GF, GFE, Sugar Baby, or Wife?

[LordLoki]

Well having spent the end of February and early March in the far east with LADY XI the eternal question arose as I recovered from jet lag.

What is the most cost effective solution?

If your main interest is just quick casual sex from least to most expensive I rate the options as::

1) Hobby
2) Girl Friend

Wives and Sugar Babies are really not a good option at all.

If you want a fun interesting woman that makes life more interesting and provides a wide range of stimulation for an extended period of time:

1) Wife
2) Sugar Baby
3) Girl Friend
4) Hobby

On the other hand, the risk factor for costs if anything goes wrong is:

1) Hobby, Girl Friend, Sugar Baby
2) Wife
3) Wife
4) Wife

Unless of course you mix Wife with anything else. If you do the risk is ½ of your universe.

When I started my exploration into the hobby about a year ago, all I wanted was a nice simple no strings attached sexual interaction. Unfortunately I stumbled onto a woman who was the best possible choice for my needs.

My advice? Find out what you need, find someone who can provide it, if you can afford the best go for it.

 

[Aardvark154]

Well having spent the end of February and early March in the far east with LADY XI the eternal question arose as I recovered from jet lag.

All too true! And as the character in a Television series many years ago was fond of saying "There ya go!"

 

[Dani]

Lord you know what I would say here.. You know very well.

Dani

 

[LordLoki]

Lord you know what I would say here.. You know very well.

Dani

hmmmmmmmm yup. Even though we have never met except in cyber, yup

 

[cypherpunk]

You might think it's easy to keep it "business" but it won't happen that way.

If it's business, you're not doing it right. You're paying for a kind of no strings attached girlfriend or mistress.

 

[LordLoki]

Being a Sugar Daddy is no job for wimps!!!!

 

[Bear669]

Like the man sez!

Being a Sugar Daddy is no job for wimps!!!!

LOL. When it was good it was great, but sometimes..... sigh. Hell I would still do it again.

In any one of the above choices, it will cost you big time. My advice is go for a short term solution - a GF. I`ve been all of the above and the only one that worked was being a GF. Just don`t live together because then it`s considered common law after a certain period of time. Being in a sugar relationship sucks .....

Sorry to hear you say that AT. I thought from an old post that you had a good Sugar D, though another ended badly. As I always say though, ALL types of relationships can suck based on the wrong time/place/people.

.....
For the majority, consider the amount of time you spend with each other and business arrangements will surely be thrown out the window. Sure, they`ll still pay the woman but it will only be subject to reciprocating certain gestures, feelings and conversation one would expect from a true girlfriend that isn`t being paid.....

Actually, those "gestures...." make what I call a 9+ GFE. Partly my good luck, and partly good research etc., but there are more great gals out there than some hobbiests might think. Of course, there is this...

https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=162677&page=14;) GOOD relationships are where you find them. A nice SP beats a lousy wife/gf, and a great SP (Oh, maybe like AT?) beats all.

 

[Dani]

Being a Sugar Daddy is no job for wimps!!!!

Which proves you are certainly no wimp

Dani

 

[Bud Plug]

One topic that hasn't been discussed on this thread yet is whether you should have a one-dimensional plan or not. I agree with much which has been said about the relative cost of different relationships, etc. (I leave it to another thread to ponder why you won't find a female dominated board talking about the cost of supporting/entertaining various categories of men!), but I think that a complex life demands a complex strategy for happiness.

As a result, I don't think the choice is "either/or", rather it's "what's the right mix".

Very few men can lead a happy life with just a wife/SO in their life. Myself, I think the best combo is about:

35% Wife (mostly friendship, child rearing and family support partnership)
35% Girlfriend(s) (mostly romantic, sexual, some practical support)
0% Sugar Baby (too close to wife to be worth the cost)
30% Hobby (all sexual)

Comments? Different proposals?

 

[chazz_matzz]

I have done the married thing....very expensive especially when it ended ;(

The girl I am currently seeing is great; firecracker in the sack, beautiful ect ect and gets upset when I try to pay for things or buy her stuff.

I also did the hobby thing towards the end of my marriage and found that sex with out some form of emotional connection is very unsatisfying for me

In summary a GF seems to be the best value for me.....

 

[Bear669]

Ouch...

I did have a good one but there is no paying and no expectations in return anymore. We still see each other now and again without the business. The other one broke my spirit where I felt I lost a piece of myself. No amount of money is worth that. You win some, you lose some. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't.

All three of the above types of relationships have their pros and cons, it's just a matter of what's more important to you? Companionship, money, emotions, the end result?

I sure know that broken feeling, from ALL types of relationships. I hope you are healing, and its nice to hear that the good one has evolved in a positive way.
I do wonder though, if you think back to early times with the bad SD, were there warning signs? Notwithstanding the $ aspect, hopefully we all learn to watch out for the WRONG kind of person or circumstances that have caused us grief in the past. And of course (Plays his usual refrain..) that means spouses, GF, BF, SD, clients, SPs, one-nighters, SDs or business partners!

 

[LordLoki]

My experience and situation reads identical to this...definitely a GF for me as well. I enjoy the emotional connection as much or more than the physical connection and when you have both at the same time, it's irresistable....with the right lady of course!

I have come to the conclusion that everything is better with the right woman. Possibly the right girl if you are younger than I. I have herd rumours from some women that they think the real secret is to find the right man.

I suspect that the right man with the right woman can create magic. Also pretty certain that when you pay for a woman you always see an actress. Some of the real person has to slip through, but the more skilled they are at making men happy, the more you see the skill and the less the woman.

If you do not see the real woman, best you can hope for is an illusion of happiness .

 

[LordLoki]

One topic that hasn't been discussed on this thread yet is whether you should have a one-dimensional plan or not. I agree with much which has been said about the relative cost of different relationships, etc. (I leave it to another thread to ponder why you won't find a female dominated board talking about the cost of supporting/entertaining various categories of men!), but I think that a complex life demands a complex strategy for happiness.

As a result, I don't think the choice is "either/or", rather it's "what's the right mix".

Very few men can lead a happy life with just a wife/SO in their life. Myself, I think the best combo is about:

35% Wife (mostly friendship, child rearing and family support partnership)
35% Girlfriend(s) (mostly romantic, sexual, some practical support)
0% Sugar Baby (too close to wife to be worth the cost)
30% Hobby (all sexual)

Comments? Different proposals?

hmmmm you are brave!!!!!!

 

[LordLoki]

One can also be lonely while still working, just easier to fill. your time with other things.

Getting sex is easy, either the free or the pay for play variety. But finding someone you actually like waking up to is much more difficult. And finding one who likes waking up to you as well is a wonderful thing.

Simple rule of thumb. No matter how romantic the evenings are at first, after a few years the feelings you have in the morning will have become the norm, with only the occasionally romantic evening. People get married for the evening feelings, then discover after a few years they have morning feelings left.

 

[cypherpunk]

Simple rule of thumb. No matter how romantic the evenings are at first, after a few years the feelings you have in the morning will have become the norm, with only the occasionally romantic evening. People get married for the evening feelings, then discover after a few years they have morning feelings left.

And the seven year itch is thought to be encoded in the DNA (disputed). Seven years is just long enough to raise a tribe member. Anything more is wasted reproduction opportunity. In any case, the best advice is to make something long-lasting out of the first few years.

 

[Bud Plug]

hmmmm you are brave!!!!!!

It's not really a matter of bravery. If taking a "safer" approach would mean you won't be happy, it's not really that "safe". Conversely, if the consequence of "getting caught" is that your currently unhappy life will be unwound, those consequences are really not that dangerous (painful, but not fatal).

I think everyone needs to feel happy to see the merit to continuing on with their lives. It's all about the choices necessary to waking up each morning and feeling positive about going forward .

 

[LordLoki]

It's not really a matter of bravery. If taking a "safer" approach would mean you won't be happy, it's not really that "safe". Conversely, if the consequence of "getting caught" is that your currently unhappy life will be unwound, those consequences are really not that dangerous (painful, but not fatal).

I think everyone needs to feel happy to see the merit to continuing on with their lives. It's all about the choices necessary to waking up each morning and feeling positive about going forward .

I get confused with just one woman making me happy. 3 would be overload for me.

 

[LordLoki]

Definition

OK stupid question…. Where is the line between Sugar Baby and GF?

Obviously if there is a $ transfer it is a Sugar thing. But most guys I know who have live in Gfs etc pay most or all of the expenses. And often take Gfs on trips. So where oes the line live?

 

[papasmerf]

OK stupid question…. Where is the line between Sugar Baby and GF?

Obviously if there is a $ transfer it is a Sugar thing. But most guys I know who have live in Gfs etc pay most or all of the expenses. And often take Gfs on trips. So where oes the line live?

weekly expenses

A GF is somewhat independent until you say I do

 

[LordLoki]

weekly expenses

A GF is somewhat independent until you say I do

Ya got the "I do" line between F and wife pretty clear. Although legal common law blurs it