Poor old Booboobear can't find a woman and, dammit all to hell, its their fault - not his!
You see, North American women are fat, materialistic harpies who wear too much make-up, eat at McDonalds, and possess shallow values, forcing poor Boobie to troll the beaches of Brazil to find some gullible girl in a bikini who will wash his socks for him.
Folks, that just ain't right. Guys like Booboo shouldn't have to go overseas to find a serf, I mean, wife. So, in the interest of helping the poor guy out, here are some potential dates for him.
June Cleaver - TV Mom
(http://www.tvland.com/shows/litbeaver/character1.jhtml)
She's the quintessential TV mom — really, really swell. Being there for her family and keeping her home neat and orderly are June's main concerns.
Pros - A widow.
Cons - Possibly dead.
Barbara Bush - Former First Lady & Presidential Mom
(http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/firstladies/bb41.html)
During her husband's political career, Barbara has had the responsibility of moving and settling her family 29 times during their marriage! Usually she could have things running smoothly in a new home within a week.
Pros - Possibly alive.
Cons - Married.
Marge Simpson - Cartoon Character
(http://www.kidzworld.com/site/p968.htm)
Marge Simpson is the head of the Simpson family. She cooks, she cleans, she keeps the whole family from falling apart and has just enough time left for some romance and fun.
Pros - Most sexually appealing of the group.
Cons - Not a real person.
State Senator Kay O'Connor - Politician
(http://www.kslegislature.org/senateroster/s9.html)
The lovely Kay reveled in 2001 that she does not support the 19th Amendment, which guarantees women the right to vote, and that if it were being considered today she would vote against it. Although she does vote, O'Connor said in two subsequent interviews with The Kansas City Star that if men had been protecting the best interests of women, then women would not be forced to cast ballots and serve in the state legislature. Instead, they could stay home, raise families and tend to domestic duties, she said.
Pros - Shares same beliefs as BooBoo.
Cons - Possibly a man in drag.
The Real Doll - Sexual Toy
(http://www.realdoll.com/intro.asp)
The Real Doll features a completely articulated skeletons which allows for anatomically correct positioning, an exclusive blend of the most expensive silicone rubbers for an ultra-flesh like feel, and are each custom made to order.
Pros - No brain.
Cons - Can't fetch beers.
You see, North American women are fat, materialistic harpies who wear too much make-up, eat at McDonalds, and possess shallow values, forcing poor Boobie to troll the beaches of Brazil to find some gullible girl in a bikini who will wash his socks for him.
Folks, that just ain't right. Guys like Booboo shouldn't have to go overseas to find a serf, I mean, wife. So, in the interest of helping the poor guy out, here are some potential dates for him.
June Cleaver - TV Mom
(http://www.tvland.com/shows/litbeaver/character1.jhtml)
She's the quintessential TV mom — really, really swell. Being there for her family and keeping her home neat and orderly are June's main concerns.
Pros - A widow.
Cons - Possibly dead.
Barbara Bush - Former First Lady & Presidential Mom
(http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/firstladies/bb41.html)
During her husband's political career, Barbara has had the responsibility of moving and settling her family 29 times during their marriage! Usually she could have things running smoothly in a new home within a week.
Pros - Possibly alive.
Cons - Married.
Marge Simpson - Cartoon Character
(http://www.kidzworld.com/site/p968.htm)
Marge Simpson is the head of the Simpson family. She cooks, she cleans, she keeps the whole family from falling apart and has just enough time left for some romance and fun.
Pros - Most sexually appealing of the group.
Cons - Not a real person.
State Senator Kay O'Connor - Politician
(http://www.kslegislature.org/senateroster/s9.html)
The lovely Kay reveled in 2001 that she does not support the 19th Amendment, which guarantees women the right to vote, and that if it were being considered today she would vote against it. Although she does vote, O'Connor said in two subsequent interviews with The Kansas City Star that if men had been protecting the best interests of women, then women would not be forced to cast ballots and serve in the state legislature. Instead, they could stay home, raise families and tend to domestic duties, she said.
Pros - Shares same beliefs as BooBoo.
Cons - Possibly a man in drag.
The Real Doll - Sexual Toy
(http://www.realdoll.com/intro.asp)
The Real Doll features a completely articulated skeletons which allows for anatomically correct positioning, an exclusive blend of the most expensive silicone rubbers for an ultra-flesh like feel, and are each custom made to order.
Pros - No brain.
Cons - Can't fetch beers.
