Girlfriend Wanted. Apply within!

[yahoo40]

Wtf !


http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/m4w/2206139357.html
The position of 'Girlfriend' is now open and I am seeking to get it filled. Employer is a geeky/dorky gamer with a quirky sense of humour, living and working downtown (in the gaybourhood to be exact). Employer enjoys a variety of things, including movies, good TV shows (Scrubs, Firefly, Chuck, The Daily Show, Futurama, etc), good music (Damien Rice, Joshua Radin, David Gray, The Gaslight Anthem, Coldplay, Godspeed You Black Emperor), cooking (yes, Employer cooks!), and reading. Seeking Employee to share interests and experience new ones. Employer does not enjoy seeking employees at bars or pubs and is hence using Craigslist!

Responsibilities:
1) Cuddling on cold rainy nights or while watching movies on the couch
2) Accompaniment to excursions such as Toronto Island, St Lawrence/Kensington Market, dinner or just roaming the city
3) Makey outies
4) Becoming a cat pillow for Employer's cat. (Maybe joined with #1)

Preference given to candidates who live in Toronto and are easily accessible by TTC. Candidate must be 20 years of age or older, willing to judge compatibility over MSN/phone and willing to meet for an interview over coffee in the near future.

Please respond with resume, including photos. Please note that this is a volunteer position, and you will be compensated with hugs, kisses, and pie.

 

[simon482]

that is a clever ad and he put a lot of thought into it and i bet he scores a nice girl based on his imagination and creativity.

 

[alexmst]

I wouln't say his TV show selection was "good" LOL. But I agree that he put a lot of effort into the ad, seems honest, and will probably get responses...there are a lot of geeky girls out there who are looking for a nice geeky guy, so he will prpbably do well.

Remember that radio humour guy Andy Barry from the early 1990's? He once said that he took out a personal ad in the (pre-internet) newspaper personals that he thought was so bad/brutally honest that no woman in Toronto would respond to it. He said he hated anything cultural like theatre or opera, didn't travel much, didn't like eating out at nice places, and liked spending all his free time on the sofa at home drinking beer and watching sports on TV. He said he was amazed when he got 137 serious replies from women.

 

[simon482]

I wouln't say his TV show selection was "good" LOL. But I agree that he put a lot of effort into the ad, seems honest, and will probably get responses...there are a lot of geeky girls out there who are looking for a nice geeky guy, so he will prpbably do well.

Remember that radio humour guy Andy Barry from the early 1990's? He once said that he took out a personal ad in the (pre-internet) newspaper personals that he thought was so bad/brutally honest that no woman in Toronto would respond to it. He said he hated anything cultural like theatre or opera, didn't travel much, didn't like eating out at nice places, and liked spending all his free time on the sofa at home drinking beer and watching sports on TV. He said he was amazed when he got 137 serious replies from women.

i put up an ad saying "i am fat, miserable, eat horribly and will die young BUT i have a wicked pension that you get when i die and a huge cock so you are good" not one response.

 

[HOF]

i put up an ad saying "i am fat, miserable, eat horribly and will die young BUT i have a wicked pension that you get when i die and a huge cock so you are good" not one response.

Give that pension to your offspring!

 

[simon482]

Give that pension to your offspring!

well obviously i was lying that they were getting it.

 

[HOF]

I wouln't say his TV show selection was "good" LOL. But I agree that he put a lot of effort into the ad, seems honest, and will probably get responses...there are a lot of geeky girls out there who are looking for a nice geeky guy, so he will prpbably do well.

Remember that radio humour guy Andy Barry from the early 1990's? He once said that he took out a personal ad in the (pre-internet) newspaper personals that he thought was so bad/brutally honest that no woman in Toronto would respond to it. He said he hated anything cultural like theatre or opera, didn't travel much, didn't like eating out at nice places, and liked spending all his free time on the sofa at home drinking beer and watching sports on TV. He said he was amazed when he got 137 serious replies from women.

Hey, he was on radio so 137 women thought he'd be really loaded?

 

[sp free]

A little creativity can go a long way. I made an ad that got me 6 or 7 replies. I was expecting 0.

 

[Hangman]

that is a clever ad and he put a lot of thought into it and i bet he scores a nice girl based on his imagination and creativity.

Actually, everything about that ad screams insecure dork, so I doubt he's going to find what he's looking for.

Maybe it's hyperdog.

 

[The Fruity Hare]

i put up an ad saying "i am fat, miserable, eat horribly and will die young BUT i have a wicked pension that you get when i die and a huge cock so you are good" not one response.

Maybe you shouldn't have posted in the vegan section!

 

[capncrunch]

Actually, everything about that ad screams insecure dork, so I doubt he's going to find what he's looking for.

Yep, as soon as I read, Cuddling on cold rainy nights or while watching movies on the couch I saw Lowlife insecure bastard that hopes to draw you into his life by pretending he`s somebody he`s not.

He`s gonna be the first in line in the `Let`s just be friends` competition.

 

[wigglee]

Creepy old married guy seeks hot young babe with place, for discreet erotic salvation.

 

[GrandBlasterK]

Well, let's cut the guy some slack. He is looking for a girlfriend, not a lover. The fact that he lives in "gaybourhood" seems to imply that. The possibility that he may have a wicked pension and huge cock is certainly no threat to his target candidates. This guy must have hundreds of girlfriends and one loverboy. Wonder who (or what) might have turned him loose? lol

 

[trod]

The guy has some good taste in music.

Well put together ad I'd say.

 

[benito]

The cuddle shit makes me gag.

 

[kelli]

OP might come across as cute, but this is only going to attract 2 kinds of females:
1. Girls who have not entered the real world yet, and have not realized you can't live on cuddles and pie alone,
2. Older predatory women who will use & abuse the pie, and leave when the pie is finished or they're full.
Hopefully its #2 and at least OP gets some pleasure out of it. Option #1 is not worth the torment.

Oh and consider option #3 - its all a big joke. OP (et. al.) are dying to see the look on the ladies faces when they think they're going to meet an awesome sensitive guy who bakes pie, when its really a practical joke made by some cruel gay dude. OR even better a butch dyke looking for her wifey. I couldn't tell the gender of the OP. Just throwing it out there...

 

[kelli]

"Employer does not enjoy seeking employees at bars or pubs and is hence using Craigslist!"

Excellent reasoning here - the impeccably high standards of CL will undoubtabley assure a higher level of quality control than either bars or pubs could offer. Any girl on CL must think just like the OP, as girls on CL will not be hanging out in bars/pubs. Surely, the CL posters who apply will be honest, send accurate/recent pictures, will not try to steal his pie, and only desire hugs/kisses/pie in return for his time and affection.

 

[freestuff]

"Employer does not enjoy seeking employees at bars or pubs and is hence using Craigslist!"

Excellent reasoning here - the impeccably high standards of CL will undoubtabley assure a higher level of quality control than either bars or pubs could offer. Any girl on CL must think just like the OP, as girls on CL will not be hanging out in bars/pubs. Surely, the CL posters who apply will be honest, send accurate/recent pictures, will not try to steal his pie, and only desire hugs/kisses/pie in return for his time and affection.

+1. LOL. OP should spend a few bucks and move to eharmony or match if s/he is serious about getting a gf.