Friend committed suicide help
- Thread starter pir180
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thumper18474
Well-known member
Dont beat yourself up
there could be as many reasons as to why it happened as there are stars in the sky....
I've had several close friends and family go that route...sometimes reasons were left behind..sometimes not...sometimes the signs were there and we/I either missed them or refused to acknowledge that there was a problem.
Understanding the reasons why may help you come to grips with this ...but it will not cure the hurt of losing someone this way.
My only advice to you would be cherish your time everyone close to you...cus..you never know..
Sorry for your loss and good luck
there could be as many reasons as to why it happened as there are stars in the sky....
I've had several close friends and family go that route...sometimes reasons were left behind..sometimes not...sometimes the signs were there and we/I either missed them or refused to acknowledge that there was a problem.
Understanding the reasons why may help you come to grips with this ...but it will not cure the hurt of losing someone this way.
My only advice to you would be cherish your time everyone close to you...cus..you never know..
Sorry for your loss and good luck
huckfinn
My book has been banned from schools.
Often your company benefits will include counselling. It would be a great idea if you reached out to them, and asked for help.
I think it important you don't try to cope yourself.
I hope things get better for you.....
Agree with the others. Cherish and remember the good times you had with the person. Have lost a fair few friends as well to suicide; its never easy. Don't ever going blaming yourself for not seeing signs of it coming. You'll only add to the pain
Best of luck. Keep your head up; so you can see where you're going
Best of luck. Keep your head up; so you can see where you're going
A co-worker of mine found his teenage son hanging from the basement rafters a few years back. I believe his family went through extensive counseling through his company benefit plan. What a terrible tragedy for anyone to go through so I sympathize for what you are going through right now. Take care of yourself and your family.
Do something to commemorate their life, perhaps a donation to a cause or plant a tree? Reach out to others who were close and share some of your good memories.
If your family physician is part of a health team like mine is, then there may be a mental health resource at your disposal. Definitely talking to someone helps, the worst thing you can do is bottle your feelings inside. And don't beat yourself up over it, there was probably nothing you could have done to averted this tragedy. Good luck to you.
Not sure if there is a textbook answer. Here is how the Richardsons dealt with their tragedy.
http://www.torontosun.com/2011/11/11/one-year-later-richardsons-hearts-still-heavy
http://www.torontosun.com/2011/11/11/one-year-later-richardsons-hearts-still-heavy
You'll have to go thru a period of grieving and sadness ...time will heal. You have to accept what happened.
Sorry to hear that. I have lost a couple of friends this way.
Definitely don't blame yourself. Seek counseling - as someone else mentioned, CAMH can be very helpful. Or talk to your family doctor.
So true.
What I found most disconcerting was the anger towards the person...mad because they didn't reach out because, dammit, you would have been there for them. that's a very deep personal pain of failure.
It is important that you try not to look for what could have happened if you were there to help, it just adds more guilt. It is normal to feel as if you are helpless now and that you could have done so much before, you have to think that even though other people's decision affect you, ultimately it was their decision and in life we have to respect other decisions specially if they cannot be changed now. It is ok to feel sadness, loss, guilt, fear, allow yourself to feel each one but don't let them dwell and don't let those feelings linger for long. Find things that makes you feel good and when a sad thought comes to you replace it with a good one about the person. Be grateful they were in your path and cherish their friendship and how it enriched your life.
There is always change happening, sometimes it takes loss to happen. Sending you love.
Anger is a normal part of the grieving process. You can get angry at the person who passed even if it was of natural causes.
When someone you love dies suddenly, the four stages are typically shock (and disbelief), sadness, anger, and eventually acceptance. But it's not linear. You can bounce back and forth between the stages several times. You can even feel all four at once. It's crucial to seek help early on - trust me. I didn't and I regret that.
Good advice in this thread. Don't be ashamed of the strong feelings this will unleash- you need to talk it out with someone. A friend, sibling, a pastor - hey even a dog. Best bet is to find another one of his friends and talk it out over beers. They will be feeling the same sense of loss. Suicide like any sudden death leaves the living feeling lost, the suddeness of it is hard to understand and makes us all uneasy and question ourselves. Just remember that no problem is insurmountable
"SARA" - Shock/Sadness, Anger, Resistance and Acceptance.
https://www.decision-wise.com/using-the-sara-model-to-learn-from-360-degree-feedback/
First, thank you for your post and bringing awareness to the effects suicide can have on others.
There's a pain in the mind of someone in that state. They look for ways to stop it and can be overwhelmed. They will try not to show you their thoughts because of the stigma and the impending issue of creating roadblocks to their suicide solution.
If you suspected anything it can be a challenge also as it's hard to know how to support someone , check this out when you have a moment ....
http://www.vice.com/read/how-do-you-cope-when-your-partner-has-depression-144
Reasons are hard to come by for why your friend did that. Knowing always helps with getting closure.
Did they go through a recent trauma? If so, were they isolated and alone alot afterwards?
Mental illness is like a sickness but very different from a cold or flu.
If you don't have a support structure or wellness recovery plan it can be a hard hole to climb out of. Heck, even if you have that, you can let the darkness creep by and get into that state again.
Everyone is different so you will have to let us know what worked for you? Talk therapy, exercise, or whatever. Time does not heal but does give you an opportunity to find ways to cope.
There's a pain in the mind of someone in that state. They look for ways to stop it and can be overwhelmed. They will try not to show you their thoughts because of the stigma and the impending issue of creating roadblocks to their suicide solution.
If you suspected anything it can be a challenge also as it's hard to know how to support someone , check this out when you have a moment ....
http://www.vice.com/read/how-do-you-cope-when-your-partner-has-depression-144
Reasons are hard to come by for why your friend did that. Knowing always helps with getting closure.
Did they go through a recent trauma? If so, were they isolated and alone alot afterwards?
Mental illness is like a sickness but very different from a cold or flu.
If you don't have a support structure or wellness recovery plan it can be a hard hole to climb out of. Heck, even if you have that, you can let the darkness creep by and get into that state again.
Everyone is different so you will have to let us know what worked for you? Talk therapy, exercise, or whatever. Time does not heal but does give you an opportunity to find ways to cope.
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http://www.todayinliterature.com/stories.asp?Event_Date=7/2/1961Sometimes, suicides, like heart disease/cancer, etc., runs in the family.
