Funny poetry
- Thread starter banshie
- Start date
One of my favorites, from my favorite author:
'I sometimes like a martini,
two at the very most.
At three I'm under the table,
at four I'm under the host.'
- Dorothy Parker
-- Morgan
'I sometimes like a martini,
two at the very most.
At three I'm under the table,
at four I'm under the host.'
- Dorothy Parker
-- Morgan
A scientist may at last disperse
the mysteries of the universe
But as for me, I cannot think
why pork is white and ham is pink
Ogden Nash
the mysteries of the universe
But as for me, I cannot think
why pork is white and ham is pink
Ogden Nash
Went down by the river to go a fishing
Sat beside a sweet young girl a fishing
When I pulled out my rod she went realling
Sat beside a sweet young girl a fishing
When I pulled out my rod she went realling
Philip Morris and Sweet Caporal took a stroll down Zig Zag lane to Buchingham palace, where they played with a Black Cat. He laid her on the Chesterfield; in nine months if it isn’t a Camel at least it was a Lucky Strike for both Players. 
Limericks
There once was a man named Dave,
who kept a dead whore in a cave.
She had only one tit,
and smelled worse than shit,
but think of the money Dave saved.
There once was a young man from Kent,
whose cock was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble,
he put it in double,
so instead of cumming...he went.
There once was a man from Pizazz,
who's nuts were made out of brass.
In stormy weather
he'd clack them together
and lightning shot out of his ass
There once was a man from Montclair,
who screwed his new wife on the stair,
When the banister broke,
he quickened his stroke
and finished her off in the air.
There once was a student named Gord,
whose girlfriend was as flat as a board.
Sucked as hard as he could,
pulled them more then he should,
but soon, even Gord got bored.
There once was a man named Eugene,
who invented a screwing machine.
Concave and convex,
it served either sex,
and it played with itself in between.
There once was a man named Dave,
who kept a dead whore in a cave.
She had only one tit,
and smelled worse than shit,
but think of the money Dave saved.
There once was a young man from Kent,
whose cock was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble,
he put it in double,
so instead of cumming...he went.
There once was a man from Pizazz,
who's nuts were made out of brass.
In stormy weather
he'd clack them together
and lightning shot out of his ass
There once was a man from Montclair,
who screwed his new wife on the stair,
When the banister broke,
he quickened his stroke
and finished her off in the air.
There once was a student named Gord,
whose girlfriend was as flat as a board.
Sucked as hard as he could,
pulled them more then he should,
but soon, even Gord got bored.
There once was a man named Eugene,
who invented a screwing machine.
Concave and convex,
it served either sex,
and it played with itself in between.
