what we want from another person, we must forget our own perspective and begin to see things from the point of view of others. When we can combine our desires with their wants, they become eager to work with us and we can mutually achieve our objectives.
Six Ways to Make People Like You
Become genuinely interested in other people. "You can make more friends in two months by being interested in them, than in two years by making them interested in you.
"The only way to make quality, lasting friendships is to learn to be genuinely interested in them and their interests.
Smile. Happiness does not depend on outside circumstances, but rather on inward attitudes. Smiles are free to give and have an amazing ability to make others feel wonderful. Smile in everything that you do.
Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language. "The average person is more interested in their own name than in all the other names in the world put together."
People love their names so much that they will often donate large amounts of money just to have a building named after themselves. We can make people feel extremely valued and important by remembering their name.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. The easiest way to become a good conversationalist is to become a good listener. To be a good listener, we must actually care about what people have to say. Many times people don't want an entertaining conversation partner; they just want someone who will listen to them.
Talk in terms of the other person's interest. The royal road to a person's heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most. If we talk to people about what they are interested in, they will feel valued and value us in return.
Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely. The golden rule is to treat other people how we would like to be treated. We love to feel important and so does everyone else. People will talk to us for hours if we allow them to talk about themselves. If we can make people feel important in a sincere and appreciative way, then we will win all the friends we could ever dream of.
Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Whenever we argue with someone, no matter if we win or lose the argument, we still lose. The other person will either feel humiliated or strengthened and will only seek to bolster their own position. We must try to avoid arguments whenever we can.
Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong." We must never tell people flat out that they are wrong. It will only serve to offend them and insult their pride. No one likes to be humiliated, we must not be so blunt.
If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Whenever we are wrong we should admit it immediately. When we fight we never get enough, but by yielding we often get more than we expected. When we admit that we are wrong people trust us and begin to sympathize with our way of thinking.
Begin in a friendly way. "A drop of honey can catch more flies than a gallon of gall." If we begin our interactions with others in a friendly way, people will be more receptive. Even if we are greatly upset, we must be friendly to influence people to our way of thinking.
Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes. Do not begin by emphasizing the aspects in which we and the other person differ. Begin by emphasizing and continue emphasizing the things on which we agree.
People must be started in the affirmative direction and they will often follow readily. Never tell someone they are wrong, but rather lead them where we would like them to go with questions that they will answer "yes" to.
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. People do not like listening to us boast, they enjoy doing the talking themselves. Let them rationalize and talk about the idea, because it will taste much sweeter to them in their own mouth.
Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers. People inherently like ideas they come to on their own better than those that are handed to them on a platter. Ideas can best be carried out by allowing others to think they arrived at it themselves.
Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. Other people may often be wrong, but we cannot condemn them. We must seek to understand them. Success in dealing with people requires a sympathetic grasp of the other person's viewpoint.
Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. People are hungering for sympathy. They want us to recognize all that they desire and feel. If we can sympathize with others, they will appreciate our side as well and will often come around to our way of thinking.
Appeal to the nobler motives. Everyone likes to be glorious in their own eyes. People believe that they do things for noble and morally upright reasons. If we can appeal to others' noble motives we can successfully convince them to follow our ideas.
Dramatize your ideas. In this fast-paced world, simply stating a truth isn't enough. The truth must be made vivid, interesting, and dramatic. Television has been doing it for years. Sometimes ideas are not enough and we must dramatize them.
Throw down a challenge. The thing that most motivates people is the game. Everyone desires to excel and prove their worth. If we want someone to do something, we must give them a challenge and they will often rise to meet it.
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Begin with praise and honest appreciation. People will do things begrudgingly for criticism and an iron-fisted leader, but they will work wonders when they are praised and appreciated.
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly. No one likes to make mistakes, especially in front of others. Scolding and blaming only serve to humiliate. If we subtly and indirectly show people mistakes, they will appreciate us and be more likely to improve.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. When something goes wrong, taking responsibility can help win others to your side. People do not like to shoulder all the blame and taking credit for mistakes helps to remove the sting from our critiques of others.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. No one likes to take orders. If we offer suggestions, rather than orders, it will boost others confidence and allow them to learn quickly from their mistakes.
Let the other person save face. Nothing diminishes the dignity of a man quite like an insult to his pride. If we don't condemn our employees in front of others and allow them to save face, they will be motivated to do better in the future and confident that they can.
Praise every improvement. People love to receive praise and admiration. If we truly want someone to improve at something, we must praise their every advance. "Abilities wither under criticism, they blossom under encouragement."
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. If we give people a great reputation to live up to, they will desire to embody the characteristics with which we have described them. People will work with vigor and confidence if they believe they can be better.
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. If a desired outcome seems like a momentous task, people will give up and lose heart. But if a fault seems easy to correct, they will readily jump at the opportunity to improve. If we frame objectives as small and easy improvements, we will see dramatic increases in desire and success in our employees.
Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest. People will most often respond well when they desire to do the behavior put forth. If we want to influence people and become effective leaders, we must learn to frame our desires in terms of others' desires.
Letters That Produced Miraculous Results
This section was included in the original 1936 edition but omitted from the revised 1981 edition.
In this chapter, the shortest in the book, Carnegie analyzes two letters and describes how to appeal to someone with the term "do me a favor" as opposed to directly asking for something which does not offer the same feeling of importance to the recipient of the request.
Seven Rules For Making Your Home Life Happier
This section was included in the original 1936 edition but omitted from the revised 1981 edition.
Don't nag.
Don't try to make your partner over.
Don't criticize.
Give honest appreciation.
Pay little attentions.
Be courteous.
Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.
@icespot I believe that this kind of stuff takes away from our humanity, our dynamics , our potential and especially our free will. Its basically you taking control of your natural dynamics and reprogramming it based on what people think is the right way for success. I believe this stuff makes us less genuine and more robotic and I believe that this hurts our core being and takes us away from our truth and especially our relationships potential.
This video below explains what I mean regarding losing your free will to a program.
Jim Carrey said Life doesnÂ’t happen to you, it happens for you to make a conscious choice to perceive challenges as something beneficial so that you can deal with them in the most productive way true to your self.
At the end of the day itÂ’s whatever works for your. Are you happy and content with your life and the people in your life. Do you have true love in your life. If you answer yes than your way works and will be different for others. I also answer yes to this question every single day when I look in the mirror and this works for me and I can say I have love in my life. I know I have god because I feel love and love is god and is always available to access through other people and the source. The woman that found me or took my bait meets this criteria. Surprisingly the universe has revealed her to me through POF and now we have an amazing life and 2 happy kids and I feel gods presence minus the bullshit religion teaches us.
Then why am I on terb? It is because it is interesting and get a chance to connect with amazing people in a place that people consider taboo and viewed as a cess pool full of gutter rats lol which is hardly the truth and quite opposite. There is a lot of truth here behind the dust and noise. Do I still see the girls answer is no.
I think our intentions are the same however we have quite different methods with measured and observed key indicators of success.
This video below explains what I mean regarding losing your free will to a program.
Jim Carrey said Life doesnÂ’t happen to you, it happens for you to make a conscious choice to perceive challenges as something beneficial so that you can deal with them in the most productive way true to your self.
At the end of the day itÂ’s whatever works for your. Are you happy and content with your life and the people in your life. Do you have true love in your life. If you answer yes than your way works and will be different for others. I also answer yes to this question every single day when I look in the mirror and this works for me and I can say I have love in my life. I know I have god because I feel love and love is god and is always available to access through other people and the source. The woman that found me or took my bait meets this criteria. Surprisingly the universe has revealed her to me through POF and now we have an amazing life and 2 happy kids and I feel gods presence minus the bullshit religion teaches us.
Then why am I on terb? It is because it is interesting and get a chance to connect with amazing people in a place that people consider taboo and viewed as a cess pool full of gutter rats lol which is hardly the truth and quite opposite. There is a lot of truth here behind the dust and noise. Do I still see the girls answer is no.
I think our intentions are the same however we have quite different methods with measured and observed key indicators of success.
RAIN and Icespot great input. I always appreciate both your inputs.
My biggest thing about dating especially here in Toronto is I want to stay true to me. I've always been this way in life and hate being fake or faking it until I make it. I remember one date I tried cater to the date and it didn't work out and I hated myself for being someone I am not. This is my personal view and I don't mean to offend anyone. In this regard I think I side more with RAIN. Like he said he lived his life and life or the universe just put the right woman in his path.
Also, by being myself I don't mean me being a loser. I mean being a responsible adult a good man a good friend a good son etc and living a good life taking care of my health etc. Now if someone likes what I'm selling hopefully it will work out.
I think the biggest issue now is lack of maturity even for people my own age some of them. They have watched too many rom comms and this has warped their views and expectations. I have experienced some stupid reasons for being disqualified from dating someone under the no chemistry umbrella and have heard friends get the same. That I think it's the discouraging thing in this city. Finding someone real who hasn't been warped and willing to take a chance on a good person.
My biggest thing about dating especially here in Toronto is I want to stay true to me. I've always been this way in life and hate being fake or faking it until I make it. I remember one date I tried cater to the date and it didn't work out and I hated myself for being someone I am not. This is my personal view and I don't mean to offend anyone. In this regard I think I side more with RAIN. Like he said he lived his life and life or the universe just put the right woman in his path.
Also, by being myself I don't mean me being a loser. I mean being a responsible adult a good man a good friend a good son etc and living a good life taking care of my health etc. Now if someone likes what I'm selling hopefully it will work out.
I think the biggest issue now is lack of maturity even for people my own age some of them. They have watched too many rom comms and this has warped their views and expectations. I have experienced some stupid reasons for being disqualified from dating someone under the no chemistry umbrella and have heard friends get the same. That I think it's the discouraging thing in this city. Finding someone real who hasn't been warped and willing to take a chance on a good person.
POF is a cesspool compared to what it was 12-15 years ago.I had a lot of fun off there. Now?.....not so much....VERY jaded women, but the guys are animals.....many have no game of any kind and message with "wanna fuck"...."Can I see your tits"..stuff like that....AND there are some really sick basturds on there now. I have a female friend on there and the amount of men who try and work themselves into a 3 way with her and her 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER would blow your mind. I've seen the messages.....hundreds over time.The powerful of porn I guess.....
