Foods that make you Fart

[milwakeelight]

I will put this at the top of the list of foods not to eat on a date
tonight I had homemade pasta sauce with meat mushroom green pepper garlic
I thought why not buy these new whole grain pasta noodles

big fucken mistake between my veggie meat sauce and the whole grain I literarily have had 7 shits and 260 farts since lunch
who knew this combo is like a detox for the colon unless iim allergic or something crazy
it did the same job as taking an emema


DO NOT GO FOR THE WHOLE GRAIN PASTA WITH A FEMALE DURING ALONE TIME IT WILL BE A VERY STINKY NIGHT
I LITERARILY HAD TO STAY HOME ALL DAY AD NIGHT CAUSE IM EITHER TAKING A SHIT OR BLOWING OFF STTINK BOMB FARTS
IM PRETTY SURE TODAY I BROKE A HUNIESS WORLD RECORD FOR FARTS

 

[kherg007]

I remember passing a bar/restaurant near Yonge walking to a date and their chalk sandwich board outside advertised the daily special: "3 bean garlic chili" and I thought that had to be near the top of the "not before a date" food list.

 

[Ponderling]

Baked beans. Egg Salad. Chili
The unholy triumverate of my large colon, as to its musical and odorific fealty.

 

[jeff2]

Brewer's yeast.

 

[Insidious Von]

Pickled Eggs with steamed broccoli.

Carl Weathers, very under-rated actor.

 

[mburner]

I will put this at the top of the list of foods not to eat on a date
tonight I had homemade pasta sauce with meat mushroom green pepper garlic
I thought why not buy these new whole grain pasta noodles

big fucken mistake between my veggie meat sauce and the whole grain I literarily have had 7 shits and 260 farts since lunch
who knew this combo is like a detox for the colon unless iim allergic or something crazy
it did the same job as taking an emema


DO NOT GO FOR THE WHOLE GRAIN PASTA WITH A FEMALE DURING ALONE TIME IT WILL BE A VERY STINKY NIGHT
I LITERARILY HAD TO STAY HOME ALL DAY AD NIGHT CAUSE IM EITHER TAKING A SHIT OR BLOWING OFF STTINK BOMB FARTS
IM PRETTY SURE TODAY I BROKE A HUNIESS WORLD RECORD FOR FARTS

Don't think it was the whole grain pasta in and of itself. Rather it was totality of the dish. But I were to break down the sauce, a likely culprit would be the green bell peppers. Very acidic, which can irritate your digestive system, bottom (shits and farts) and top (heartburn).

 

[JohnHenry]

Pickled eggs, pickled peppers and draft beer. Memories of the Skyline Hotel.

 

[SinnamonFairbanks]

Oh god. I always joke that the hardest part of my job is holding in a fart. I have IBS and let me tell you how hard it is to hold it in and act like I don't poop or fart in a 3 hour booking. People want to act like we don't sh*t.

My IBS has cost me so many clients .

Mostly because they want to act like I don't need to use the toilet because there isn't one or I hold it in for so long and it becomes so painful I'm basically screaming when I finally do use the washroom.

I was just laughing about this one time with my girlfriend. I kept holding it and holding it and finally it all had to come out. I rushed to the bathroom and it was just coming out of me like hot lava. So loud and obnoxious. I was groaning, farting and pooping and apologizing profusely. I was begging for his forgiveness the whole time. I don't normally see people close to my social circle, but this time I made an exception because I was moving away. I'm sure EVERYONE has heard some version of what happened by now and I am MORTIFIED . Long story short he never called me back lol

 

[Butler1000]

Rickard's Red. I'm actually banned from drinking it.

 

[xix]

Artichoke

Flatulence

Foods that tend to trigger flatulence also contain essential nutrients and shouldn't be eliminated.

www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au

Foods to limit to reduce flatulence
A healthy diet requires plenty of variety. Foods that tend to produce large amounts of flatus also contain essential nutrients and shouldn't be eliminated. Limiting their consumption is a better option.

Examples of foods that commonly cause flatulence include:

• dairy products – such as milk, if lactose intolerance is present
• dried fruit – raisins and prunes
• fruit – apple, apricot, peach and pear
• foods high in insoluble fibre – particularly seeds and husks
• legumes – beans, peas, chickpeas, soybeans and nuts
• vegetables – carrot, eggplant, onion, Brussels sprouts and cabbage.

 

[steelcitysid]

Oh god. I always joke that the hardest part of my job is holding in a fart. I have IBS and let me tell you how hard it is to hold it in and act like I don't poop or fart in a 3 hour booking. People want to act like we don't sh*t.

My IBS has cost me so many clients .

Mostly because they want to act like I don't need to use the toilet because there isn't one or I hold it in for so long and it becomes so painful I'm basically screaming when I finally do use the washroom.

I was just laughing about this one time with my girlfriend. I kept holding it and holding it and finally it all had to come out. I rushed to the bathroom and it was just coming out of me like hot lava. So loud and obnoxious. I was groaning, farting and pooping and apologizing profusely. I was begging for his forgiveness the whole time. I don't normally see people close to my social circle, but this time I made an exception because I was moving away. I'm sure EVERYONE has heard some version of what happened by now and I am MORTIFIED . Long story short he never called me back lol

Probably someone who would pay extra for that lol

 

[tier3]

Basically anything on an empty stomach. Don't go on a date too hungry.

 

[unassuming]

 

[Mr Deeds]

Oh god. I always joke that the hardest part of my job is holding in a fart. I have IBS and let me tell you how hard it is to hold it in and act like I don't poop or fart in a 3 hour booking. People want to act like we don't sh*t.

My IBS has cost me so many clients .

Mostly because they want to act like I don't need to use the toilet because there isn't one or I hold it in for so long and it becomes so painful I'm basically screaming when I finally do use the washroom.

I was just laughing about this one time with my girlfriend. I kept holding it and holding it and finally it all had to come out. I rushed to the bathroom and it was just coming out of me like hot lava. So loud and obnoxious. I was groaning, farting and pooping and apologizing profusely. I was begging for his forgiveness the whole time. I don't normally see people close to my social circle, but this time I made an exception because I was moving away. I'm sure EVERYONE has heard some version of what happened by now and I am MORTIFIED . Long story short he never called me back lol

I'm sure there's a guy out there with a fart fetish that would be a regular, you might try a teaspoon of Angostura bitters I get good results from it.

 

[xmontrealer]

I will put this at the top of the list of foods not to eat on a date
tonight I had homemade pasta sauce with meat mushroom green pepper garlic
I thought why not buy these new whole grain pasta noodles

big fucken mistake between my veggie meat sauce and the whole grain I literarily have had 7 shits and 260 farts since lunch
who knew this combo is like a detox for the colon unless iim allergic or something crazy
it did the same job as taking an emema


DO NOT GO FOR THE WHOLE GRAIN PASTA WITH A FEMALE DURING ALONE TIME IT WILL BE A VERY STINKY NIGHT
I LITERARILY HAD TO STAY HOME ALL DAY AD NIGHT CAUSE IM EITHER TAKING A SHIT OR BLOWING OFF STTINK BOMB FARTS
IM PRETTY SURE TODAY I BROKE A HUNIESS WORLD RECORD FOR FARTS

If you're susceptible to loose bowels or gas, may I suggest the over-the-counter probiotic "Align". Basically introduces "friendly bacteria" to your stomach and intestines.

Easily found at Shopper's, Rexall, etc. Cost averages to about a buck a day, but very effective in taming your gut.

 

[Nickelodeon]

Broccoli and cheese soup. The repercussions are amazing.

 

[K Douglas]

One foot tat never makes me fart is beef stew. All the vegetables get broken down over the long simmering process. As long as there's no beans in it they will make you gassy no matter what.

 

[K Douglas]

Oh god. I always joke that the hardest part of my job is holding in a fart. I have IBS and let me tell you how hard it is to hold it in and act like I don't poop or fart in a 3 hour booking. People want to act like we don't sh*t.

My IBS has cost me so many clients .

Mostly because they want to act like I don't need to use the toilet because there isn't one or I hold it in for so long and it becomes so painful I'm basically screaming when I finally do use the washroom.

I was just laughing about this one time with my girlfriend. I kept holding it and holding it and finally it all had to come out. I rushed to the bathroom and it was just coming out of me like hot lava. So loud and obnoxious. I was groaning, farting and pooping and apologizing profusely. I was begging for his forgiveness the whole time. I don't normally see people close to my social circle, but this time I made an exception because I was moving away. I'm sure EVERYONE has heard some version of what happened by now and I am MORTIFIED . Long story short he never called me back lol

That sucks, I can sympathize. IBS runs in my family on my dad's side. He had Ulcerative colitis. It was brutal at times.

 

[Bucktee]

"I maintain that love is like a fart.
If you hold it in, it hurts.
If you let it out, it embarrasses you."

 

[LTO_3]

As long as I can remember chili and beer & pickled eggs and beer. Just cancel all meetings the next day (or 2) unless you're outside.

LTO_3